a family? Why would you threaten that? There are people in the world who would give anything to have what he has.”
And I’m one of them, came instantly to Dixie’s mind. She was saved from comment by the arrival of her food. “Have you eaten, Danny?” she asked.
“Yeah. A couple of hours ago.”
“Well, have a French fry so I don’t feel self-conscious eating alone.”
“Thanks,” he said, taking one. “I’m really sorry, Dixie. About all of it.”
Dixie gazed at him for a long, somber moment. She remembered what she had overheard the day of that fateful flight with F.O. and Mrs. Darnell. What did she expect? She’s such a ditz. “I have to take some of the responsibility. I didn’t check him out thoroughly, and I could have. I just believed him—the old smooth-talker.” She sighed. “Sometimes I’m just a ditz.”
He laughed outright. “You? Come on, Dixie, you were conned. It’s not your fault. You’re no ditz. I’ve worked with you a lot over the years. I know how smart you are.” He grabbed the book she had been reading. “John Adams by David McCullough. Jeez,” he laughed. “Who are you kidding?”
“I love John and Abigail Adams. Now, they were a real couple, a team. They checked everything with each other, gave each other advice and support. And that was not the typical way of marriages back then.”
“The last time I flew with you, you were reading The Lexus and the Olive Tree.”
Her eyes lit up. “That’s right! We had a big discussion about it! I forgot, you’re an avid reader, too.”
“Have to have something to do on these layovers,” he said, then instantly wished he could withdraw the remark. No point broadcasting to the world that he was always alone.
“Do you ever get so sick of this?” she asked. “Sometimes it’s hard, boring and just plain lonely.”
Dixie? Lonely? Not from what he’d witnessed. She always had someone to spend the night with when she was out on the road.
“I’ve wanted to fly since I was a little kid,” he said. “It gives me a rush every time. I still can’t believe they let me check out a hundred-and-sixty-ton 767 and take it out for a spin every time I come to work. It’s the one thing in life that never lets me down. In fact, it’s one of those things that when it’s a challenge, when it’s just a little bit scary, it gets even better.” He took another French fry off her plate. “Do you remember Joe Riordan? He was at Aries briefly, about twelve years ago—when the company was still pretty young and real small. In fact, he was responsible for a lot of the growth.”
“Sure I remember him,” she said. “But my friend Nikki knows him real well.”
“Yeah, Nikki would’ve known him—she did something in management. Training or something. He left here for TWA, closed that one down, consulted for a couple of years, and now he’s in Las Vegas starting a new airline.”
“Oh, so he’s certifiable?”
Danny laughed. “Actually, it’s not as crazy as you might think. The really big companies are having a hard time getting costs down—like Aries. The odds favor a new start-up to the old dinosaurs that are bleeding millions a day. I’m thinking of calling him. I’d love to get in on the ground floor of something new.”
She almost choked. “Danny! Are you crazy? You were in on the ground floor of this company.”
“Sort of. The company was a few years old, but we only had three jets. But, God, it was fun. We were a bunch of kids and scabs and crop dusters and ex-patriots…. We did anything we were told. We swept up, dispatched, hauled trash, washed planes, cleaned up the cabin after every flight. And every single one of us would have paid Aries to fly their planes. Now? Hardly anyone is happy. They complain constantly. They’d turn their backs on Aries in a second. I have a feeling this company isn’t going to make it.”
“But you’d start over? At your age? That’s a pretty big risk….”
“There’s only me,” he said, shrugging. “If I had a family to worry about, I might be more cautious…. Butthere’s only me. And I want to be in a place where I’m having a great time. Like I had when this outfit started.”
Five
Carlisle was pulling freshly dried and fragrant clothes from Dixie’s dryer when he heard his cell phone twittering upstairs. He held a hopeful, fearful breath while it flipped onto voice mail. Then he went upstairs to check the message.
Ah! Him! Now what?
“Carlisle, let’s stop this nonsense, you’re not fooling me a bit,” came Robert’s voice. “If you were really leaving me, you wouldn’t be right around the corner at Dixie’s. You want me to find you. I’m giving you till 6:00 p.m. and then I’m coming for you. This is ridiculous. You’ve tried before and you just can’t do it. We’re meant to be together and you know it.”
That was one of the first things he’d said to win Carlisle over. We’re meant to be together and you know it. That one sentence had irrevocably changed Carlisle’s life. At first he’d thought it had been to the good. Now he knew better.
When he’d met Robert, Carlisle had been in a dull, albeit stable, relationship. He was thirty-five then and had been “out” for about the same length of time he’d been at Aries. His partner, Alex, was fifteen years his senior, and they’d been together for just over six years. Had Carlisle given in to the seven-year itch?
Alex was a university professor with a Ph.D. in Renaissance literature. He tried to get Carlisle involved with his academic friends but had no interest in Carlisle’s airline buddies or even the Phoenix gay community. Alex preferred a quiet, intellectual life, while Carlisle wanted to have a little fun.
Along came Robert, a flashy wine-and-spirits sales rep who put the moves on Carlisle. To his shame, Carlisle was swept away a little too easily. It wasn’t true that gay meant easy. Carlisle had always been very discriminating; his good looks and sharp wit set him apart from the crowd and he did the choosing. But Robert was even more handsome, and they made a fetching couple.
After a brief and passionate fling with Robert, Carlisle left Alex. His friends endorsed the move. Robert was charming, funny, sexy. Men and women alike fell for him. “You have to be happy,” they would tell Carlisle. “You’ve outgrown Alex.” And “You have to follow your bliss.”
The only person who had not encouraged his breakup was Nikki. “You just don’t know how wonderful dull can be, Carlisle.” But why in the world would he have taken her advice? She never encouraged anyone in romance, probably because of the mess she’d made of her own love life.
It was amazing how short that “bliss” turned out to be. Robert was a fraud. He wasn’t charming, he was manipulative. Mean. Controlling and unfaithful and possessive. At first, Robert easily convinced Carlisle that their problems stemmed from the craziness of dealing with Alex, who’d become hysterical after Carlisle left.
But within a few months Alex had found someone new and left his ex alone. By then, Carlisle and Robert had had at least a dozen blistering fights, and Carlisle had been hit twice. Robert had been devastated that he’d lost control and swore it would never happen again.
Of
