forgotten all about it,’ I said. ‘And all my clothes are at Matty’s flat anyway.’
‘Where are you staying?’ Babs asked.
‘Phil’s,’ I said, sitting up on the couch and picking up a cushion to hug. ‘He’s looking after me, like always.’
‘Every girl needs a gay best friend, eh?’ said Babs.
I laughed without any real humour.
‘Yeah, well, it’s not quite so fabulous when your gay best friend’s boyfriend hates you,’ I said. ‘I can’t stay there for long.’
‘Where will you go?’
‘Not sure,’ I said. ‘Maybe to my mum’s for a while. Get some sun.’ And a whole lot of grief, though – I was trying not to think about that. Another thought struck me.
‘What’s the good news?’
‘What good news?’
‘You said there was good news’
‘Oh, yes,’ Babs said. ‘I just want you to know that this is not a disaster. I’ve got people out of worse scrapes than a small punch-up in a nightclub.’
I smiled despite myself.
‘It wasn’t really a small punch,’ I said. ‘More of a wallop.’
Babs made a dismissive sound.
‘And my knickers are all over the internet,’ I added, feeling another wave of self-pity.
‘Ach,’ said Babs. ‘It’s fine.’
‘It’s not fine,’ I said. ‘It’s awful. I really just want to go away for a while. Disappear for, like, six months, longer even. I can get off the bloody media roller coaster and lick my wounds, then come back revitalised and ready for a new challenge.’
‘Absolutely not.’
‘Babs, I can’t do this,’ I wailed. ‘There are paps everywhere. And Tim’s right – they’re going to dig up every tiny bit of dirt they can. This story will go on and on and on. Unless I disappear and give them nothing.’
‘Oh, get over yourself,’ Babs said. ‘You’re not bloody Greta Garbo. If you disappear now, everyone will forget you. Your career will be over.’
‘Ouch,’ I said. ‘That’s harsh.’
‘It’s true,’ said Babs unsympathetically. ‘But don’t worry. I’ve got a plan.’
‘You have?’ I said, feeling marginally more cheerful.
‘We need to make the most of this interest in you. Use it to our advantage and take control.’
‘And how do we do that?’
‘Oh, it’s easy. We just need people to know how lovely you are,’ she said blithely. ‘Not Betsy – Amy. Your adoring public need to remember why they adored you in the first place.’
‘Right,’ I said, doubtfully. ‘I’m not sure that’s the most straightforward idea you’ve ever had. How would we do it, anyway?’
‘Reality TV, baby,’ she said.
I took the phone from my ear and scowled at it.
‘No,’ I said. ‘No.’
‘Don’t dismiss it, Amy,’ Babs said. ‘It can work wonders.’
‘And it can destroy careers,’ I said.
There was a pause.
‘From where I’m standing, it looks like you don’t have much of a career left to destroy,’ Babs said. ‘When you’ve hit rock bottom, Amy, the only way left is up.’
‘I’m not doing Big Brother,’ I said.
‘Fine.’
‘And only major channels.’
‘Fine.’
‘And I get to choose which show.’
There was silence.
‘Babs, I get to choose.’
‘Fine,’ she said, grudgingly.
‘And minimal publicity,’ I said. ‘I’ll do what I have to do, but not too much. I’ve got to get away from all this.’
Babs made a huffing sound.
‘You can’t hide away,’ she said.
I wished I could, but I knew she was right really. I bit my lip.
‘I’ve got contacts everywhere – I’m sure we can get you into something,’ Babs went on, oblivious to my misgivings ‘Have a think and let me know what you want me to focus on. But do it soon. We need to strike while the iron’s hot.’
‘Okay,’ I said, suddenly feeling very tired. ‘I’ll have a think.’
‘Amy,’ Babs said. ‘It’s going to be okay, you know.’
I tried to smile but it was more of a grimace.
‘Yeah, we’ll see,’ I said. ‘We’ll see.’
‘Was it awful?’ Phil said, giving me a sympathetic look as he adjusted the hat on a mannequin.
I flopped dramatically over the low table where he showcased his most exclusive designs to his poshest customers.
‘So awful,’ I said. ‘I can’t even tell you how bad.’
‘Don’t put fingermarks on that table,’ Phil warned.
I gave him a fierce look but sat up anyway.
Well, it’s done now,’ Phil said. ‘You’ve filmed your last scenes. Betsy is no more.’
He paused.
‘So who killed her then?
I shrugged.
‘Not a clue,’ I said. ‘It was just one of the props guys who dealt the fatal blow – they only filmed his hand. They’ll add in someone later, when they decide who the killer’s going to be.’
Phil made a face.
‘It’s not a great ending,’ he said. ‘Still, onwards and upwards.’
Phil’s relentless cheeriness
