the open deck; the night was mild enough. But then the stinging gnats had begun to hover and hum, and he had hastened to come inside.
He took off his boots and set them by the edge of the bunk. He folded his jacket and set it reluctantly across the foot of his bed. Then, still clothed, he lay back on top of the thin mattress and blanket. The pillow seemed little more than a larger lump on the bed. It smelled strongly of whoever had last slept in this bunk. He sat up, retrieved his jacket and put it under his head. ‘Only for two days,’ he whispered to himself. He could stand this for two days, couldn’t he? Then the barge would dock in Cassarick, they’d disembark and Alise would, he was confident, find a way to be allowed to study her dragons. And he’d be there, cloaked with her credentials and awaiting his opportunities. They’d stay no longer than six days, ample time as he had already pointed out to her. And then they’d return to Trehaug, board the Paragon, and head back to Bingtown. And his new future.
Home. He missed it badly. Clean sheets and large airy rooms and well-cooked food and freshly-laundered clothes. Was that so much to ask of life? Just that things be clean and pleasant? That one’s table-mates didn’t chew with open mouths, or allow cats to hook bits of meat off the platter? ‘I just like things to be nice,’ he said plaintively to the darkness. And then winced at the memory the words conjured.
He recalled it so clearly. He’d squared his shoulders, swallowed hard and stood his ground. ‘I don’t want to go.’
‘It will make a man of you!’ his father had insisted. ‘And it’s a big opportunity for you, Sedric. It’s a chance not just to prove yourself, but to prove yourself to a man who can advance you in Bingtown. I’ve pulled a few strings to get you this opportunity; half the lads in Bingtown would be willing to jump through hoops to get it. Trader Marley has an opening for a deckhand on his new ship. You won’t be alone; there will be other lads of your age living aboard and learning how to work the decks. The friends you’ll make there will be friends you keep for life! Work hard, bring yourself to the captain’s attention, and it could lead to bigger things for you. Trader Marley’s a wealthy man, in daughters as well as ships and money. If he comes to look favourably on you, well, there’s no telling what future it might bring you.’
‘Tracia Marley’s a very pretty girl,’ his mother added helpfully.
He had felt trapped between the hopeful gazes of both his parents. His numerous sisters had already finished their tea and hurried away from the table. They’d be off to the gardens or the music room or visiting their friends. Yet here he sat, hedged in by his parents’ dreams for him. Dreams he couldn’t share.
‘But I don’t want to work on a boat,’ he said carefully. As his father’s mouth narrowed and his eyes darkened, he added hastily, ‘I don’t mind working. Really, that’s true. But why can’t it be in a shop or an office? Somewhere clean and light, with pleasant people.’ He turned his gaze on his mother and added quickly, ‘I hate the thought of being away from my family for so long. Ships are gone from Bingtown for months, sometimes years. How could I stand not seeing you for that long?’
His mother folded her lips and her eyes grew moist. Such words might win her over. But his father was not impressed. ‘It’s time you were out on your own for a bit, son. Schooling is fine, and I’m proud to have a son who can read and write and figure accurately. If our fortune had fared better these last few years, perhaps that would be enough. But our holdings haven’t prospered, so it’s time for you to go out and find something of your own, something to bring back and add to your inheritance. If you work out on the ship, you’ll be earning a decent wage. You can set something aside for yourself. This is an opportunity for you, Sedric, one that almost any boy in town would jump at.’
He’d gathered his threads of courage. ‘Father, it just doesn’t fit with who I am. I’m sorry. I know that you asked favours to get this opportunity for me. I wish you’d talked to me first. I’ve been on ships and I’ve seen how the crews live aboard. It’s dirty, smelly and wet, with boring food, and half your fellows are coarse, illiterate boors. Deck work demands a strong back and tough hands and little more than that. That’s not who I want to be, a barefoot sailor pulling on a line on someone else’s ship! I do want a future, and I’m willing to work hard. But not like that! I’ll work somewhere clean and decent, among nice people. I just like things to be nice. Is that so wrong of me?’
His father leaned back abruptly in his chair. ‘I don’t understand you,’ he said harshly. ‘I don’t understand you at all. Do you know what it’s taken for me to get this offer for you? Do you know how embarrassed I’ll be if you turn it down? Can’t you appreciate anything I do for you? This is your golden chance, Sedric! And you’re going to turn it down because you “like things to be nice”!’
‘Please don’t shout,’ his mother unwisely interjected. ‘Please, Polon, can’t we be calm and polite about this?’
‘And “nice” too, I suppose!’ His father had snarled. ‘I give up. I’ve tried to do my best by the boy but all he wants to do is wander about the house and read books or go out with his useless idle friends. Well, their fathers have the money to raise useless idle boys, but I don’t! You’re my heir, Sedric, but what you’ll inherit if you don’t take hold soon, I don’t know. Don’t look at the floor! Meet my eyes, son, when I speak to you!’
‘Please, Polon!’ his mother had begged. ‘Sedric just isn’t ready for this yet. He’s right, you know. You should have discussed this with him before you sought it for him. You didn’t even speak of it to me!’
‘Because opportunities such as this don’t wait! They come along, and the man who seizes it is the man who finds a future in it. But it won’t be Sedric, will it? Oh, no. Because he’s not ready, and it’s not “nice” enough for him. So, very well. You keep him at home here with you. You’ve ruined the boy with your indulgence of him. Ruined him!’
Sedric shifted in the narrow bunk, pushing the uncomfortable memory away. It came back in the form of a new question. Did his father still think he was ‘ruined’? He knew that his sire had felt chagrin when Sedric announced he had taken a position as Hest Finbok’s secretary. Even his mother, far more patient and tolerant of Sedric’s ways than his father was, had winced at the idea of him being employed in such a position. ‘It’s just not something that you expect the son of a Trader to do, even a younger son. I know that it’s an upward path, and even your father has said that perhaps you’ll make good connections accompanying Hest on his trading trips. But, don’t you know, it just seems as if you could have started your career a bit higher in life than as a secretary.’
‘Hest treats me well, Mother. And he pays me well, too.’
‘And I hope you are setting money aside from it. For as handsome as Hest Finbok is and as wealthy as his family is, he has a reputation for being fickle in his pursuits. Don’t count on him to be someone you can depend on for the rest of your life, Sedric.’
In the dark of the deckhouse, he groaned softly as he recalled her words. At the time they had seemed like her usual nattering worry for him. Now they seemed like a prophecy. Had he been a fool to let himself depend on Hest so deeply? His hand crept up and touched the small locket he wore around his neck. In the darkness, his finger caressed the single word engraved on its case. Always. Had ‘always’ come to an end for him?
He shifted in his bunk, but it was uniformly hard. Sleep would not come to him, only memories and worries. He was being foolish, of course. This was only a minor tiff with Hest. He and Hest had had quarrels before, and lived to laugh about them later. There had been that business in the Chalcedean town, where Hest, in a towering rage, had left Sedric behind at the inn and Sedric had had to dash through the streets to reach the ship before it sailed. He’d only ever struck Sedric
