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HarperElement
An Imprint of HarperCollinsPublishers 1 London Bridge Street London SE1 9GF
First published in the US by Broadway Books 2005
This edition published by HarperElement 2006
Copyright © Greg Behrendt and Amiira Ruotola-Behrendt 2005
Greg Behrendt and Amiira Ruotola-Behrendt assert the moral right to be identified as the authors of this work
A catalogue record of this book is available from the British Library
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Source ISBN: 9780007225187
Ebook Edition © AUGUST 2009 ISBN: 9780007343508 Version: 2015-02-02
This book is for the True and Mighty.
Table of Contents
What If You’re Still Together?
Chapter One: It’s Called a Breakup Because It’s Broken
Chapter Two: There Are No New Messages
Chapter Three: He’s Not Hiding At the Bottom of That Pint of Ice Cream
Chapter Four: If You Mention His Name One More Time...
Chapter Five: Stop Calling In Sick
Chapter Six: If He Was So Great, You’d Still Be Together
Chapter Seven: Fancy Meeting You Here!
Chapter Eight: What’s He Thinking?
The First Commandment (Or, Just a Really Good Idea) Don’t See Him or Talk to Him For Sixty Days
The Second Commandment (Or, A Strong Suggestion) Get Yourself a Breakup Buddy
The Fifth Commandment (Or, Food for Thought) Don’t Wear Your Breakup Out Into the World
The Sixth Commandment (Hear Our Plea!) No Backsliding!
The Seventh Commandment (And This One Is Non-Negotiable) It Won’t Work Unless You Are Number One!
Long, long ago in a sad galaxy far far away, I was dating this stone-cold Superfox. And when I say dating, what I really mean to say is that I was sick in love with her, while she thought I was a “really good guy.” Needless to say, things fell apart. We had one of those awkward breakups where you’re living together and sleeping in the same bed but you’re not going out anymore. “Excuse me, I know you’re seeing someone else, but can I have some of that pillow?” Ouch. Who does that? Me, as
