nodded and tried to smile. ‘A one-eyed security guard?’
Four years ago Birch had quit the Sheriff’s Department and started his own security company. Thanks to an engaging personality and some family connections to Irvine high-tech companies, his Birch Security Solutions had billed $1.15 million in its first year, and tripled that number since. They did some of everything: residential and industrial security, patent and copyright protection, patrol, installations, and private investigations.
Birch chuckled. ‘I can do better than that, Matt.’
‘Divorce work?’
‘We’ve got some interesting industrial espionage going down in Irvine. And some jerk-off at the med school selling cadaver parts, but the university can’t afford the scandal of busting him. We’re going to…dissuade him from further business.’
‘No cadaver parts, Dan.’
‘I understand. I shouldn’t have said that. What can I do to help? I’m trying here.’
‘Let me make you a drink. It’s only the Von’s brand. I’m trying to reduce my dependence on foreign vodka.’
They drank late into the night, Stromsoe outpacing his friend roughly two to one. He laid off the painkiller as long as he could but by midnight the pins in his legs were killing him so he took more pills.
‘One for the road?’ he asked Birch.
‘No.’
Birch came over and knelt next to Stromsoe. ‘I didn’t know it was this bad.’
‘It’s temporary. Don’t worry.’
‘I’m so fucking sorry, Matt.’
‘I’ll get there,’ he said, wherever there was.
‘Tavarez is an animal,’ said Birch. ‘And Ofelia’s death wasn’t our fault.’
‘No,’ said Stromsoe. ‘Not our fault at all.’
A long silence lowered over them during which Stromsoe did not hear the waves breaking nearby. ‘Is there any way to get to him?’ he asked.
Birch’s eyes tracked behind his heavy brows. ‘Mike? In Orange County Jail? You might be able to bring some annoyance his way - get his privileges and exercise time cut back. You’d need to get a deputy or two on your side.’
‘I had something more substantial in mind.’
‘Such as what?’
‘Five minutes alone with him.’
Birch stood, shaking his head. ‘The visitation setup is all wrong for that. Besides, the only one who can grant you a visit is Tavarez.’
Stromsoe thought about five minutes with El Jefe.
‘Forget it, Matt. You kill him, you may as well just move right into his cell, put on his jumpsuit.’
When Birch had gone Stromsoe limped through the house with a big vodka in hand. He walked with his head down, focusing on the ice in his drink, and when he came into a room he lifted his head and looked around but then would have to close his eyes against the memories. Every cubic inch of space. Every object. Every molecule of every object, tied to Hallie and Billy. Their things. Their lives. Their life. It was impossible to endure.
He stood swaying in the courtyard for a moment, watching the sliver of moon slip down then rise back into place over and over.
His cell phone pulsed against his hip and Stromsoe slid it off, dropped it, and then knelt and picked it up.
‘The bomb was for you,’ said Tavarez. ‘God put them there for reasons we don’t understand.’
‘You blew up a woman and a little boy.’
‘But you made it possible.’
‘You’ll burn in hell for what you did.’
‘Hell would be better than this,’ said Tavarez. ‘Now you understand how bad it is, don’t you? Living without the ones you love?’
‘If they ever let you out, I’ll find and kill you,’ said Stromsoe.
‘Life can be worse than death,’ said Tavarez. ‘So I’m going to let you live. Live first in the smell of their blood. Then live without them, month after month and year after year. Until you begin to forget them, until your memory is weak and uncertain. Because you know, Matt, wives and lovers and even children can be forgotten. They must be forgotten. But an enemy can live in your heart forever. The more spectacular his crime against you, the more durable your enemy becomes in your heart. Hate is stronger than love. I tried to kill you but I’m much happier that I didn’t. Tell me, are you blinded by fury?’
‘Inspired by it.’
‘Pray to your God for vengeance, to the one who ignores you. And welcome to prison. The bars here keep me from freedom. The bars around your heart will do the same to you.’
With a dry little chuckle, Tavarez clicked off.
Stromsoe hurled his drink against the side of his house. He turned and lurched toward the garage. He pushed through the construction site tape, got tangled and kicked his way out as his legs burned with pain. He pulled open the garage door and flipped on the light.
Here it was, his personal Ground Zero, the heart of his loss.
He forced himself to stand where they had been standing. The concrete floor was thick with drywall dust and he swept aside some of it with his foot. The floor had been bleached. He looked at the wall in front of him – new drywall. And the wall to his left – new drywall too. He looked up at the new framing that was being roofed with new plywood and new paper and new mastic and new tiles. He didn’t see a drop of what he was dreading to find. Not one tiny trace. New was good.
He walked slowly around the Ford to the far corner of the garage. Here were some cabinets he had built many years ago. The bottom cabinet was long and deep and fitted with duckboards. The slats were now stained from years of two-cycle oil spills and gas-can seepages, leaking weed eaters and blowers and chain saws.
Stromsoe bent over and rocked the red plastic gas can. It sloshed, heavy with fuel. He hefted it out, twisted open the cap, and pulled out the retractable spigot. The fumes found his nose.
The smell of escape, he thought.
He backed the Taurus into the driveway, set the brake, and killed the engine. Back in the garage he poured gasoline where Hallie and Billy had last breathed, then across the cement floor, out the door and across the bricks of the little courtyard to the back porch, then through the slider and into the dining room, kitchen, living room, the bedrooms.
He set the can down by the front door, got a plastic bag from under the sink, and slid most of Hallie’s jewelry into it. He found a pack of matches in the coins-and-keys drawer of his dresser. Then, in Billy’s room, he added three of his son’s favorite stuffed bears to the bag.
He went back to the
