bouncer looked around. ‘Yeah, I was here last night. But a lot of people come in and out of here, I probably won’t be able to help you. You should ring the police or something.’
Rob took out his wallet, removing the small picture he had of Jemma inside. ‘Do you remember her?’
The bouncer looked at the photo, his brow furrowed. ‘I think I do as it happens. She left on her own, about two. She was on her phone. She walked off towards the top.’ He gestured towards the top of Matthew Street.
‘Did you hear her talking at all, where she might have been going?’
He shook his head in reply. ‘Sorry I can’t be any more help. I hope you find her.’
Rob thanked him and wandered back to his car. He couldn’t think of anything else to do. He needed that list. He started driving towards home. He called Helen at the house, glad to find she’d gone there as he’d asked. He turned on the radio, looking for some music to try and clear his mind of the images which threatened to enter. He found the local radio station, but it played that shite dance music and Rob quickly scanned past it. He settled on easy listening.
Focus. That’s what he needed to do. Decide on a plan of action and start doing something.
He started at the beginning. Jemma had been out with her friend Carla. So start there. He turned right instead of left on the road out of the town centre, and drove towards her house.
Carla had married Andy the previous year, in what Rob had described as a fuck of an expensive party, much to Jemma’s distaste. She’d loved the whole spectacle of it.
Should have noticed that. All her friends were married. She always seemed happy, but why hadn’t he wanted to make things more permanent?
He pulled up outside Carla’s house around ten minutes later. He checked the dashboard clock, almost eight in the evening. A quick pang of hunger hit him as he got out the car. He hadn’t eaten since earlier in the day, when he’d made a sandwich and taken two bites of it before throwing it out. Too nervous. The thought of eating anything at that moment was enough to start his stomach churning again. Rob tried to shake the feeling off as he approached the door of the terraced house on the quiet street. They’d moved there recently. New baby, new house. Always the way.
As he reached for the doorbell, he stopped and knocked softly, mindful of their newborn. Thirty seconds later and he knocked again, a little louder. Andy opened the door, a tea towel over his shoulder, his hands still wet.
‘Rob. Come on in, mate. I was just washing some dishes.’ Rob wiped his feet on the doormat and closed the door after himself. He followed Andy into the living room, where Carla was sitting with her feet underneath her on a leather sofa, watching some reality show on TV. She wasn’t stunning, but Carla was nice looking in an understated way. Smaller than Jemma, brunette instead of blonde. Small in stature, but big on confidence. Sometimes that can go a long way. Sometimes, only on the odd occasion he needed something a bit different to fantasise about, Rob had pictured her face in the dark as he and Jemma made love. He looked away from her as the thought entered his head.
Their newborn daughter was in a small Moses basket next to her. Sleeping. From what Jemma had said, that was a rare occurrence.
‘Hi, Rob,’ Carla said. ‘Any news?’
‘Nothing,’ Rob replied. ‘You don’t seem too worried.’
Carla leaned over to check on the baby. ‘I am, of course. But I’m sure she’ll come home when she’s ready.’
Andy shifted beside Rob. ‘You want a drink or something?’ he said.
‘No thanks,’ Rob replied, shaking his head. He sat down on the sofa opposite Carla. Andy looked over at her, and she nodded slightly. ‘I’ll get back to doing the dishes then.’ As he left the room, Carla leaned back, her hands coming to a rest across her stomach. Rolled her eyes at the door.
‘What’s going on?’
She shifted her feet and stretched out her legs in front of her. ‘Look, Rob … she told me what was going on between you. Are you that surprised that she’s gone away for a bit?’
‘What are you talking about?’ Rob said.
‘You know … you and Jemma haven’t been getting on lately. She was talking about leaving.’
How to react. Surprise? Acceptance? Fear? The first one. ‘This is news to me. When did she say this?’
‘Last night. She said she was fed up with the arguments and wanted to go away for a bit. This isn’t the first time she’s done something like this, just disappeared for a few days or longer when she wants to clear her head. So no. No, I’m not worried.’
‘Are you serious?’ Rob said, unable to keep his voice from rising slightly.
‘Shh, you’ll wake Leah. Look, I know it’s a shock, but you must have known she wasn’t happy. You did know, didn’t you?’
Rob sat back on the sofa, ran his hands through his hair and down onto his face. He wanted to say something then. Confess it was his fault. And it wasn’t the first time. Instead, he kept going. ‘No. I had no idea. She always seemed so happy. We never argued over anything big, just stupid stuff really. Whose turn it was to wash up, why couldn’t I pick my socks up. You know, small insignificant bollocks like that. Nothing major. She wasn’t happy?’
Carla placed her hands either side of her and lifted off the sofa slowly. She came across to him, settling down to his right, placing a hand on his shoulder tentatively. ‘Look, Rob,’ she said. ‘Sometimes we don’t always see what’s right in front of us. I’m sure she’s just gone somewhere to clear her head.’
That wasn’t supposed to happen. No touching. Calm. He needed to stay calm. ‘You said it’s not the first time she’s done something like this. What did you mean?’
‘Has she never said anything to you?’
He shook his head in response.
‘Well, Jemma was seeing someone, a few years before you. She didn’t know how to leave him, so she just left one night. She was gone for a few months, turned out she’d planned it well before that night. Had a friend down south who she stayed with. Even worked for a bit down there.’
Rob lifted his eyes from the carpet. Looked across at the flickering quiet images coming from the TV. ‘We were fine, Carla. I don’t understand any of this. If she had problems, why didn’t she say anything?’
Carla began to move her hand down his arm, before resting her hand in his.
‘Sometimes, she doesn’t know a good thing when it’s right in front of her. That was always a problem for her.’
Rob looked down at her hand, moved his eyes upwards and held her gaze for a few seconds. She opened her mouth a little as if to say something, but nothing came out. A voice from over her shoulder broke the silence.
‘Everything okay in here?’ Andy said.
Carla jumped up off the sofa at the sound of his voice. ‘Fine, babe. Rob just needed to hear some things he didn’t know about Jemma.’
Andy
