a living, if we were dating, if he had a girlfriend, if he liked blondes, and so on and so forth. It was endless, exhausting, and I think it bothered me that yet another bimbo was just tripping over herself to fall on him. Although I knew my feelings for Rule were my burden to bear alone, I wasn’t about to offer up my slutty coworker on a platter. So I just kept grunting responses and evading all the personal questions, which unfortunately didn’t stop her from rambling about how good-looking he was.
“I mean I don’t normally go for guys with all those tattoos and piercings like that, but oh my God, those eyes! Have you ever seen anything like them? They’re like minty toothpaste or something, so pretty! And his body, I bet he works out. I mean, I normally like a guy with a six-pack, but that tall, lean thing totally works with his look. What kind of girls does he normally go for? Are you sure he doesn’t have a girlfriend? Seriously, Shaw, I just want to lick that hoop he has on the side of his lip, like, so freaking bad. I can’t believe you’ve been friends with someone that sexy and haven’t gotten a piece. That’s, like, against nature.”
I hadn’t gotten a piece of anyone, ever, not that she needed to know that. Guys had tried and I had been tempted, but every time I was close to sealing the deal my brain short-circuited and reminded me that they weren’t who I really wanted and I shut down like a light going off. I looked up at her and narrowed my eyes.
“Lore, I’m trying to do my cash-out, can this wait?”
“Just give me his number,” she insisted.
I was close to losing it and ready to shove the pile of ones down her throat. Ayden must have sensed the storm brewing, because she settled in the seat next to me and leveled a dark look at the blonde. There was just something about Ayden that made people pay attention to her; whatever it was, I loved her for it.
“Lore, give the girl a break. It’s not like they’re besties. If you wanted to ask him out you should’ve done it while he was here.”
She made a face that probably made guys buy her things, but made me want to roll my eyes. “I would’ve but he was too busy checking out Shaw’s ass—that’s why I asked what was going on between them. I mean, he didn’t even give you a hug or anything when he left, but you looked at each other like you were about to start making out any second.”
Startled, I looked up at Ayden. Since when did Rule, who normally ignored me or pretended I didn’t exist, start checking anything on me out? She lifted her eyebrow.
“If Shaw runs into him anytime in the near future I’m sure she’ll pass it along that you want his number or she can just give him yours if he’s interested. Now, let’s talk about something really important: What do you want to do for your birthday? It’s only two weeks away.”
I groaned and gave up on trying to get an accurate count. Instead I just handed the money to Ayden and started sorting and stapling the credit card slips, which took far less brainpower. I hated my birthday. Normally, it was a fight between which parent and stepparent I was going to spend an awkward dinner with—when they bothered to remember, that is. Last year I just got a card from Dad with a check for a grand in it and a call from my mother with a promise of something when she found time—there was never time. Ayden had ended up taking me for sushi and to see some stupid romantic comedy, and the day passed, lackluster and unremarkable. Even the Archers tended to be low-key on my birthday. I think it reminded them that another year had passed and that Remy was still gone. Rome always sent me something from whatever part of the world he was in and, to date, his were always my favorite gifts. I guess since I was turning twenty this year I should try to make a big deal about it; I just didn’t want to.
“Why don’t we go dancing?” Loren suggested, and I looked at her like she had grown a third head. I didn’t really socialize with the girls from work, but not because I didn’t like them. Some of them were really sweet, and most of them were just like me and Ayden—struggling to pay bills and balance college, but they were usually also into drinking, partying, meeting guys, going out, and doing all the things that just didn’t register for me. Granted, I needed the actual income far less, but it gave me peace of mind every time either of my parents tried to use the fact they paid the bills for me as leverage to get me to do something they wanted. I didn’t need any more people in the world thinking I was fundamentally broken, so I just avoided those kinds of social interactions.
“Uh … I don’t dance.”
Ayden scowled at the blonde. “Plus, who invited you?”
She blinked heavily lashed eyes and wrinkled her nose. “I thought maybe since it’s your birthday Mr. Tall, Dark, and Tattooed would be around. I’m telling you ladies, I’m in stage-four lust and it can only be cured by Rule.”
Ayden and I shared a look and I went back to my stapling. “No, my birthday isn’t a big deal so Rule won’t be around. I like to keep it low-key.”
“You mean boring.”
I wasn’t friends with Loren; in fact I wasn’t even particularly fond of her, so I was about to tell her to stick it where the sun didn’t shine—which was pretty out of character for me—but Ayden just kept on talking like Loren wasn’t even there.
“Come on, Shaw, let’s do something fun. You know your parents are just going to stress you out, and you only turn twenty once. It needs to be fun and exciting.” She had a glimmer in her amber eyes and I knew she was cooking something up that I would be hard-pressed to talk her out of. I shoved the piles of paper into the drop bag and took the money Ayden handed me and did my tally. We always made good money, but for whatever reason today had been very profitable. I pulled my hair out of the ties and raked my nails across my scalp.
“Let’s talk about it later, okay? I just want to find Lou to walk us out, in case Gabe decided to show back up, and head home.”
She hooked her arm through mine and we made our way to the main entrance. “Do you think he would have the nerve to do that? I mean, Rule and his friends seemed pretty intent on getting the point across that he back off and Lou told him to scram or he was gonna kill him.”
“I don’t know, Ayd. He’s acting crazy. I never would have thought he would show up here and try to be all grabby and in my face. I don’t know what’s going on anymore. I mean, it isn’t like we had some great romance and I left him heartbroken or anything. We were lukewarm on our best days. Rule thinks he’s embarrassed that I dumped him, plain and simple.”
“He’s probably right.”
I made a face as Lou escorted us to my car. We said good-bye and headed home. I was trying so hard to make decisions that were best for everyone: I wanted Rule to have the love and support of his family, I wanted Margot to get help and stop vilifying her son, I wanted Gabe to get over his deal and just move on, and mostly I wanted to stop feeling so responsible for it all.
The next week went by in a blur. I had two tests, picked up an extra shift at work, and was doing a very complicated game of Dodge-the-Ex. Gabe also went to DU and even though he was prelaw and typically on the other end of campus, he seemed to be popping up around every corner and called me at least twice a day. I was considering getting a new number, but it seemed like such a hassle that I just sent his calls to voice mail and got really good at pretending I didn’t see him.
Rome called and said Margot wasn’t doing any better. She was flat-out refusing to go see a grief counselor and was now blaming Rule for the fact that I refused to come to Brookside on the weekends. According to Rome she was insisting Rule had somehow brainwashed me and turned me against her. He wasn’t comfortable leaving her alone just yet even though Rule was harassing
