wasn’t buying it. “Why, you sneaky, slimy bastard. Bob the Saint …”
Bob opened his eyes wide and tried to make a blank face. He wasn’t sure it was working and when John raised his brows upward Bob felt his stomach tug downward. “What? It was Sylvie,” he protested.
John shook his head. “Maybe I’m just a general practitioner, but
I’m not stupid. You, Bob? Come on. You’re no player. What the hell is going on?”
“Nothing,” Bob said and sounded to himself like one of the twins when they were eight years old. He looked at John’s doubting face. “Okay,” he admitted. “Something. But nothing important.” He bit his lip. “I don’t want to hurt Sylvie. You don’t either, do you?”
John looked him in the eyes. “I won’t tell, if that’s what you’re asking, but I won’t lie. She’s my friend too. She was my girlfriend before she even met You.”
“I know. I know. You remind me of that all the time. But this is … just a temporary thing.”
“So? Temporary but indefensible.”
Bob, trapped, knew he had no defense. “Well, Phil did it,” he said, sounding like one of the twins when they were ten.
“Great response,” John snorted. “Let’s not forget that Phil is a delusional penis with a man attached. And he wasn’t married to a Sylvie.”
Bob looked away, ashamed. John’s wife, Nora, had died almost three years ago, and if their marriage hadn’t been perfect then, it was now, enshrined in John’s memory. Since then John had thrown himself into his practice and into his avocation—Little League coach and professional widower—but in Bob’s opinion, he took a certain amount of pleasure in wallowing in his bereavement. Plus, there were always so many Shaker Heights women dropping off casseroles and inviting him to be the extra man at their dinner parties that his life wasn’t anything close to the living hell he depicted it as.
But mine could be, Bob thought. It could if I lost Sylvie. And he had been meaning to end it with the girl. He just didn’t know how. He had never had an affair before. Best to come clean. “You’re right. You caught me,” he admitted. “I don’t know what I’m doing. One day I’m a nice guy, the next I’m a Kennedy husband.” He paused. John looked skeptical, as if he doubted Bob’s sincerity. “Wait. I’m worse. I’m dead dog meat.” John raised his brows. “No,” he corrected himself. “I’m dead dog meat with maggots.” John nodded. “Can we talk about this while you drive me to my house?” Bob asked. “I don’t deserve to sit behind the wheel of Beautiful Baby.”
“Vehicular morality wasn’t the first concern I had.”
“Please. Will you drive me?”
“No problem. I can’t get enough of that dead dog meat smell in my car.”
They got into John’s three-year-old sedan, which Bob had sold him after using it as a showroom model. He’d given John a real deal on it. They drove off the lot. It was time for Bob to recoup a little. After all, John was only a doctor, not a judge.
“Don’t tell me you never did it. With all those women patients! With all those females who worship you. Swear on Nora’s memory that you didn’t.”
“Not with a patient. Never.” John maneuvered the car into the passing lane.
“Ah, With someone impatient! Come on. Come clean. You were human too!”
John hesitated. “Only once,” he admitted.
“I knew it! See. No one is perfect.”
“Okay. Okay. But I was loaded. No excuse. I was on a business trip and it was with a pharmacologist, not with a patient. I regretted it immediately.”
“Afterward, that’s easy. I always regret it afterward too.”
“Yeah, but it was a decade ago. To this day I regret it. Nora’s dead almost four years and I still feel really bad about it.” Bob patted John on the shoulder. John came out of his reverie. “Just look at your brother-in-law.”
“God. Do I have to?”
“I mean, look how he ruined his life. His ex-wife hates him, his children are turned against him. And he can’t afford a meat loaf sandwich.”
“But he had an excuse: he was married to Rosalie.”
“What does that mean?”
Bob gave John a look. “Rosalie pushed him into infidelity. Me, I just slipped. I never meant for this to happen,” Bob admitted. “This girl was just there, all pink and naked.”
“She was pink and naked right when you met her?”
“Well, no. But, I could tell she wanted to be…. Hey. Come on. You think I want to lie to my wife?”
John’s voice finally became sympathetic. “No, buddy, I don’t.”
“In its way, my position is its own kind of hell,” Bob said mournfully.
John nodded. “I’ve been there.” Then, for a moment, John became distracted by a racing green 530i that passed them on the right. “Nice model,” he commented.
“Forget it,” Bob told him dismissively. “It’s not for you. A vinyl interior. If you’re going to trade up, trade up for the best.” John nodded his agreement. He pulled back into the right lane. There was a truck ahead of them. John should have passed it too. Bob hated sitting in the passenger’s seat.
“You know, Sylvie is too good to risk losing.”
“I know.” Bob sighed gustily. “Let’s face it. Men are pigs.”
“The worst form of human life,” John agreed.
“Slime….” Bob figured he’d change the subject while he could. “So, you seeing anyone?”
John shook his head. “You know I haven’t been able to see anyone since Nora passed away…. Maybe it’s the guilt over that … episode.” He reflected for a minute, his eyes on the road. “This month we would be celebrating our twentieth anniversary. I ignored her more than I should have when we were married. During med school, and my internship, and then building my practice. Jesus, Men are stupid.”
“Yeah,” Bob agreed. “But women are crazy.” John stopped for an amber light that Bob would have slid through. God, he was a cautious driver. Cautious about everything, in fact. Bob looked over at his pal, who now seemed very depressed. “You know, I didn’t realize your anniversary … well … that has to be hard for you.”
John nodded. “It’s not easy. A guilty conscience is never easy to live with.” He gave Bob a look. “Know what I mean?”
The light changed. John just sat there staring ahead at nothing, or something only he saw, some flashback from an earlier time. Bob pointed to the green light and John blinked, then accelerated. “Look,
I know I should stop,” Bob admitted. “And I’m
