Scott.
‘What are you doing here?’ I ask, feeling a curious mixture of delight and anger. ‘How did you know I was here?’
As if on cue, Emma turns up carrying some sandwiches and crisps. Her jaw drops when she sees Scott standing in front of my bed.
‘Let me guess,’ I say. ‘Someone told you I was here.’
‘Yes she did.’ Scott’s face is set into a stern frown. ‘And I’m glad she got in touch with me because I’d have had no idea what was going on otherwise! We’ve barely spoken since I got back, Cleo. I said I was sorry for what happened after we—’
‘I don’t want to talk about that right now,’ I say, cutting across him. ‘Can we leave it till later?’
‘We’ve been “leaving it till later” for weeks now,’ he says. ‘I’ve told you time and again why I did what I did, but as usual you won’t bloody listen!’
My blood begins to boil and I could quite happily slap his beautiful face. Instead, I fold my arms across my chest and fix him with my patented Death Stare.
‘Go away, Scott,’ I reply with all the venom I can muster for the man I still love, which isn’t a whole lot. ‘I don’t want you here, OK? Just leave.’
I’m only half telling the truth. Although I can barely stand to look at him right now, there’s something comforting about him being here. He’s always made me feel like everything will be alright.
‘At least tell me why you’re here,’ he says, taking cautious steps towards my bedside. ‘When Emma let me know you’d been taken to hospital, I rushed straight down here to see if you were OK. I still care about you, you know.’
I sigh and decide enough is enough. ‘I fainted at my Carb Counters meeting, OK? I started to feel funny then I passed out.’
I decide not to tell him I’ve been sick and missed at least one period. He’ll only jump to silly conclusions and overreact.
‘Cleo, that’s serious,’ he says, taking a seat next to my bed. His face is the colour of sour milk as he tries to phrase his next question. ‘Have you been …? I mean, you haven’t …?’
‘No,’ I say, knowing exactly what he’s trying to avoid saying. ‘I haven’t binged or purged for over a year now. It’s definitely not that. Now, please just go. I’m fine, honestly. There’s nothing to worry about, I’ll be out of here in no time.’
We exchange weak smiles, and I see him instinctively reach for my hand before pulling away. I feel marginally better for reassuring him instead of pushing him away. No matter what’s happened between us, it’s incredibly hard to hate him.
‘OK, if that’s what you want.’ Scott heaves a sigh and hauls himself to his feet. ‘If you need me or anything, just give me a call, alright?’
I nod, not meeting his gaze. He mumbles a goodbye then heads off back down the corridor.
‘Thanks for that,’ I say to Emma, my voice dripping with sarcasm. ‘That was just what I needed today!’
‘I’m sorry – I just thought he should know what’s going on, that’s all! What is going on, Cleo? He waltzed back from Australia three months ago, you two had some sort of reunion, but then … nothing. You haven’t said anything about what happened that night.’
I round on her, ready to fire some ammunition of my own. ‘Oh yeah? You split up with Ben what, six months ago now? All you’ve told us is that it “wasn’t working”, but you won’t say why.’
Her cheeks turn pink and she falls silent for a moment. ‘This isn’t about me, OK? At least I gave you guys an explanation, even if you don’t think it was a good one. And what about this whole fainting thing? It’s never happened before. You told the doctor you’ve missed a period and been sick. You’re not … pregnant, are you?’
I snap my head round to look at her. ‘No way, it’s impossible! I don’t know what’s going on with me right now, but I’m definitely not having a baby. Once I get out of here, I’ll tell you what happened with Scott, I promise.’
Doctor Andrews approaches, a beaming grin lighting up his sallow features. At least he’s not about to tell me I’m dying, I say to myself.
‘I’ve got your test results back,’ he says, flipping to the relevant page on his clipboard. ‘And it looks like congratulations are in order.’
My blood freezes in my veins. Is he about to say what I think he’s going to say? I pray to whatever deity will listen that I’m wrong.
‘W-what do you mean?’ I ask, feeling my entire body begin to tremble.
‘You’re pregnant, Miss Jones. About ten weeks, judging by your hCG levels. Congratulations! I suggest you schedule a booking in appointment with your GP, just to get the ball rolling. In the meantime, drink plenty of fluids, avoid strenuous exercise and get plenty of rest. There’s a tiny little human in there.’ He points to my stomach and his grin widens. ‘Do you have any questions?’
‘You mean apart from how the fuck did this happen?’ I say. ‘Nope, none.’
Doctor Andrews looks at me, as if he’s not sure whether to explain the mechanics of conception to me or not. I guess he’d draw a diagram with crayons if I asked him to. He gives a little nod then walks off towards the wards, with seemingly no idea that he’s just blown my entire world apart.
The facts are irrevocable: I’m ten weeks pregnant. With my ex-boyfriend’s baby.
Oh shit.
Naturally, Emma has a lot of questions.
How do I feel?
What am I going to do?
Does this mean I’ll be giving Scott another chance?
What exactly happened between us anyway?
I promise to fill her in on everything when we get back to my cottage, and I’m true to my word. Over a plate of peanut butter chicken curry, I tell her absolutely everything.
‘So he just upped and left?’ Emma asks, wide-eyed. ‘Without saying anything to you?’
I nod, the image of waking up to find him gone twisting my stomach into knots. ‘Yup. He didn’t even think to leave me a note or send me a text to tell me where he’d gone. He said he thought I needed some space to figure things out, which is man-speak for “it shouldn’t have happened, but I’m too polite to say so”. I get that he had a job interview to get to, but why not tell me? We haven’t spoken properly since it happened. I don’t really need to hear him say he’s just not that into me.’
Emma heaves a sad sigh as she pushes some chicken round the plate with her fork. ‘You two used to be perfect together. What happened?’
I give a wry smile. ‘Australia happened. I didn’t want to go, he did. He
