shook his head. “Superman flies.”
“So ours does not?”
“I just think I’d …”
“To be original.”
“If we can. Try to do it without flying, at least. No flying, no strength of a hundred men, no bulletproof skin.”
“Okay,” Joe said. The humming seemed to recede a little. “And some others, they do what?”
“Well, Batman—”
“He flies, like a bat.”
“No, he doesn’t fly.”
“But he is blind.”
“No, he only dresses like a bat. He has no batlike qualities at all. He uses his fists.”
“That sounds dull.”
“Actually, it’s spooky. You’d like it.”
“Maybe another animal.”
“Uh, well, yeah. Okay. A hawk. Hawkman.”
“Hawk, yes, okay. But that one must fly.”
“Yeah, you’re right. Scratch the bird family. The, uh, the Fox. The Shark.”
“A swimming one.”
“Maybe a swimming one. Actually, no, I know a guy works in the Chesler shop, he said they’re already doing a guy who swims. For Timely.”
“A lion?”
“Lion. The Lion. Lionman.”
“He could be strong. He roars very loud.”
“He has a super roar.”
“It strikes fear.”
“It breaks dishes.”
“The bad guys go deaf.”
They laughed. Joe stopped laughing.
“I think we have to be serious,” he said.
“You’re right,” said Sammy. “The Lion, I don’t know. Lions are lazy. How about the Tiger. Tigerman. No, no. Tigers are killers. Shit. Let’s see.”
They began to go through the rolls of the animal kingdom, concentrating naturally on the predators: Catman, Wolfman, the Owl, the Panther, the Black Bear. They considered the primates: the Monkey, Gorillaman, the Gibbon, the Ape, the Mandrill with his multicolored wonder ass that he used to bedazzle opponents.
“Be serious,” Joe chided again.
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry. Look, forget animals. Everybody’s going to be thinking of animals. In two months, I’m telling you, by the time our guy hits the stands, there’s going to be guys running around dressed like every damn animal in the zoo. Birds. Bugs. Underwater guys. And I’ll bet you anything there’s going to be five guys who are really strong, and invulnerable, and can fly.”
“If he goes as fast as the light,” Joe suggested.
“Yeah, I guess it’s good to be fast.”
“Or if he can make a thing burn up. If he can—listen! If he can, you know. Shoot the fire, with his eyes!”
“His eyeballs would melt.”
“Then with his hands. Or, yes, he turns into a fire!”
“Timely’s doing that already, too. They got the fire guy and the water guy.”
“He turns into ice. He makes the ice everywhere.”
“Crushed or cubes?”
“Not good?”
Sammy shook his head. “Ice,” he said. “I don’t see a lot of stories in ice.”
“He turns into electricity?” Joe tried. “He turns into acid?”
“He turns into gravy. He turns into an enormous hat. Look, stop. Stop. Just stop.”
They stopped in the middle of the sidewalk, between Sixth and Seventh avenues, and that was when Sam Clay experienced a moment of global vision, one which he would afterward come to view as the one undeniable brush against the diaphanous, dollar-colored hem of the Angel of New York to be vouchsafed to him in his lifetime.
“This is not the question,” he said. “If he’s like a cat or a spider or a fucking wolverine, if he’s huge, if he’s tiny, if he can shoot flames or ice or death rays or Vat 69, if he turns into fire or water or stone or India rubber. He could be a Martian, he could be a ghost, he could be a god or a demon or a wizard or monster. Okay? It doesn’t matter, because right now, see, at this very moment, we have a bandwagon rolling, I’m telling you. Every little skinny guy like me in New York who believes there’s life on Alpha Centauri and got the shit kicked out of him in school and can smell a dollar is out there right this minute trying to jump onto it, walking around with a pencil in his shirt pocket, saying, ‘He’s like a falcon, no, he’s like a tornado, no, he’s like a goddamned wiener dog.’ Okay?”
“Okay.”
“And no matter what we come up with, and how we dress him, some other character with the same shtick, with the same style of boots and the same little doodad on his chest, is already out there, or is coming out tomorrow, or is going to be knocked off from our guy inside a week and a half.”
Joe listened patiently, awaiting the point of this peroration, but Sammy seemed to have lost the thread. Joe followed his cousin’s gaze along the sidewalk but saw only a pair of what looked to be British sailors lighting their cigarettes off a single shielded match.
“So …” Sammy said. “So …”
“So that is not the question,” Joe prompted.
“That’s what I’m saying.”
“Continue.”
They kept walking.
“How? is not the question. What? is not the question,” Sammy said.
“The question is why.”
“The question is why.”
“Why,” Joe repeated.
“Why is he doing it?”
“Doing what?”
“Dressing up like a monkey or an ice cube or a can of fucking corn.”
“To fight the crime, isn’t it?”
“Well, yes, to fight crime. To fight evil. But that’s all any of these guys are doing. That’s as far as they ever go. They just … you know, it’s the
