Connecticut, and we are losers. Enough to get us to a gas station anyway, where I am forced to flirt with a pimply faced attendant while Maggie takes a nervous leak in the dirty bathroom.
I show the attendant the piece of paper with the address on it. “Oh, sure,” he says. “That street is right around the corner.” Then he starts making shadow figures on the side of the building.
“You’re really good at doing a bunny,” I say.
“I know,” he says. “I’m going to quit this job soon. Going to do shadow figures at kids’ parties.”
“I’m sure you’ll have a huge clientele.” All of a sudden, I’m feeling kind of sentimental toward this sweet, pimply faced guy who wants to do shadow figures at children’s parties. He’s so different from anyone at Castlebury High. Then Maggie comes out and I hustle her into the car, making my hand into a barking dog shape as we peel out of there.
“What was that about?” Maggie asks. “The hand. Since when do you do shadow puppets?”
Ever since you decided to have sex and didn’t tell me, I want to say, but don’t. Instead I say, “I’ve always done them. You just never noticed.”
The address for the doctor’s office is on a residential street with tiny houses crammed right next to one another. When we get to number 46, Maggie and I look at each other like this can’t be right. It’s just another house—a small, blue ranch with a red door. Behind the house we discover another door with a sign next to it that reads, doctor’s office. But now that we’ve finally found this doctor, Maggie is terrified. “I can’t do it,” she says, slumping onto the steering wheel. “I can’t go in.”
I know I should be peeved at her for making me come all the way to East Milton for nothing, but instead, I know exactly how she’s feeling. Wanting to cling to the past, wanting to be the way you always were, too scared to move forward into the future. I mean, who knows what’s in the future? On the other hand, it’s probably too late to go back.
“Look,” I say. “I’ll go inside and check it out. If it’s okay, I’ll come back and get you. If I’m not back in five minutes, call the police.”
Taped to the door is a piece of paper that says, knock loudly. I knock loudly. I knock so loudly, I nearly bruise my knuckles.
The door opens a crack, and a middle-aged woman wearing a nurse’s uniform sticks her head out. “Yes?”
“My friend is here for an appointment.”
“For what?” she says.
“Birth control pills?” I whisper.
“Are you the friend?” she demands.
“No,” I say, taken aback. “My friend is in the car.”
“She’d better come in quickly. Doctor has his hands full today.”
“Okay,” I say, and nod. My head is like one of those bobble things truckers put on their dashboards.
“Either get your ‘friend’ or come in,” the nurse says.
I turn around and wave to Maggie. And for once in her life, she actually gets out of the car.
We go in. We’re in a tiny waiting room that was maybe the breakfast room in the original house. The wallpaper is printed with tea kettles. There are six metal chairs and a fake wooden coffee table with copies of Highlights magazine for kids. A girl about our age is sitting on one of the chairs.
“Doctor will be with you soon,” the nurse says to Maggie, and leaves the room.
We sit down.
I look over at the girl, who is staring at us with hostility. Her hair is cut in a mullet, short in the front and really long in the back, and she’s wearing black eyeliner that swoops up into little wings, like her eyes might fly away from her face. She looks tough and miserable and kind of mean. Actually, she looks like she’d like to beat us up. I try to smile at her, but she glares at me instead and pointedly picks up Highlights magazine. Then she puts it down and says, “What are you looking at?”
I can’t handle another girl fight, so I reply as sweetly as possible, “Nothing.”
“Yeah?” she says. “You’d better be looking at nothing.”
“I’m looking at nothing. I swear.”
And at last, before this can go any further, the door opens and the nurse comes out, escorting another teenage girl by the shoulders. The girl looks quite a bit like her friend, except that she’s crying quietly and wiping the tears from her cheeks with the back of her hands.
“You’re okay, dear,” the nurse says with surprising kindness. “Doctor says it all went fine. No aspirin for the next three days. And no sex for at least two weeks.” The girl nods, weeping. Her friend jumps up and puts her hands on the side of the crying girl’s face. “C’mon, Sal. It’s okay. You’re gonna be okay.” And with one final scowl in our direction, she leads the girl away.
The nurse shakes her head and looks at Maggie. “Doctor will see you now.”
“Maggie,” I whisper. “You don’t have to do this. We can go someplace else—”
But Maggie stands, her face resolute. “I have to do it.”
“That’s right, dear,” the nurse says. “Much better to take precautions. I wish all you girls would take precautions.”
And for some reason, she looks directly at me.
Whoa, lady. Take it easy. I’m still a virgin.
But I may not be for much longer. Maybe I should get some pills too. Just in case.
Ten minutes pass and Maggie comes back out, smiling and looking like a weight has been lifted from her shoulders. She thanks the nurse profusely. In fact, she thanks her so much I have to remind her that we ought to get back to school. Outside, she says, “It was so easy. I didn’t even have to take off my clothes. He just asked me about the last time I got my period.”
“That’s great,” I say, getting in the car. I can’t get the image of the crying girl out of my head. Was she crying because she was sad or relieved? Or just scared? Either way, it was pretty awful. I open the window a crack and light up a cigarette. “Mags,” I say. “How did you hear about that place? Really?”
“Peter told me about it.”
“How did he know?”
“Donna LaDonna told him,” she whispers.
I nod, blowing smoke into the cold air. I am so not ready for all this.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN Hang in There
“Missy!” I say, knocking on the bathroom door. “Missy, I need to get in there.”
Silence.
