to hide, she thought. She sat down on a barrel and thought about what she had just seen. She was in shock. She felt confused and angry at Declan; he had told her that he was making a documentary about club life. She distinctly remembered him not mentioning anything about making a show of her and her friends. And he had literally made a show of them. If he had asked her politely whether he could do it that would have been a different matter. Although she still wouldn’t have agreed to it.
But the last thing she wanted to do right now was to scream at Declan in front of everyone. Apart from the fact that it had completely humiliated her, Declan had actually filmed it and edited it very well. If it was anyone else but her on the TV, Holly would have thought it most deserving of the award. But it was her so therefore it didn’t deserve to win … Parts of it had been funny, she agreed, and she didn’t mind so much the bits of her and her friends being so silly; it was more the sneaky shots of her unhappiness that bothered her.
Thick salty tears trickled down her face and she wrapped her arms around her body to comfort herself. She had seen on television how she truly felt. Lost and alone. She cried for Gerry, she cried for herself with big heaving sobs that hurt her ribs whenever she tried to catch her breath. She didn’t want to be alone any more and she didn’t want her family seeing the loneliness she tried so hard to hide from them. She just wanted Gerry back and didn’t care about anything else. She didn’t care if he came back and they fought every day, she didn’t care if they were broke and had no house and no money. She just wanted him. She heard the door open behind her and felt big strong arms wrapping themselves round her frail body. She cried as though months of built-up anguish were all tumbling out at once.
‘What’s wrong with her? Didn’t she like it?’ she heard Declan ask worriedly.
‘Just leave her be, son,’ her mum said softly, and the door was closed behind them again as Daniel stroked Holly’s hair and rocked her softly.
Finally, after crying what felt like all the tears in the world, Holly stopped and let go of Daniel. ‘Sorry,’ she sniffed, drying her face with the sleeves of her top.
‘There’s no need to be sorry,’ he said, gently removing her hand from her face and handing her a tissue.
She sat in silence while trying to compose herself.
‘If you’re upset about the documentary, then there’s no need,’ he said, sitting down on a crate of glasses opposite her.
‘Yeah, right,’ she said sarcastically, wiping her tears again.
‘No, really,’ he insisted. ‘I thought it was really funny. You all looked like you were having a great time.’
‘Pity that’s not how I felt,’ she said sadly.
‘Maybe that’s not how you felt but the camera doesn’t pick up on feelings, Holly.’
‘You don’t have to try to make me feel better.’ Holly was embarrassed at being consoled by a stranger.
‘I’m not trying to make you feel better, I’m just saying it like it is. Nobody but you noticed whatever it is that’s upsetting you. I didn’t see anything so why should anyone else?’
Holly felt mildly better. ‘Are you sure?’
‘I’m sure I’m sure,’ Daniel said, smiling. ‘Now you really have to stop hiding in all the rooms in my club. I might take it personally,’ he laughed.
‘Are the girls OK?’ Holly asked, hoping it was just her being stupid after all.
There was loud laughter from outside.
‘They’re fine, as you can hear.’ He nodded towards the door. ‘Ciara’s delighted everyone will think she’s a star, Denise has finally come out of the toilet and Sharon just can’t stop laughing. Although Jack’s giving Abbey a hard time about throwing up on the way home.’
Holly chuckled.
‘So you see, nobody even noticed what you saw.’
‘Thanks, Daniel.’ She took a deep breath and smiled at him.
‘You ready to go face your public?’
‘Think so.’ Holly stepped outside to the sounds of laughter. The lights were up and everyone was sitting around the table and happily sharing jokes and stories. Holly sat beside her mum. Elizabeth wrapped her arm round her daughter and gave her a kiss on the cheek.
‘Well, I thought it was great,’ announced Jack enthusiastically. ‘If only we could get Declan to go out with the girls all the time, then we’d know what they get up to, eh, John?’ he winked at Sharon’s husband.
‘Well, I can assure you,’ Abbey spoke up, ‘that what you saw is not a regular girls’ night out.’
The boys weren’t having any of it.
‘So is it OK?’ Declan asked Holly, afraid he had upset her.
Holly threw him a look.
‘I thought you would like it, Hol,’ he said worriedly.
‘I might have liked it if I had known what you were doing,’ she snapped back.
‘But I wanted it to be a surprise,’ he said genuinely.
‘I hate surprises.’ She rubbed her stinging eyes.
‘Let that be a lesson to you, son,’ Frank warned Declan. ‘You shouldn’t go around filming people without them knowing what you’re doing. It’s illegal.’
‘I bet they didn’t know that when they chose him for the award,’ Elizabeth agreed.
‘You’re not gonna tell them, are you, Holly?’ Declan asked worriedly.
‘Not if you’re nice to me for the next few months,’ Holly said slyly, twisting her hair around her finger.
Declan made a face. He was stuck and he knew it. ‘Yeah, whatever,’ he said, waving her away.
‘To tell you the truth, Holly, I have to admit I thought it was quite funny,’ giggled Sharon. ‘You and your Operation Gold Curtain.’ She thumped Denise playfully on the leg.
Denise rolled her eyes. ‘I can tell you all something – I am never drinking again.’
Everyone laughed and Tom put his arm round her shoulders.
‘What?’ she said innocently. ‘I really mean it.’
‘Speaking of drink, would anyone like one?’ Daniel stood up from his chair. ‘Jack?’
‘Yeah, a Budweiser, thanks.’
‘Abbey?’
‘Em … a white wine, please,’ she said politely.
‘Frank?’
‘A Guinness, thanks, Daniel.’
‘I’ll have the same,’ said John.
‘Sharon?’
