serve as Stop signs. The idea is that you stop, address the action, and then continue.
Now clearly if you ignore the Action Point – the Stop sign – it’s unlikely that you’ll be hit by a truck a moment later. Also I’m not going to pursue you through the proceeding pages, flag you down and issue you with a ticket and three points on your Amazon account. That’s not going to happen.
Also, I’ve always been quite enthusiastic about ‘ideas’. But whilst I like to collect and share ideas, I fully accept that you have just as much right to ignore them completely. I promise not to get annoyed with you for dismissing any suggestion (and these are only ‘suggestions’) I throw in your direction, if you promise to forgive me for being a little passionate, or teacher-ish.
That said, I’m assuming you bought this book because something in your head said ‘Hey – I do want to be happy’ and way back on page three, four, something like that, we agreed (well, you read it and I didn’t hear you object) that you couldn’t achieve this aim without putting a little effort in. So as I’m writing the words, addressing the Action Points is your part of the deal.
With all that in mind, here’s the first Action Point of the book:
STOP! ACTION POINT!
Get yourself a diary
Popular options are …
a paper-based diary (such as a Filofax)
the calendar on your phone
Microsoft Outlook
Google Calendar
Just pick one.
How to Use Your Diary
Hurrah! You have a diary. Fabulous. Now let’s start using it.
You might think that’s pretty straightforward but you’d be surprised – especially if you’re a ‘diary newbie’ – how easy it is to screw things up. So here’s my step-by-step guide:
1) Put ALL your appointments in it. Not just your appointment with your physiotherapist or family planning clinic. Everything. Even the appointments you know you won’t forget: your band rehearsals, your evening classes, even WORK. The only possible exception is IF you work a regular five-day week (in which case put the times you’re not at work in your diary – such as a vacation). If you don’t work a five-day week – if you work part-time, or shifts, or you’re on a contract – put the work days in. Yes, it looks crowded! Now you know how busy you are.
2) Unless you have another system for this (one that actually works) add all birthdays and anniversaries, and potentially extra reminders a few days ahead of the real event (e.g. you might want an appointment entitled ‘It’s your wedding anniversary this time next week’).8
3) Add your own birthday. You’d be surprised how many years I agreed to work on my own bloody birthday!
4) Add bank holidays, Easter (remember Easter moves around from one year to the next), Mothering Sunday, Father’s Day, Christmas Day, Boxing Day (the real Boxing Day), Valentine’s Day, and both days when they change the damn clocks – in your diary. Links to all these dates are on the website.9
5) Delicate one, this one – you may wish to add your menstrual cycle, or the cycle of someone you’re close to. I’m just putting the idea out there. Moving on …
6) If your diary has a reminder function, set it to remind you of events and appointments several days in advance. Yes, days. Mine is set to ten days (plus the day itself). Birthdays are set to one month. There’s no point in getting a reminder about an important birthday or anniversary on the actual day itself – not if you need to get a card and a gift (what d’you mean you always buy the card and gift on the day?)
7) Start checking your diary regularly. How regularly? At least every day (set yourself an alarm if you have to until you get into the habit). You’ll be surprised how often you discover an appointment you’d forgotten about. If your diary only allows you to see one day at a time (which is daft – ideally you want to be able to see the whole week in one view) then don’t just look at today – have a quick look at tomorrow, and the day after, and the day after that.
8) Before you agree to anything check your diary again. If the date’s free, enter the new appointment. If it’s not, decline the appointment, or shuffle stuff around so you can make it.
9) Do not agree to an appointment if you don’t have your diary handy. Here’s how you avoid doing that – you say the following amazing magical phrase: ‘Let me check my diary and get back to you.’ See how easy that was?
10) Beware people who say, ‘What are you doing on …?’ It seems like an innocent enough question, and – puffed up with pride in your newly organised life – it’ll have you reaching for your diary and revealing to the other person that you’re ‘free’. Which then makes it virtually impossible to turn down their request to babysit their pet python. Even if you are busy you’ll find yourself negotiating over whether what you have planned is more or less important than Percy the Python’s happiness and well-being. The appropriate answer to ‘What are you doing on …?’ is ‘Why do you ask?’
11) When agreeing to an appointment check the day before and the day after (so that you don’t agree to ‘climb a mountain’ the day after you ‘swim the channel’).
12) When you add an appointment, consider adding supporting appointments. Have you just accepted an invitation to a party? Great. Is it a posh do? Do you need your suit dry cleaned? Will you need a hat? Do you need a present? A card? A partner? Do you need to factor in travel time? Make appointments with yourself on various days before the party to sort out all these things, along with an appointment (with yourself) to get ready for the party, and to journey to the party itself. Seriously. You’ll thank me later. Oh, and book out the day after the party to ‘recover’.
13) When you make an appointment remember to add some slack in case it overruns or starts late. Sadly not everyone is as organised as you.
14) Take your diary with you EVERYWHERE. When you leave the house and you check you have your keys, check you have your diary.
15) And finally – make an appointment every month for a Boxing Day.
STOP! ACTION POINT!
Pre-book your Boxing Days
Now that you have your diary, why not create a regular appointment with yourself for Boxing Day? I recommend you start with one a month – maybe on the 26th – always remembering that you can shuffle them about if they’re not convenient.
Remember the principle of Boxing Day:
BOXING DAY IS DRIVEN BY THE MOMENT, THE HEART, AND THE
OPPORTUNITY
And remember the Boxing Day Rules:
1 No pre-planning what you’ll do on the day
2 Book Boxing Day in advance (and do whatever preparation’s necessary to make sure the day actually happens e.g. arrange childcare, prepare meals
