back of her husband’s neck as she passed by. ‘I’d better lay the table – darling, did I mention that I saw Kathy today? And she and Don can’t make it to your party?’
‘Dad’s ill,’ Kate said, suddenly. Her voice was louder than she’d meant. The room was suddenly deadly silent.
‘What?’ Venetia turned to look at her daughter. ‘What did you say?’
Kate gripped the side of the sofa. ‘Dad’s really ill. He’s had a kidney transplant. He’s in intensive care.’
‘Oh, my god,’ Oscar said, looking towards his wife. ‘That’s – well, that’s awful.’
‘I’m going home,’ said Kate. ‘On Saturday. To see him.’
‘Back to London?’ her mother said. Her face was white.
‘Yes,’ said Kate, shaking her head very slightly, willing her mother to do the right thing.
‘My god,’ said Oscar. He chewed at a cuticle, nervously. ‘Will he be – OK?’
‘Yes, yes,’ said Kate, wanting to reassure them. ‘I mean – it’s dangerous, but he’s very lucky. I hope so –’ She swallowed, as black dots danced in front of her eyes, and a wave of panic swept over her at the thought of it, her poor darling dad. ‘Yes, Lisa thinks he will be …’
Lisa’s name dropped like a stone between them. It was Venetia who broke the silence. ‘You’re going back Saturday? What time’s your flight?’
‘Nine. In the evening.’
‘Right.’ Venetia put her drink down; she patted her collar bone, her slim white fingers stroking her skin. ‘We’ll drive you. Oh, darling. How long are you going for?’
‘Two weeks, probably,’ said Kate, coming towards her. She wanted her reassurance, for her mother to tell her it was going to be OK, not just Dad, but everything to do with it. ‘I’ll be back for Oscar’s party, of course I will – I’m just going to make sure he’s OK.’
‘Course you do!’ said Venetia. She put her arm around her daughter, squeezed her shoulders. ‘Darling, it’s just – well. It’ll be hard for you. That’s all.’
There was silence again in the room, as Oscar looked from his wife to his stepdaughter. Kate gazed out of the window. The sunset was almost over; it was nearly dark.
‘Yep,’ Kate said. ‘It will be hard.’ It felt strange; it felt alien here, suddenly. She hated that feeling. ‘I had to go back sometime,’ she added, and Oscar nodded and sat back down at the piano. ‘Just wish it wasn’t for this, that’s all.’
Kate had lived with Oscar and Venetia since she came to New York. She was always just about to start looking for an apartment of her own – or a studio, more likely, since renting in New York was still staggeringly expensive, even with the rental money she had from her flat in London. Still, it was ridiculous, being thirty, living with your mother and stepfather and when she’d moved to New York she’d thought it would only be a temporary measure, that she’d be moving out soon. But the right time never seemed to happen.
She and Betty often talked about getting a place together, but Betty’s love life was erratic to say the least, and whenever Kate was at her most desperate to move out, move on, move away from her domestic situation, coincided exactly with Betty and her latest five-star full-on love affair being at its height, whereupon Betty would say ‘… I think we’re getting married … or at least, moving in together … in a couple of months I’d say, so no Kate, sorry … I can’t!’ Then they would break up, awfully, and Betty would be too heartbroken to contemplate anything, and Kate would have to soothe her back to sanity with a variety of cocktails all over the SoHo area, and Betty would gradually perk up and say, ‘We should really look for a place soon!’ and Kate would say, ‘Yes!’ and then, without fail, the next day, Betty would go to a gallery opening, and there she would meet Charles (public schoolboy with nappy fetish) or Johan (Norwegian bike courier) or Elrond (poet with long hair), and the whole apartment thing would go quiet for a while … and Kate would tell herself to wait a little longer.
So the weeks turned into months, and the months turned into years. To her surprise. And still she didn’t move, still she stayed in Riverside Drive.
On Friday evening, Venetia and Oscar gave Kate a farewell supper. It was early, because Kate was going out to meet Betty, and Venetia and Oscar were off to a drinks party at Alvin and Carol DaCosta’s on the third floor. Venetia made quiche, Oscar made a beautiful mesclun and pomegranate seed salad. They drank a toast to Daniel, said bon voyage to Kate.
The last few days seemed to have flown by; how could it be Friday already, Kate wondered? Escaping their ministrations – ‘Remember to take an adaptor.’ ‘Did you collect your drycleaning?’ she excused herself, and shut the door of her bedroom slowly and sank down on the bed, wondering when she should pack.
Now she was alone, she wished, as she had done these past few days, she was going tonight, that she was already there, even though Lisa had told her there was no point in coming over till Daniel was out of intensive care; but still, Kate wished she was there, even if he didn’t realize it. ‘It’ll give you time to sort your stuff out, before you come,’ Lisa had said. Kate supposed she meant it kindly.
The truth was, really, that she didn’t have that much stuff anyway. Clothes, yes, but all her books, her old things from her old life – they were all in storage in the basement of her flat in London, like her old self, trapped in aspic, while the new self gazed longingly into the window of Pottery Barn or Bed Bath and Beyond, picking out covers for imaginary cushions, towels to hang on illusory rails. She’d bought a new duvet and pillow set for her room in the sales this year and she was still excited about it.
Kate shook her head, smiling. She realized now, with a start, that she’d lived for nearly three years with her mother and Oscar – because she enjoyed it. Not just because they were fun – Oscar wanted people to be happy in his presence, and he wanted Venetia to be happy more than anyone else and, therefore, her daughter by extension. The truth was, it was fun, living with them, especially for a girl like Kate who was, as Zoe had once pointed out, old before her time anyway, and more likely to enjoy an evening around the piano singing showtunes than queuing for ages to get into a loud, sweaty, pricey club (as she saw it).
But it was also nice because Kate had got to know her mother again, after years of never really seeing her, years of her name being persona non grata with almost all her father’s friends and family in London. Even Venetia’s sister, Jane, who was much more stiff-lipped than she, and lived a life of rigid, middle-England organization in Marlow, could barely tolerate any mention of her. It was fun, living with her mother again. Especially this happy version of her mother. She didn’t put any pressure on Kate to do anything she didn’t want to – she was just happy to have her living there.
Still, perhaps that’s why it’s a good thing I’m going back, Kate told herself as she climbed up on a stool to take down her big suitcase from on top of the wardrobe. It was dusty – when was the last time she’d used it? She couldn’t remember. Cars honked faintly outside: Kate looked at her watch. It was time to go. She pulled some slouchy boots on over her skinny jeans and ran out into the hall.
‘You look lovely, dear,’
