Skulduggery Pleasant: Books 7 - 9. Derek Landy

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Skulduggery Pleasant: Books 7 - 9 - Derek Landy

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Ravel. “That was a little below the belt, don’t you think?”

      “None of you have the required experience or wisdom to do what is expected of you. I know you’ll find it hard to believe, but we didn’t come here to take control. We came here to help.”

      “And now you want to take control anyway.”

      “You have proven yourselves incompetent. And what are you doing now? You’re holding a Grand Mage at gunpoint?”

      “Technically, Skulduggery is only holding a Grand Mage’s bodyguard at gunpoint. Which isn’t nearly as bad.”

      “You all seem to be forgetting that I have thirty-eight mages loyal to the Supreme Council in this country.”

      “And you seem to be under the illusion that we find that intimidating.”

      “If I go missing—”

      “Missing?” Ravel said. “Who said anything about going missing? No, no. You’re just going to be in a really long and really important meeting, that’s all.”

      “Don’t be a fool,” said Strom. “You can’t win here, Ravel. There are more of us than there are of you. And the moment our mages get wind of what’s going on down here, the rest of the Supreme Council will descend on you like nothing you’ve ever seen.”

      “Quintin, Quintin, Quintin... you make it sound like we’re going to war. This isn’t war. This is an argument. And like all arguments between grown-ups, we keep it away from the kiddies. You’ve got thirty-eight mages in the country? Ghastly, how many cells do we have?”

      “If we double up we’ll manage.”

      “Don’t make this any worse for yourselves,” said Strom. “An attack on any one of our mages will be considered an act of war.”

      “There’s that word again,” said Ravel.

      “This is insanity. Erskine, think about what you’re doing.”

      “What we’re doing, Quintin, is allowing our people to do their jobs.”

      “This is kidnapping.”

      “Don’t be so dramatic. We’re just going to keep you separated from your people for as long as we need to resolve the current crisis. Skulduggery and Valkyrie are on the case. When have they ever let us down?”

      Ravel turned to them, gave them a smile. “You’d better not let us down.”

      Skulduggery inclined his head slightly, and Valkyrie went with him as he walked away.

      “Holy cow,” Valkyrie whispered when they were around the corner.

      “Holy cow indeed.”

      Before Kitana and her friends had made it their temporary home, this had been a perfectly nice house. But now there were holes blown – and punched – through walls. Valkyrie did not envy the family who were going to return to this mess. Ordinarily there would have been a clean-up crew hard at work already, but with everything that had been going on they just couldn’t afford to bother with the little stuff.

      “No sign of where they moved on to,” said Skulduggery. “Ghastly’s going to try and get a little more out of our prisoner, but I don’t like his chances. I think if Sean had anything else to tell us, he’d have told us.”

      “Are you worried?”

      “Do I look worried?”

      “You never look worried.”

      “That doesn’t mean I’m not.”

      “Are you worried about putting Quintin Strom in shackles?”

      “Oh,” he said, “that. Hmm. I don’t know. It’s definitely a situation we have found ourselves in.”

      “Could it lead to war?”

      “Possibly.”

      “But would they really go to war? I mean, war’s a pretty big deal. It’s huge, like. It’s war.”

      “War is war,” Skulduggery admitted. “This is very true.”

      “Would they really go to war over something so small as pulling a gun on a Grand Mage and imprisoning him and all of his bodyguards and sorcerers and stuff? It’s not like we killed him or anything. This isn’t Franz Ferdinand we’re talking about.”

      “Hopefully, they’ll see the funny side of it.”

      “There’s a funny side?”

      “I don’t know. I’m hoping they’ll see it and point it out to us.”

      “How long do you think we’ll have before Strom’s people start to get suspicious?”

      “Ravel should be able to bluff his way through a few hours,” Skulduggery said, “so we’ll have to make the most of it. Do you realise that you’re holding your arm?”

      Valkyrie looked down, suddenly aware of the dull throbbing. “Uh-oh.”

      Skulduggery grabbed her shoulder and took out his phone. Valkyrie started texting. The room flickered.

      “Ghastly,” Skulduggery said, “we’re about to shunt. We’ll be in touch.” He hung up.

      Valkyrie’s thumb danced over her phone. Mum, phone battery almost dead! Staying at Hannah’s for extra studying and pizza!! Be home tomorrow xx

      The throb in her arm was making her hand shake, but she pressed SEND and held her breath, waiting for the message to deliver.

      And then the house vanished and they were outside and there was sunlight streaming through the trees. Skulduggery looked at her.

      “Did it go through?”

      She checked her phone, and nodded, breathing in relief. Even as she’d been writing it, she wondered if she was using too many exclamation marks, but she was glad she left them in. Nothing says “all is good with the world” like exclamation marks, after all.

      “So,” Skulduggery said, “this is the alternate reality, then.”

      Valkyrie watched him as he looked around. God, she was glad he was here.

      “Right,” he said, “we need to get past the wall and into the City. We can’t fly in – they’ll have guards posted and all kinds of security systems, and we just don’t have the time to conduct reconnaissance. We’re going to need help. We need the Resistance.”

      “If any of them are left,” she said. “The last time I saw them there was a whole lot of dying going on.”

      “Then the best place to start looking would be the field where you last saw them.” He wrapped an arm round her waist, and they lifted off the ground. “You’ll have to direct me.”

      “You realise,” Valkyrie

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