For Noelle
Prologue: Things You Don’t Know About Heroes
3. A Hero Doesn’t Remember What He Did That Was So Special
4. A Hero Doesn’t Appreciate Good Comedy
7. A Hero Has No Idea What’s Going On
9. A Hero Makes It Up as He Goes Along
10. A Hero Takes No for an Answer
11. A Hero Is Grossed Out by Sticky Floors
12. A Hero Has No Sense of Direction
13. The Villain Feeds the Fish
14. A Hero Starts New Traditions
17. The Villain Just Wants to Have Fun
18. A Hero Has Friends in High Places
19. The Villain Pulls the Strings
25. The Villain Gives Two Thumbs-Down
26. A Hero Tells It Like It Is
27. A Hero Invites the Villain to Drop In
29. A Hero Doesn’t Know Where to Go Next
29 1/2. The Villain Sheds a Tear
A true hero always carries an eyebrow comb.
A true hero smells faintly of melon.
Are any of these things true? It depends on the hero you’re talking about, of course. But you can find all these definitions of “hero”—and many more—in the how-to-be-a-hero instruction manual being written by one Prince Duncan of the kingdom of Sylvaria. Duncan’s original title for his book had been The Hero’s Guide to Saving Your Kingdom, but he decided that was too specific. So he changed it to The Hero’s Guide to Everything in the Whole World. But that had kind of the opposite problem. He eventually settled on The Hero’s Guide to Being a Hero.
Now, you may be asking yourself, Who is this Prince Duncan, and what makes him such an expert on heroes? To which I will respond by saying that perhaps you may have skipped a book on your way to this one. You should probably check on that.
But even if you know who Prince Duncan is, you
