work all day on me ’ands and knees keepin’ dis flat spick and span.”
She does no such thing, thought Zoe. The flat is an absolute tip!
“And den the nasty little fing comes along and does its dirty business everywhere!” continued Sheila. “And while I am on the subject, your aim in de bog could be better!”
“Sorry.”
“Wot do ya do? Put a sprinkler on de end of it?”
“Keep your voice down, woman!”
The little girl was once again finding out the hard way that secretly listening to your parents talk could be a very dangerous game. You always ended up hearing things you wished you never had. Besides, Gingernut didn’t do his dirty business everywhere. Zoe always made sure she picked up any rogue droppings from his secret runs around her room with some loo paper and flushed them safely down the toilet.
“I’ll take the cage down the pawn shop then,” said Dad. “I might get a few quid for it.”
“I will take it down de pawn shop,” said his wife aggressively. “You’ll just spend the money down de pub.”
“But—”
“Now put de nasty little fing in de bin.”
“I promised Zoe I would give him a proper burial in the park. She loved Gingernut. Taught him tricks and everything.”
“Dey were pathetic. PATHETIC! A breakdancin’ ’amster?! Absolute rubbish!”
“That’s not fair!”
“And you’re not going out again tonight. I don’t trust ya. You’ll be back down de pub.”
“It’s shut now.”
“Knowing you, you’ll just wait outside until it opens tomorrow morning… Now come on, give it ’ere!”
Zoe heard the pedal bin open with the stamp of her stepmother’s chubby foot and the faint sound of a thud.
With tears streaming down her face, Zoe lay down in bed, and covered herself with her duvet. She turned to her right side. In the half-light she stared at the cage as she did every night.
It was agonising to see it empty. The little girl closed her eyes but couldn’t sleep. Her heart was aching, her brain was spinning. She was sad, she was angry, she was sad, she was angry, she was sad. She turned on to her left side. Maybe it would be easier to sleep facing the grimy wall rather than staring at the empty cage. She closed her eyes again, but all she could think about was Gingernut.
Not that it was easy to think, what with the noise coming from the neighbouring flat. Zoe didn’t know who lived there – people in the tower block weren’t exactly close – but most evenings she heard shouting. It seemed like a man screaming at his daughter, who would often cry, and Zoe felt sorry for her, whoever she was. However bad Zoe thought her life was, this girl’s sounded worse.
But Zoe blocked out the shouting, and soon fell asleep, dreaming of Gingernut, breakdancing in heaven…
He appeared to be digging with his hands.
He turned around quickly, as if in shock. “Oh, hello, my love…”
“What are you doing?” said Zoe. She leaned over him, to see what he was up to, and saw that the little package containing Gingernut was laid on the ground, next to a small mound of earth.
“Don’t tell your mum…”
“Stepmum!”
“Don’t tell your stepmum, but I fished the little fella out of the bin…”
“Oh, Dad!”
“Sheila’s still asleep, snoring away. I don’t think she heard anything. Gingernut meant so much to you and I just wanted to give him, you know, a proper burial.”
Zoe smiled for a moment, but somehow she found herself crying too.
“Oh, Dad, thank you so much…”
“No word of this to her though, or she’ll murder me.”
“Of course not.”
Zoe knelt down beside him, picked up the little package and lowered Gingernut into the small hole her father had dug.
“I even got one of these for a headstone. One of the old lolly sticks from the factory.”
Zoe took out her chewed biro from her pocket, and scribbled ‘Gingernut’ on the stick, though there wasn’t really room for the ‘t’, so it just read:
GINGERNU
Dad filled in the hole, and they stood back and looked at the little grave.
“Thanks, Dad. You are the best…”
Now Dad was crying.
“What’s the matter?” asked Zoe.
“I am not the best. I am so sorry, Zoe. But I will get another job one day. I know I will…”
“Dad, a job doesn’t matter. I just want you to be happy.”
“I don’t want you to see me like this…”
Dad started walking away. Zoe pulled on his arm, but he shook it out of her grasp, and walked off back to the tower block.
“Come and meet me at the school gates later, Dad. We can go to the park, and you can put me on your shoulders. I used to love that. It don’t cost a thing.”
“Sorry, I’ll be in the pub. Have a good day at school,” he shouted, without looking back. He was hiding his sadness from his daughter, like he always did.
Zoe could feel her stomach screaming in hunger. There had been no dinner last night as Sheila had spent all the benefit money on fags, and there was no food in the house. Zoe hadn’t eaten for a very long time. So she stopped off at Raj’s Newsagent.
All the kids from school went to his shop before or after school. As Zoe never received pocket money, she would
