A Widow’s Story: A Memoir. Joyce Carol Oates

Чтение книги онлайн.

Читать онлайн книгу A Widow’s Story: A Memoir - Joyce Carol Oates страница 24

A Widow’s Story: A Memoir - Joyce Carol Oates

Скачать книгу

when I’d been visiting Ray in the hospital, of ceaselessly rummaging through a handbag or a tote bag to see if somehow I’d lost something crucial like car keys, or my wallet, or a death certificate.

      In fact, I have not misplaced the death certificate. Of several copies hand-delivered to me by Elizabeth Davis of the Blackwell Memorial Home—a gesture of kindness which I will not forget—just one was defiled by Reynard, and has been disposed of.

      (Though later, I will retrieve this copy of the death certificate from the trash. For I am fearful of running out of copies—so many parties seem to want one, as if doubtful that Raymond Smith is deceased. That one of the copies exudes a sour cat-smell is unfortunate.)

      Many times in a curious breathless trance I have read this Certificate of Death issued by the State of New Jersey Department of Health and Senior Services. You would think from my concentrated interest that I might be expecting to learn something new, to be surprised. Like one digging at a wound to make it bleed I am drawn to reading the sparse information again and again, to no purpose since I have memorized it—

      Cause of Death

      Immediate Cause

      Cardiopulmonary Arrest

      Due to (or as a consequence of)

      Pneumonia

      A minimalist poem by William Carlos Williams!

      Now in the dour waiting room of the surrogate court as I reread the death certificate it occurs to me to wonder—is this true? Did Ray die simply of pneumonia, or were other factors involved?

      A secondary infection, I’d been told. There is no mention of a secondary infection in the document.

      I think that I remember having been asked at the medical center if I wanted Ray’s body autopsied. In whatever haze of confusion at the time quickly I’d said no.

      No! No.

      Could not bear it. The thought of Ray’s body being mutilated.

      I know!—the body is not the man. Not “Ray.”

      And yet—where else had “Ray” resided, except in that body?

      Конец ознакомительного фрагмента.

      Текст предоставлен ООО «ЛитРес».

      Прочитайте эту книгу целиком, купив полную легальную версию на ЛитРес.

      Безопасно оплатить книгу можно банковской картой Visa, MasterCard, Maestro, со счета мобильного телефона, с платежного терминала, в салоне МТС или Связной, через PayPal, WebMoney, Яндекс.Деньги, QIWI Кошелек, бонусными картами или другим удобным Вам способом.

iVBORw0KGgoAAAANSUhEUgAAA0gAAAVCCAIAAACwzk7QAAAACXBIWXMAABcSAAAXEgFnn9JSAAAK T2lDQ1BQaG90b3Nob3AgSUNDIHByb2ZpbGUAAHjanVNnVFPpFj333vRCS4iAlEtvUhUIIFJCi4AU kSYqIQkQSoghodkVUcERRUUEG8igiAOOjoCMFVEsDIoK2AfkIaKOg6OIisr74Xuja9a89+bN/rXX Pues852zzwfACAyWSDNRNYAMqUIeEeCDx8TG4eQuQIEKJHAAEAizZCFz/SMBAPh+PDwrIsAHvgAB eNMLCADATZvAMByH/w/qQplcAYCEAcB0kThLCIAUAEB6jkKmAEBGAYCdmCZTAKAEAGDLY2LjAFAt AGAnf+bTAICd+Jl7AQBblCEVAaCRACATZYhEAGg7AKzPVopFAFgwABRmS8Q5ANgtADBJV2ZIALC3 AMDOEAuyAAgMADBRiIUpAAR7AGDIIyN4AISZABRG8lc88SuuEOcqAAB4mbI8uSQ5RYFbCC1xB1dX Lh4ozkkXKxQ2YQJhmkAuwnmZGTKBNA/g88wAAKCRFRHgg/P9eM4Ors7ONo62Dl8t6r8G/yJiYuP+ 5c+rcEAAAOF0ftH+LC+zGoA7BoBt/qIl7gRoXgugdfeLZrIPQLUAoOnaV/Nw+H48PEWhkLnZ2eXk 5NhKxEJbYcpXff5nwl/AV/1s+X48/Pf14L7iJIEyXYFHBPjgwsz0TKUcz5IJhGLc5o9H/LcL//wd 0yLESWK5WCoU41EScY5EmozzMqUiiUKSKcUl0v9k4t8s+wM+3zUAsGo+AXuRLahdYwP2SycQWHTA 4vcAAPK7b8HUKAgDgGiD4c93/+8//UegJQCAZkmScQAAXkQkLlTKsz/HCAAARKCBKrBBG/TBGCzA BhzBBdzBC/xgNoRCJMTCQhBCCmSAHHJgKayCQiiGzbAdKmAv1EAdNMBRaIaTcA4uwlW4Dj1wD/ph CJ7BKLyBCQRByAgTYSHaiAFiilgjjggXmYX4IcFIBBKLJCDJiBRRIkuRNUgxUopUIFVIHfI9cgI5 h1xGupE7yAAygvyGvEcxlIGyUT3UDLVDuag3GoRGogvQZHQxmo8WoJvQcrQaPYw2oefQq2gP2o8+ Q8cwwOgYBzPEbDAuxsNCsTgsCZNjy7EirAyrxhqwVqwDu4n1Y8+xdwQSgUXACTYEd0IgYR5BSFhM WE7YSKggHCQ0EdoJNwkDhFHCJyKTqEu0JroR+cQYYjIxh1hILCPWEo8TLxB7iEPENyQSiUMyJ7mQ AkmxpFTSEtJG0m5SI+ksqZs0SBojk8naZGuyBzmULCAryIXkneTD5DPkG+Qh8lsKnWJAcaT4U+Io UspqShnlEOU05QZlmDJBVaOaUt2ooVQRNY9aQq2htlKvUYeoEzR1mjnNgxZJS6WtopXTGmgXaPdp r+h0uhHdlR5Ol9BX0svpR+iX6AP0dwwNhhWDx4hnKBmbGAcYZxl3GK+YTKYZ04sZx1QwNzHrmOeZ D5lvVVgqtip8FZHKCpVKlSaVGyovVKmqpqreqgtV81XLVI+pXlN9rkZVM1PjqQnUlqtVqp1Q61Mb U2epO6iHqmeob1Q/pH5Z/YkGWcNMw09DpFGgsV/jvMYgC2MZs3gsIWsNq4Z1gTXEJrHN2Xx2KruY /R27iz2qqaE5QzNKM1ezUvOUZj8H45hx+Jx0TgnnKKeX836K3hTvKeIpG6Y0TLkxZVxrqpaXllir SKtRq0frvTau7aedpr1Fu1n7gQ5Bx0onXCdHZ4/OBZ3nU9lT3acKpxZNPTr1ri6qa6UbobtEd79u p+6Ynr5egJ5Mb6feeb3n+hx9L/1U/W36p/VHDFgGswwkBtsMzhg8xTVxbzwdL8fb8VFDXcNAQ6Vh lWGX4YSRudE8o9VGjUYPjGnGXOMk423GbcajJgYmISZLTepN7ppSTbmmKaY7TDtMx83MzaLN1pk1 mz0x1zLnm+eb15vft2BaeFostqi2uGVJsuRaplnutrxuhVo5WaVYVVpds0atna0l1rutu6cRp7lO k06rntZnw7Dxtsm2qbcZsOXYBtuutm22fWFnYhdnt8Wuw+6TvZN9un2N/T0HDYfZDqsdWh1+c7Ry FDpWOt6azpzuP33F9JbpL2dYzxDP2DPjthPLKcRpnVOb00dnF2e5c4PziIuJS4LLLpc+Lpsbxt3I veRKdPVxXeF60vWdm7Obwu2o26/uNu5p7ofcn8w0nymeWTNz0MPIQ+BR5dE/C5+VMGvfrH5PQ0+B Z7XnIy9jL5FXrdewt6V3qvdh7xc+9j5yn+M+4zw33jLeWV/MN8C3yLfLT8Nvnl+F30N/I/9k/3r/ 0QCngCUBZwOJgUGBWwL7+Hp8Ib+OPzrbZfay2e1BjKC5QRVBj4KtguXBrSFoyOyQrSH355jOkc5p DoVQfujW0Adh5mGLw34MJ4WHhVeGP45wiFga0TGXNXfR3ENz30T6RJZE3ptnMU85ry1KNSo+qi5q PNo3ujS6P8YuZlnM1VidWElsSxw5LiquNm5svt/87fOH4p3iC+N7F5gvyF1weaHOwvSFpxapLhIs OpZATIhOOJTwQRAqqBaMJfITdyWOCnnCHcJnIi/RNtGI2ENcKh5O8kgqTXqS7JG8NXkkxTOlLOW5 hCepkLxMDUzdmzqeFpp2IG0yPTq9MYOSkZBxQqohTZO2Z+pn5mZ2y6xlhbL+xW6Lty8elQfJa7OQ rAVZLQq2QqboVFoo1yoHsmdlV2a/zYnKOZarnivN7cyzytuQN5zvn//tEsIS4ZK2pYZLVy0dWOa9 rGo5sjxxedsK4xUFK4ZWBqw8uIq2Km3VT6vtV5eufr0mek1rgV7ByoLBtQFr6wtVCuWFfevc1+1d T1gvWd+1YfqGnRs+FYmKrhTbF5cVf9go3HjlG4dvyr+Z3JS0qavEuWTPZtJm6ebeLZ5bDpaql+aX Dm4N2dq0Dd9WtO319kXbL5fNKNu7g7ZDuaO/PLi8ZafJzs07P1SkVPRU+lQ27tLdtWHX+G7R7ht7 vPY07NXbW7z3/T7JvttVAVVN1WbVZftJ+7P3P66Jqun4lvttXa1ObXHtxwPSA/0HIw6217nU1R3S PVRSj9Yr60cOxx++/p3vdy0NNg1VjZzG4iNwRHnk6fcJ3/ceDTradox7rOEH0x92HWcdL2pCmvKa RptTmvtbYlu6T8w+0dbq3nr8R9sfD5w0PFl5SvNUyWna6YLTk2fyz4ydlZ19fi753GDborZ752PO 32oPb++6EHTh0kX/i+c7vDvOXPK4dPKy2+UTV7hXmq86X23qdOo8/pPTT8e7nLuarrlca7nuer21 e2b36RueN87d9L158Rb/1tWeOT3dvfN6b/fF9/XfFt1+cif9zsu72Xcn7q28T7xf9EDtQdlD3YfV P1v+3Njv3H9qwHeg89HcR/cGhYPP/pH1jw9DBY+Zj8uGDYbrnjg+OTniP3L96fynQ89kzyaeF/6i /suuFxYvfvjV69fO0ZjRoZfyl5O/bXyl/erA6xmv28bCxh6+yXgzMV70VvvtwXfcdx3vo98PT+R8 IH8o/2j5sfVT0Kf7kxmTk/8EA5jz/GMzLdsAAAAEZ0FNQQAAsY58+1GTAAAAIGNIUk0AAHolAACA gwAA+f8AAIDpAAB1MAAA6mAAADqYAAAXb5JfxUYAEdprSURBVHjapP27sm1bsiwIuXu0PuZcO/NU YQgFOlJh/AM/gISIGZ+AioLxCYjIpfMnmKEVP4CAGSDBrZO51xy9RThCtNZHH+uxzzn3biFz77nm GqM/W4vw8Afxf/nfAQYIEDAImAAAAwC4/sfXT/YP77/w+qPrZ1x/hYR9+7Xbd/36r/P9i/yrr7v+ 8U9/a//L+kt8P2T/9AnX53Afnm7/if0T/HT874e9fp23w3+/XPzhkGt9Dr3+Yv/ZunT7XK4rT+7z 8083yLf/FHidpvcn+HYZ7+d7u2j02+Xqb/zxzvh2Ybh+gvsDw7e793Yz903xvp7XifD9eH55j364 er966F4Hievxw08nfr/XP18Q/PQ1P78RPzyiv/sE7afl/Vpcn8b9R/75e+/P2O172dfnd+/O7y8K 9//Zv7+sP19ivk7h9Yf3q/fzzcavfoL3VxI/vcj+xcn+8GnXMsJf3VP/dHfuy85Pa8P7gfvX9/PX Dw9u9+L9F+xfXIlfvqm/++fHpRI/Hv/vVuDXs/TLG3+/hvj9m3Od1Pu5/O4K/OJ4/vLDf3/a+M/5 x7/5KP/lV/g/eDy/fLz5+4f23/Nd/M0z9rtP/nn7K1D/vsvs//B15X/2X+V/0fe+vbbvhUR/oP8L D/Q/cnjk+5Ly+8/zf+jycO3F5K+W/V+9jP7PvJ7jx2rA9VrW6XVBfbsuP57zD5vQdQ/uaw1vJ8f3 U/Wv1vp7FfjDuujf/uarmuQvLoV/2mXp9wX3KmX8fin1q4ej9r/vTc67avHP64tfeyrfCyPcihvj p1XV7z/krgP8q4dgPzS+F8Rdiv3wGP38VPq9/CJ820f9fpvuH/X2sfev++FcrqLt9gD88LE/bma+ PRX+sbT6i+fc/Kmi+uUz8/7E8nebGd+fHL6XAj+tv68Sqt5/fz+Z16f9UFjgh6Lnp1qcfDv4t+vz 19ukf3W5fn6K/Fftln94f/nv2AX96w2P9/WBPxVcv/rAPve+hsbb48Ff3lC+vYbGe60P+P2a+3c1 we9P0/7VDsofr8R1tL+uoflTachf7FvGX12c12v10yG9+q5fHjPeK/hf1oX+y8L337NT/qaR5l9U h/63Pp4/3u63/eLn++WfnrTf7dM/d+w/rVc/3V389DD9GxeBP61Ofv/5Wnt/uTm+7yb3t/YHUAPv G81f1dD88Uj+S0vtvyzW6beX8cfX9pcfyf+yxuCHZ4P/vlPhXy2Z/re6Cfz+XPzvqPv9F73T/Qf+ qcoC4L

Скачать книгу