Martin answered. “Yes. Over that necklace.”
I had never forgotten the first time I heard her say this in an interview. I remembered everything she said about it, about the necklace. And about that night.
“I loved that necklace, so Emma wore it every day because she knew it upset me to see it on her neck. That day, at school, we were walking home together and Emma was nervous about something. I could tell. She was distracted. We walked in silence the whole way. When we got home, she went to her room and closed her door. She didn’t come down for dinner, remember?”
Mrs. Martin shook her head and stared at me like she was losing her patience. It made me want to ramble on and on.
“I don’t know, Cass. I don’t remember about dinner,” she said.
“I tried to talk to her but she wouldn’t let me in her room. I pounded on the door until she opened it. She was afraid you would hear and she didn’t want to draw attention to what she was doing. I walked into her room and saw some clothes laid out on her bed. She had just taken a shower. So I asked her if she was going out, and where and why on a school night. I was trying to make her mad because she had been so weird all day. But she seemed different. Less interested somehow, like this was all beneath her. She started organizing her purse. She put on her clothes. Then she turned toward the bathroom door and just pushed me out of the way. ‘Come back here!’ I screamed at her. . . . Do you remember all of that?”
Dr. Winter answered. “I remember your mother telling us about that. How she heard you fighting and then she saw the car pull out of the driveway.”
My mother had this story down perfectly. And so did I.
“I knew she was leaving because she’d put her car keys in her purse. The necklace was on the bed next to the clothes and I snatched it up before she came back for it. I put it around my neck. ‘I have the necklace!’ I said. ‘You can’t have it back until you tell me where you’re going!’ She came storming out of the bathroom, yelling at me to give it back. She tried to grab it off my neck and I pushed her away. Then she finally got her hand on it and she ripped it off me. It broke the chain. But she didn’t care. She put it on her neck and tied the chain like a rope, in a knot, so it would stay. She looked in the mirror and adjusted the angel. Then she just turned and went back into the bathroom.
“I was so furious! I went out to her car and got in the way back. She keeps blankets in there for when they go to the beach to drink and I hid under them. I thought, ‘I’m gonna go where she goes and get pictures of her doing things she’s not supposed to be doing and then I’m gonna get her in trouble.’ It’s all so stupid, isn’t it?”
Dr. Winter looked at me sympathetically. “No, Cass. You were fifteen. It sounds very normal.”
Mrs. Martin copied her. She was very good at taking cues when she didn’t want anyone to see what was in her mind. Or her heart.
“Yes, sweetheart.” Her words were nice but her tone was laced with frustration.
“I waited there for a long time before the driver’s-side door opened and closed and then we started to move. I remember feeling nervous about my plan to get her in trouble. The car stopped at the beach, in a spot in the very back of the lot. I heard Emma sigh really hard and long, like she was nervous, too. But then she got out of the car, left her purse, and the keys, and walked to the shore. I waited a few seconds and then got out, slowly and quietly. I followed her and I know she didn’t see me, because she kept going toward the water without looking back. When she got there, she took off her shoes and waded into the water. I stood behind the changing room, peeking out from the side. I could see her in the moonlight, and I thought maybe she was going to swim with all her clothes on. But she didn’t move. She just stood there looking at the water and splashing it with her toes.
“And then there were headlights coming from behind me. They shined onto her and she seemed startled but then she started walking toward the car, away from the water. I know she was startled because she forgot her shoes. She walked right past the changing rooms where I was hiding and watching. The lights went off. Then the engine. A door opened and a man got out. There was also a woman in the car but she stayed inside.
“Emma started to walk toward the car, toward this man, and I felt this horrible fear that she was leaving forever. I ran toward the car and screamed her name. ‘Emma!’ I started to see him more clearly. He was older. He had brown hair and a kind smile and he folded Emma into his arms in a big hug.
“They both stopped when they heard me call out for her. The man looked at Emma, and his smile went away. Emma stormed over to me. She was so angry. She was desperate. She knew I had just spoiled her plan. She grabbed my arms and told me she was leaving, that she couldn’t take it anymore. I started crying, grabbing at her. I was so upset. I couldn’t imagine life without Emma. She was my sister and I had never been without her.
“She pulled away and walked toward the car. She said to the man, ‘Let’s just go.’ But he shook his head. They spoke in whispers. Then she shook her head and he grabbed her shoulders and looked at her sternly. She came back to me and she said ‘Now you have to come with us.’ I was scared. I didn’t know where they were going. We saw headlights coming down the beach. It was the sand groomer. It always comes at night. There was no time to think. Emma grabbed my arm and pulled me toward the car. I don’t know if I tried to break free. I honestly don’t know. My feet were moving and they walked me to the car. We all got in and we drove away.”
I stopped there and looked around the room. Dr. Winter, Agent Strauss, Mrs. Martin—they were all staring at me now, mesmerized by the story.
It was Agent Strauss who broke the spell. “Do you remember anything else that this man said? Either on the beach or in the car? Did they introduce themselves, explain what was happening?”
I shook my head. “No one said anything. It was creepy. We just drove until we got to the boat.”
“Do you remember how long you drove? What time you left and what time the car finally stopped?”
“I wish I could. I know that would be helpful because we went right from the beach to the boat, and then to the island. I fell asleep for a while. We stopped for food and to use the bathroom. We stopped for gas another time and it was still dark out and much colder than it had been at the beach. It was still dark when we got to a dock. It smelled like pine trees. I’m sorry. I usually keep good track of the time.”
“That’s okay, Cass. Just continue the story. What happened next?” Agent Strauss said.
“I remember thinking that maybe I didn’t know my own sister at all. I mean, I had not known about Bill. I had not known about her plan to leave home. I had not even known she was pregnant. I thought she was going out to meet a guy. I was so stupid! It made me scared and I wanted to leave and run home as fast as I could. But then I thought I would be in so much trouble if I left without knowing where Emma was going, and for leaving in the first place and for hiding in Emma’s car. It’s so clear what I would do now, being older, and knowing what could happen to us. But then, in my mind, and not knowing, I felt like I had to stay with her until I knew where she was going. I made a plan to do that, and then to find my way home. I remember feeling better having this plan and I lay my head down against the window. The woman, Lucy, had given me a blanket and I pulled it over my head, over my whole face and everything.
“I woke up to the sound of music playing and the wind on my forehead. Emma had rolled her window all the way down. Her head was hanging far enough out so the wind could catch her hair and blow it hard away from her face. She was humming and
