talk soft,’ the German shepherd replied gently, before turning to me. ‘And you’re Percy, I just heard Bugsy say. Well, it’s very nice to meet you, Percy. I’m Heather and you’re welcome to come and hang around with us of a morning any time you want to. Who are your owners?’
‘Gail and Simon,’ I barked again, gesturing towards Simon, who was busy chatting to a small blonde woman at the corner of a park.
The two looked as if they had known each other for years by the way they were gassing away. I was about to ask the others if they knew who she was when I became distracted by the lead the woman was holding. Straining impatiently at the leash, was the most beautiful pug I had ever seen. Blonde, with dark markings and trademark big brown eyes, her paws looked tantalisingly beautiful, and the set of her jaw left my own hanging open in longing.
‘That’s Peg, old boy,’ Jake barked quietly, as he sidled up to me. ‘She’s just a young thing, and spoiled, a bit like her owner, but she’s a good girl at heart.’
‘Jake, she’s a sweetheart,’ Heather protested, as she scratched her ear in frustration. ‘Don’t put Percy off before they’ve even met.’
‘Oh, Heather,’ Bugsy barked affectionately. ‘You always see the best in a dog, even me, and I’m always getting it wrong and I know you tell me it’s just my age, but it’s not always and anyway, I don’t think Percy’s about to be put off any time soon. His jaw’s on the floor and he’s dribbling. Is he sick, Heather?’
‘No, sweetie,’ Heather woofed affectionately. ‘He’s just got a bit of a crush, the poor thing.’
Bugsy grimaced. ‘Yuck! On Peg? But she’s a girl.’
I’d heard enough of this nonsense and turned back to face the others, who were all looking at me agog.
‘I don’t have a crush. I just think it’s nice to meet another pug, that’s all,’ I objected, hoping my traitorous, thumping heart wouldn’t give me away.
I turned back to look at Peg, only to find she was scampering towards us. I gulped noisily and felt my nose moisten with nerves as I turned to Heather. ‘How do I look?’
‘Like a prince, pet,’ she barked kindly.
‘Come and meet our new boy, Percy,’ Heather barked as Peg approached. ‘He lives around the corner in Barksdale Way.’
‘Ooh, that’s a bit posh,’ Peg panted, echoing Bugsy’s words as she scampered to join me. ‘It’s lovely to meet you, Percy. Can I come around and see your place sometime?’
‘Steady on, old girl,’ Jake barked sagely. ‘Perce here has just arrived. It’s a bit soon to be inviting yourself over for a bowl of Pedigree Chum.’
‘Sorry, Percy,’ Peg woofed a little shamefaced. ‘Where are my manners? It’s just rare to meet another pug, especially not one that lives in such a nice part of town. I got carried away, that’s all.’
‘That’s okay,’ I replied, her beauty leaving me almost barkless. ‘I’d love to have you visit. I’ll see if I can encourage Simon to invite your owner over.’
‘Oh, our Sally doesn’t need much encouragement,’ Peg barked knowingly. ‘She’s a sucker for a pretty face that girl. I suppose that’s where I get it from.’
Heather turned to Peg. ‘How is your Sally now?’
Peg rolled her big brown eyes in despair. ‘She’s all right, Heather. But it doesn’t take much for Sally to start turning on the old waterworks. She’d only been on a couple of dates with this latest one but she’s been sobbing on my fur all week about how she thought he was the one, whatever that means.’
‘She’s been looking for love in all the wrong places again,’ Heather barked sympathetically.
‘You can bark that again,’ Peg replied. ‘Honestly, she’s getting on my nerves with all these tears. We always have such a nice time when it’s just the two of us, I can’t understand why she wants to ruin everything by chasing after every man in trousers.’
‘It’s not our job to understand, Peg,’ Jake barked wisely. ‘It is ours merely to be there for our owners whenever they need us.’
‘And I am, Jake,’ Peg insisted, her little tail, curling and uncurling in frustration. ‘But all these tears are making my fur soggy and cold.’
Jake patted her much younger paws with his old wizened ones. ‘I do understand, my dear, but such is our lot. Into this life a little rain must fall.’
‘Literally, when it comes to our Sal,’ Peg barked mutinously. ‘Anyway, what about everyone else? I can’t be the only one with owner problems.’
Being new to the group, I didn’t want to speak first, but the others wasted no time comparing war stories.
‘Well, I’m sure it’s no secret that mine are getting divorced,’ Heather barked matter-of-factly. ‘It’s been a long time coming. Pete’s been convinced for years she’s been cheating on him so he finally got fed up and hired a private detective to do some digging last month.’
I rolled my eyes in amazement. Was that really something humans did? I looked around the rest of the group, but they did not appear remotely surprised.
‘And he found some evidence that she’d been with someone else?’ Peg woofed compassionately.
‘No, she hadn’t been cheating at all,’ Heather barked with exasperation. ‘But when she met the private detective, she fell head over heels and has now moved in with him, so Pete really has got something to worry about and is either moping about the house or throwing plates in the garden. I have to be careful when I pop out for my evening tinkle.’ Heather shook her head in disgust. ‘What about the rest of you? I can’t be the only one suffering thanks to my daft owners.’
Bugsy cocked his head and let his tongue loll to one side, an unattractive pool of drool gathering at the corner of his mouth. ‘My owners have just had a baby,’ he barked. ‘Jasper’s really sweet and cute and I like to look at him when my parents have gone to bed, but he’s not asleep very often when it gets dark. In fact, most of the time he’s awake and he’s crying, and screaming and waking everyone up because he shouts so loudly. I never get any sleep and neither do Mum and Dad and they’re tired, and I’m tired and all I want to do is go to bed. Sometimes I think I could sleep standing up, but then I know I’d fall over and probably hurt myself. My owners say they haven’t got time to play with me any more because they’re so tired and I miss going for walks with my parents in the morning because instead I’ve got the neighbour’s son, Maxwell, taking me and he’s horrible and listens to his headphones all the time and I’m fed up!’
With that, Bugsy slumped to the floor, his head on his paws in despair. As he let out a howl of frustration, Jake and Heather rushed to his side and encouraged him to his paws.
‘Come on, Bugsy, lovey, don’t take on so,’ Heather barked soothingly. ‘Jasper won’t be a baby for long and Johnny and Bella will be playing with you again before you know it.’
‘Absolutely, old boy,’ agreed Jake. ‘My owner’s son, Patrick, was a baby once, made a huge racket night and day for months. Thought it was never going to end, but
