to learn how to take in energy from outside in order to balance your own internal energy. When you feel more connected to the earth – literally grounded – you are better able to remain yourself while in the energy field of others. This helps you to maintain your self-esteem and internal balance.
Imagine yourself in a favourite landscape. If you feel most at peace in woodlands, mountains or meadows, imagine yourself there. In your mind’s eye, picture the landscape, the rocks and trees, foliage and flowers. If the seaside gives you most energy, visualize yourself on a shore, feet in the sand, gazing at the ocean. Go inside yourself and commune with nature. Feel connected and nourished by what is around you.
Relax and feel the environment holding you. You are resting in the waves of the ocean, or the leaves and grasses all around you.
Absorb the goodness and strength of nature. Imagine that everything around you gives you energy and light.
On finding stillness
Meditation masters say that you don’t need to do anything in order to find stillness; you simply cease your activity to stop doing and start being. Yet it can be difficult to find stillness, because we need to learn to quiet the incessant chatter of our minds. Our minds are often charged and over-stimulated; our normal state of mind is restless, chaotic and overrun with myriad thoughts that push and pull us in different directions.
Sages hold that thoughts are a distraction from your true self, and this sense of authenticity can only emerge in the gaps between thoughts – the time when your thoughts are not there to claim your attention. This is the authentic self, an inherent quality of presence that is not defined by what we do or our identity labels. It is a quality of consciousness that is open, responsive and vibrant.
When you let go of your mind, you also let go of your ego. Your ego is the idea you have of yourself that is made up of your thoughts about yourself. These are usually negative thoughts and create what psychologists call a ‘false’ self – an idea of yourself that is not based on the reality of who you are. Your authentic nature is a state of being experienced in meditation, in lovemaking, in peak experiences where you feel moved into a realm of ecstasy. These are all times when you transcend a limited idea of who you are and what you are capable of experiencing. By shifting your focus to clear and still your mind, you make way for your own ecstasy.
Shift your focus, clear your mind
The most important thing to do in order to experience a different state of being is to stop thinking and allow yourself to be entirely in the present, not the future. You can transform your experience of anything by shifting the focus of your attention. By mastering this technique, you get more out of everything that you do. During lovemaking, you can experience more intense pleasure by simply choosing to focus on your pleasure.
You can use any mundane activity as a meditation. While you’re walking to work, focus on enjoying every step of the way. Rather than mentally plan all the things you have to do, absorb the detail of what’s around you.
At home, apply this approach to the tasks you loathe. Enjoy the sensory experience of washing up; slow it down, watch the bubbles, trace the water.
Choose one focus for your mind. Channel all its powers into a single point, such as gazing at a flower. Let looking absorb all your mental energy. Keep practising this until you can hold the object in your mind’s eye, unwavering, for at least five minutes. When you have mastered this you can try sitting in meditation in front of a flickering candle flame, or just focus on the slow inhalation and exhalation of your breath.
Witness your thoughts
Sitting quietly and watching your thoughts is the first step to developing some degree of detachment from them. It is your thoughts that create a screen composed of preconceptions, judgments and interpretations that hamper relating. The first step to disengaging from the ceaseless activity of your mind is to become a witness to the process.
Let any thoughts that enter your mind come and go without captivating your interest. Don’t struggle to control your thoughts; the best way to deal with them is to keep bringing your awareness back to your breathing. Breathe in, feeling the air fill your chest, and push your abdomen gently outwards. Hold the breath without any tension in your body, and then gently release the air.
You will notice how often your mind pulls away from focusing on a simple act with all sorts of distractions. Don’t try to control your mind. The art of meditation is in letting go of thoughts, rather than trying to force your mind to be somewhere. Just observe your thoughts.
Meditation and sex
Tantra provides the perfect method and the motivation for keeping you in the moment: sex. Sex is one of the few moments in everyday life when we are able to suspend our thoughts; this is the sort of thought-gap that we aim for in meditation.
For most people sex provides one of the few peak experiences in life. Tantra holds that life can be like this all the time, if you learn to transform your consciousness. Life is really a vibrant, energizing, delicious stream of energy, if you can just let go of what you think life is all about and who you think you are. Letting go of preconceived ideas will automatically uncover a more authentic way of being.
Meditate on your sexual energy
After a relaxing bath, light a candle in front of a mirror. Gaze at your naked body in the mirror. Appreciate the beauty of your form. Then close your eyes and go inward.
Enjoy the sensuality of your body. You are your sexuality.
Let eroticism spread throughout your whole being. Draw your breath down into your pelvis, and then into your sexual organs. Sense them warm and alive, suffusing your body with sexual energy. Let a sensual glow radiate from your body.
Enjoy being alive. Enjoy being sexy. Appreciate the sense of wellbeing that awakening your sexual nature allows you. Celebrate the presence of erotic energy – it is not only in you, it is all around you. Plug into it and let your erotic nature explode.
Melt into sexual bliss.
Get a sexual energy-body
The sexual energy-body is part of the subtle body inside us that we can feel but not touch. The more you become aware of your own energy-body, the more you improve your wellbeing and enhance your sexual satisfaction. You also improve your ability to connect with your partner and sustain that connection. Working with Tantric techniques helps you to open your heart to more love, becoming more aware of the importance of love as well as the sacredness of life. One of the best byproducts of awakening your internal energy-body is achieving a state of dynamic meditation; this is when you feel vibrant, but amazingly relaxed.
Body therapists have discovered that the movement of energy through the body clears physical tension produced by holding your body tight, and promotes healthy function. Therapists release this by encouraging physical movement and paying attention to the streaming of energy in the body. This is close to the way Tantra views the relationship between the subtle energy-body and our physical body. Your natural state of energy is one of constant flow.
