a good time,’ Rachel said, barely looking up. Though momentarily taken aback, Cat quickly reminded herself where she was and why she was there and thus held her hands up in affable surrender, telling Rachel she’d give her a call.
‘Cheers,’ said Rachel, who was hot and tired, ‘that’d be great.’
There’s the Megapac lot. Where’s Luca? There’s Hunter.
‘Hullo, Hunter,’ says Cat, ‘great ride.’
‘Hey, thanks,’ says Hunter, vaguely recognizing her.
‘Yo, Catriono!’
Luca!
‘It’s Cat,’ she says, delighted none the less. ‘How are you?’
‘I’m good,’ he says, looking very tired, his eyes a little bloodshot, their sparkle somewhat dulled, his blond curls slightly lank, ‘thanks. Cat.’ He approaches her, his hard shoes giving his walk a Chaplinesque gait, and at once she wants to gently put her arms around him, to lead him to a chair, sit him down and put his brave legs up. She notices a fleck of dried spittle on the corner of his mouth, grime on his calves; the paradox of the impressive musculature of his legs against the fragility of his gait which six hours of racing have caused.
He needs his soigneur. Or his doctor. It always gets me – on his bike, a rider looks so strong. Off it he appears almost vulnerable.
‘Have you a quote for me?’ Cat asks.
‘Sure,’ says Luca, hands on slim hips. ‘Where you staying, babe?’
‘Plouay,’ Cat replies.
‘You come round the hotel, to my room, I’ll give you soundbites,’ Luca says, his accent making her smile more than any ulterior motive detectable.
‘That would be great,’ Cat enthuses, ‘I’ll see you later.’
‘Ciao, bambina,’ Luca says.
Cat hovers.
I’d better go. I need the doctor. Where’s Ben?
There’s Ben. With a woman. She’s standing coyly with her back against the truck of that tree. He’s standing in front of her, as close to her as he was to Cat yesterday. Not so much invading the woman’s space as dominating it. There’s a difference – Cat has already experienced it. It’s subtle – the former would be undesirable, intrusive. The latter is disconcerting and compelling.
Poor Cat. This is not jealousy but despondency. There’s Ben, whom Cat has longed to see all day. But he has not been looking out for her. His attention has been caught by this other woman. Look at them now – Ben has cupped the woman’s face in his hands and is looking into her eyes intently. Look at her, all legs that are brown and a face that is perfect. It doesn’t matter that she is wearing a minuscule scarlet frou-frou frock, nor that her head is crowned with a ridiculous hat in the shape of a Coke bottle top. The point is, she is a podium girl and she is stunning. Cat is a journaliste in a pair of now creased khaki shorts, a vest from a children’s department and a white shirt with ink on the cuff and a coffee stain down the front. She is also wearing boots that might very well carry the Timberland seal of authenticity, but objectively they are what her Uncle Django calls ‘clodhoppers’.
Oh God. Uncle Django. I told Fen that if Sassetta won, she could tell Django about bloody Ben.
Cat turns her phone off, turns and walks away quickly but not briskly. There is no spring in her step. She takes herself off to an area behind the finish line where officials are busy dismantling the temporary grandstands. She finds a crate and sits down, head in hands.
Shit and double shit. Now everyone at home knows about Ben bloody York – whose attraction for me obviously doesn’t exist apart from in my delusions. Josh, whom I like and respect, now knows and defines me by a boyfriend who doesn’t exist – which leaves me vulnerable. For Ben York, though, I don’t exist.
Cat, you sound adolescent and rather pathetic.
I’m trying to fucking heal, to make my way forward.
Does that take a man? How about Luca then?
Fuck off. He’s a rider in the Tour de France. He’s superhuman. I absolutely wouldn’t dare touch him or even encourage him. Think of the consequences.
What about Josh?
I think I’ll end up adoring Josh. But for me, there’s no possibility there beyond good friendship.
‘I’m a journaliste,’ Cat says softly, repeating it louder. ‘I’m here working. I have an idea for an article for Maillot. I must phone them.’
Cat returns to the salle de pressé and phones Maillot.
‘Hullo, it’s Cat McCabe – how about a feature on podium girls?’
‘Podium girls?’ Andy responds.
‘Getting to the substance behind the skirt?’ Cat elaborates, a twang of desperation to her voice causing Josh to look up and regard her with a flicker of concern.
‘Perhaps,’ Andy says. ‘OK?’
‘OK,’ Cat says forlornly, ‘podium girls – who the fuck are they?’
‘Sure,’ says Andy, ‘let me think about it.’
STAGE 4
Plouay-Chardin. 248 kilometres
Ben was concerned about Didier. Didier LeDucq was an accomplished domestique; professional for four years, he was riding his second Tour de France in his first season for Megapac.
‘What worries me,’ Ben said to himself whilst examining his chin and wondering whether he need shave that morning, ‘is that Didier has been so damn quiet. Over meals he usually regales the team, all of us, with tales and anecdotes of his antics on bike and off. Yesterday he was all but silent. If he’s sickening, I wish he’d tell me now.’
I’d better shave. You never know whom you might come across.
Ben was concerned about Hunter Dean. Patting foam across his bristles, he stared at the vision of Santa Claus in the mirror. He bared his teeth, observing that they did not appear unduly yellow next to the shaving foam.
Hunter is so focused, he feels so much for the team, for the sponsors and his belief in himself is immense. Good. Great. But we’ve only had three days of racing. I can’t have him burn out. He’s a potentially brilliant all-rounder. He can delve into all the disciplines of pro cycling and come up with results. But I don’t want him riding like a sprinter. Or anywhere near them really. I’ll talk to the directeur. Maybe his soigneur too. I’ll talk to his girlfriend. Maybe I ought to talk to him. I’ll go down to the start today.
Looking out through the curtains, Ben saw clear skies
