Skulduggery Pleasant: Books 4 - 6. Derek Landy
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Gordon looked around. “I’m always in this room. There are no windows in here.” He looked back at her. “What’s wrong? You look troubled. Are you feeling OK?”
“I’m fine. I’ve just got another headache.”
“Another…?”
“They’ve been popping up over the past day or so. It’s nothing. I have this thing, just on the edge of my memory, you know that feeling? Every time I reach for it, it scatters.”
“I remember the sensation. Highly annoying.”
“Highly. But that’s not why I’m here. What do you know about Remnants?”
“Lots,” he said. “Fetch me my notebook from my desk. The big one.”
Valkyrie went to the study and opened the desk. Masses of notebooks. She selected the biggest one.
“I’d like to go for a walk,” Gordon announced when she arrived back. “I haven’t gone for a walk since…well, since I was alive really. I’ve almost forgotten what the outside looks like. Is it still green?”
“It really depends where you are. Can you, like, actually go for a walk?”
“Not on my own, but if you put the Echo Stone in your pocket, I can walk beside you. It’ll be fun. Do you remember the walks we used to take?”
“Not especially.”
“I can’t either,” he admitted. “I wasn’t really a walker when I was alive, was I? I was more of a sitter.” He smiled wistfully. “I did love to sit.”
“I remember that.”
“So? Can we go for a walk? Just around here. Not too far, I promise.”
“I…I suppose we could. It can’t be for long though – we can only spend a few minutes here.”
“We? Someone’s downstairs?”
“Yeah, Fletcher.”
“Oh! The mysterious Fletcher Renn!”
Valkyrie narrowed her eyes. “Don’t say it like that.”
“Like what?”
“Like you’re teasing me.”
Gordon laughed. “If you take me for a walk, I promise I won’t tease you. He’s a Teleporter, isn’t he? Send him away for ten minutes. Or let’s just sneak out. I haven’t sneaked out of a window in over thirty years!”
“I sneak out every day…OK, but just a short walk and I’m reading as we go.”
Her uncle grinned. “Perfect.”
They approached the wood on the east side of the house so Fletcher wouldn’t see them. It was a surprisingly lovely morning, the rain having taken a break for the day, and warm enough for Valkyrie to have her coat draped over her arm.
“Towards the middle somewhere,” Gordon said, peering over her shoulder as she flicked through the notebook. “There! The next few pages contain everything I’ve ever heard about the Remnants. Some of it is anecdotal, some pure, hard fact. There’s more relevant information in those few pages than in any book you’re ever likely to read.”
“I knew you’d have something useful.”
He went back to looking around as they strolled, and took a huge breath and expelled it.
“I don’t actually breathe,” he said happily, “but it’s a nice habit to have.”
“I’ve always thought so,” she agreed, then glanced back at the footsteps in the lawn, at the blades of grass that were slowly springing back into shape. There were only her footsteps though. To the blades of grass and the world around then, Gordon was something less than even a ghost.
He started naming the birds they heard in the trees, and she was pretty sure the last four or five were names he’d completely made up. Valkyrie didn’t mention it though.
“What are you looking for?” he asked absently.
“There’s a Remnant inside Kenspeckle Grouse and we want to get it out.”
“Ah. You’ll need China Sorrows and her symbols, and a few other bits and pieces. How long has it been inside him? If it’s possessed him for more than four days, I’m afraid that means it has permanently grafted itself to its host. It couldn’t leave even if it wanted to.”
“It hasn’t been four days.”
“Well then, you should be fine. It’s all in those notes.” He looked up. “Do you hear that birdsong, the particularly sweet one? That’s a Wallowing Twite, if I’m not mistaken.”
“Is there anything you don’t know, Gordon?” Valkyrie asked as she flicked through.
“Nothing of any importance.”
She sighed. “I can see why you and Skulduggery got along so well.”
“Planet-sized egos do tend to form an orbit around each other. So what does that make you, I wonder?”
“I have no ego.”
“Then you’d probably be a moon.”
“I’m not a moon.”
“Maybe even a gaseous giant.”
“And I’m not gaseous. I’m the sun, how about that? The pair of you can orbit around me for a change.” She closed the notebook. “Thanks for this, Gordon. I’ll come back when I actually have time for a chat, OK?”
“I’ll look forward to it. Take care of yourself, Niece Number One.”
“Always do.”
The Remnant inside him wasn’t bothering to hide any more. Dark veins spread beneath Kenspeckle’s suddenly pale skin, turning his lips black and his gums grey.
“You’ll never get him,” Kenspeckle said in a voice that was not his own. “He’s mine now and I’m not giving him back.”
Skulduggery didn’t answer. Kenspeckle’s eyes flickered to Valkyrie and he leered at her. Spittle flecked his chin.
“You’ll