gaze still fixed on Martyn’s image. ‘Never mind,’ she said.
There was a noisy footfall in the passage followed by a bang on the door, and, with scarcely a pause for permission, by the entry of a large, florid and angry-looking man wearing a sweater, a leather waistcoat, a muffler and a very old duffel coat.
‘Good morning, John darling,’ said Miss Hamilton gaily and extended her hand. The newcomer planted a smacking kiss on it and fixed Martyn with a china-blue and bulging pair of eyes. Martyn turned away from this embarrassing regard.
‘What have we here?’ he demanded. His voice was loud and rumbling.
‘My new dresser. Dr Rutherford, Martyn.’
‘Stay me with flagons!’ said Dr Rutherford. He turned on Miss Hamilton. ‘That fool of a wench Gainsford said you wanted me,’ he said. ‘What’s up?’
‘John, what have you been saying to that child?’
‘I? Nothing. Nothing to what I could, and, mark you, what I ought to say to her. I merely asked if, for the sake of my sanity, she’d be good enough to play the central scene without a goddam simper on her fat and wholly unsuitable dial.’
‘You’re frightening her.’
‘She’s terrifying me. She may be your niece, Ella –’
‘She’s not my niece. She’s Ben’s niece.’
‘If she was the Pope’s niece she’d still be a goddam pain in the neck. I wrote this part for an intelligent actress who could be made to look reasonably like Adam. What do you give me? A moronic amateur who looks like nothing on God’s earth.’
‘She’s extremely pretty.’
‘Lollypops! Adam’s too damn easy on her. The only hope lies in shaking her up. Or kicking her out and I’d do that myself if I had my way. It ought to have been done a month back. Even now –’
‘Oh, my dear John! We open in two days you might remember.’
‘An actress worth her salt’d memorize it in an hour. I told her –’
‘I do beg you,’ she said, ‘to leave her to Adam. After all, he is the producer, John, and he’s very wise.’
Dr Rutherford pulled out of some submerged pocket a metal box. From this he extracted a pinch of snuff which he took with loud and uncouth noises.
‘In a moment,’ he said, ‘you’ll be telling me the author ought to keep out of the theatre.’
‘That’s utter nonsense.’
‘Let them try to keep me out,’ he said and burst into a neighing laugh.
Miss Hamilton slightly opened her mouth, hardened her upper lip, and with the closest attention, painted it a purplish red. ‘Really,’ she said briskly, ‘you’d much better behave prettily, you know. You’ll end by having her on your hands with a nervous breakdown.’
‘The sooner the better if it’s a good one.’
‘Honestly, John, you are the rock bottom when you get like this. If you didn’t write the plays you do write – if you weren’t the greatest dramatist since –’
‘Spare me the raptures,’ he said, ‘and give me some actors. And while we’re on the subject I may as well tell you that I don’t like the way Ben is shaping in the big scene. If Adam doesn’t watch him he’ll be up to some bloody leading-man hocus-pocus and by God if he tries that on I’ll wring his neck for him.’
She turned and faced him. ‘John, he won’t. I’m sure he won’t.’
‘No, you’re not. You can’t be sure. Nor can I. But if there’s any sign of it tonight, and Adam doesn’t tackle him, I will. I’ll tickle his catastrophe, by God I will. As for that Mongolian monstrosity, that discard from the waxworks, Mr Parry Percival; what devil – will you answer me – what inverted sadist foisted it on my play?’
‘Now, look here, John –’ Miss Hamilton began with some warmth and was shouted down.
‘Have I not stipulated from the beginning of my disastrous association with this ill-fated playhouse that I would have none of these abortions in my works? These Things. These foetid Growths. These Queers.’
‘Parry isn’t one.’
‘Yah! He shrieks it. I have an instinct, my girl. I nose them as I go into the lobby.’
She made a gesture of despair: ‘I give up,’ she said.
He helped himself to another pinch of snuff. ‘Hooey!’ he snorted. ‘You don’t do anything of the sort, my sweetiepie. You’re going to rock ’em, you and Adam. Think of that and preen yourself. And leave all the rest – to me.’
‘Don’t quote from Macbeth. If Gay Gainsford heard you doing that she really would go off at the deep end.’
‘Which is precisely where I’d like to push her.’
‘Oh, go away,’ she cried out impatiently but with an air of good nature. ‘I’ve had you. You’re wonderful and you’re hopeless. Go away.’
‘The audience is concluded?’ He scraped the parody of a regency bow.
‘The audience is concluded. The door, Martyn.’
Martyn opened the door. Until then, feeling wretchedly in the way, she had busied herself with the stack of suitcases in the corner of the room and now, for the first time, came absolutely face to face with the visitor. He eyed her with an extraordinary air of astonishment.
‘Here!’ he said. ‘Hi!’
‘No, John,’ Miss Hamilton said with great determination. ‘No!’
‘Eureka!’
‘Nothing of the sort. Good morning.’
He gave a shrill whistle and swaggered out. Martyn turned back to find her employer staring into the glass. Her hands trembled and she clasped them together. ‘Martyn,’ she said, ‘I’m going to call you Martyn because it’s such a nice name. You know, a dresser is rather a particular sort of person. She has to be as deaf as a post and as blind as a bat to almost everything that goes on under her very nose. Dr Rutherford is, as I expect you know, a most distinguished and brilliant person. Our Greatest English Playwright. But like many brilliant people,’ Miss Hamilton continued in what Martyn couldn’t help thinking a rather too special voice, ‘he is eccentric. We all understand and we expect you to do so too. Do you know?’
Martyn said she did.
‘Good. Now, put me into that pink thing and let us know the worst about it, shall we?’
When she was dressed she stood before the cheval-glass and looked with cold intensity at her image. ‘My God,’ she said, ‘the lighting had better be good.’
Martyn said: ‘Isn’t
