always looking at people in the worst light.’
My defences began to give way. ‘I suppose so …’
‘And you’re not kind to people in shops. Like that waitress the other day.’
‘She was being stupid.’
‘You think you’re being assertive but you’re just being mean. I dunno, Lins. It’s, well … The people I’m meeting at work are happy to get along with each other, and they’re not so judgemental, you know? They’re just real people.’
Now I was on the attack. ‘What the fuck’s a “real person”?’
‘You know what I’m talking about.’
‘You said they were homogenous androids.’
‘That’s what I thought at first, but I don’t want to approach life like that any more. I don’t want to think the way you do … Don’t cry, Lins. It’s— There are so many things. Like with money. You always think people are out to rip you off. You don’t want me to buy drinks and you always fuss at the tips I leave.’
‘Jack, it’s like you have this inferiority complex and have to prove you’re not mean. You can’t set foot in a bar without spending a hundred dollars, and we can’t afford it.’
‘Look, I know it’s hard for you, with the way your family is, but I think you’re —’
‘What?’
‘Morally inadequate.’
I was quiet for a bit. I had been brought up to expect the worst from life and the people in it. Jack might have been mad from time to time, but he was decent and friendly to people when he was sober. I didn’t know what to do so I ran, sobbing, from the flat. It was exhilarating at first, but I soon felt the wind whipping through my rabbit-print pyjamas. And these were tough hills to negotiate in slippers.
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