players left home, I put my neck on the block and forecast that England would return 3-1 winners. And so it proved.
Jonathan Agnew, February 2011
Chapter One
The Phoney War
“Cook is hanging on to his place by the skin of his teeth.”
RICKY PONTING
DAY 1: 3 November 2010
It is one of those ‘where am I?’ moments when I am awoken by bright Australian sun beaming through the curtains of a yet another unfamiliar bedroom. The digital display on the television tells me that it is six o’clock in the morning. How is it possible, having gone to bed at two o’clock after a sixteen-hour sleepless flight, that I have managed to kip for only four hours, and yet feel as fresh as a daisy? It won’t last of course.
It was dark when I arrived last night at Perth Airport, Western Australia and by the time I had found a taxi and reached the hotel, my brain was thoroughly befuddled. I know I started to unpack after checking in and had made sure my phone worked by speaking to Emma to report my safe arrival. I also checked that there was a decent Internet connection in the room, so vital for work (and listening to music) while on tour these days. The Internet has transformed the way in which we send interviews and reports back to London. Not so long ago a set of screwdrivers to dismantle telephone connectors was an absolutely essential piece of kit to be lugged around. Now it all transmits magically from the laptop straight to BBC Television Centre, while an iPhone and a Napster account means I no longer need to pack a selection of carefully chosen compact discs. The hotel’s price for the Internet connection strikes me as expensive though – £18 per day. In fact, by the end of the tour I will have clocked up over £2,000 in Internet charges!
Apart from being the first day of the hugely anticipated Ashes tour, it is also the first day of my new and sure-to-be rigorous training regime. I am determined to lose a stone by the time Emma arrives in Australia, and to try to live a more healthy on-tour lifestyle. That is not as easy as it sounds: the job means that as commentators and pundits most of the day we are sat down in front of the microphone, while long evenings away from home inevitably draw you to the bar to meet with colleagues who are equally lonely and at an end-of-play loose end. A few too many drinks are followed, usually far too late into the evening, by something to eat. Given that journalists by their very nature are an outspoken, opinionated bunch, these evenings can often be very argumentative. They also become a dangerously routine part of being on tour. So a sensible alcohol intake and daily exercise will be the way forward this time although, physically, I am going to pace myself. No doubt Emma will say I am going to be far too easy on myself, and because I take absolutely no pleasure in jogging whatsoever, she is probably right. But nonetheless I am determined to get fit.
Langley Park, Perth lies directly between my hotel and the Swan River and is ideal for my purpose. A stroll at a brisk pace around its rectangular form takes about 25 minutes. Apart from the swarms of infuriatingly persistent flies and a temperature already well on its way to the predicted 37 degrees Celsius, it is all very pleasant. Swatting the flies is surprisingly tiring. I walk one lap and then jog the long sides of the park to complete the second. Forty minutes in the beautifully clear and fresh air. That’ll do for a start.
On my return to the hotel I encounter a typically cheerful Graeme Swann in the lobby, while Irish-born Eoin Morgan, shy and quiet in public at least, gives me a nod as he emerges from the lift. Kevin Pietersen shouts “Hello Bud!” from the breakfast room. His form and general demeanour will be greatly scrutinised by the media over the coming fortnight.
The England team have already had a couple of days in the nets at the WACA. Today they have opted for a centre-wicket practice at Richardson Park, which is a ten-minute taxi ride from the hotel. My Bangladeshi driver is amazed when we arrive at the ground that absolutely nobody is watching. “If the England cricket team practised in the middle of Dhaka,” he exclaims, “thousands of people would be there.”
Frankly, it would have helped a great deal if the dozen or so gathered journalists had been briefed in advance about how this practice session was going to be organised. Pairs of batsmen come and go -apparently after six overs have been bowled at them, and there are some strange fields set, including one that features a large blue bucket standing at short-leg. Chris Tremlett bowls a succession of attempted bouncers to Ian Bell. In the blistering heat these are not in the least bit threatening and end up being flogged through mid-wicket. Bruce French, England’s wicketkeeping coach and an old county cricket colleague of mine, belatedly explains that each ‘spell’ is in fact a game plan: early innings, mid-innings and this particular phase is designed to rough up the batsmen. I fear Tremlett’s confidence, which is already known to be suspect, will have taken rather a battering today.
James Anderson, who broke his rib while boxing during England’s unusual and clearly controversial pre-tour boot camp in Germany, manages a couple of overs. Pietersen is caught at slip for 2 off Stephen Finn, who is comfortably the pick of the quick bowlers, only for Bell and Andrew Strauss to stress in their interviews afterwards how well KP is striking the ball in the nets. He would do everyone a favour by scoring a hundred against Western Australia this weekend, putting a stop to the constant talk about his form.
This evening I enjoy one of those rare, wonderful, insightful on tour social occasions when I spend it with the England coach Andy Flower. Sadly, much of what we discuss over a number of drinks has to remain ‘off the record’, but I feel very privileged that such an ice cool and deliberate individual, who is always meticulously careful when speaking in public, feels that he can chat with me about a number of issues concerning the England team and English cricket in general.
Keen to give his side of the Anderson injury saga [Anderson suffered a broken rib while boxing during England’s bonding trip to Germany], Flower is certain that the boot camp was a great success. He argues that it challenged every member of the squad, and the management set-up too. He seems genuinely surprised by my optimism about the forthcoming tour, but his reserved pragmatism about what might follow may be simply an example of his naturally guarded character. I am sure he will not mind me repeating his answer to my question about the ‘Gabba factor’: how is he preparing the team to overcome England’s dreadful record there [England have not won a Test Match at the Gabba since November 1986] and on the first day in particular? Do they talk about it or completely ignore it? He tells me that they discuss it every day, quite deliberately, so England’s recent record at the ground is not thought of as anything sinister or, more importantly, insurmountable.
First evening of the tour, and I have already broken my vow not to drink too much. Worth it though.
DAY 2: 4 November 2010
This morning I wander down to the WACA to install the broadcasting equipment for tomorrow’s game. These technical duties are rather easier these days – just a case of plugging in a box and the line immediately goes through to London. On my return to the hotel I discover there is great excitement about comments made in Sydney about Michael Clarke’s suitability to succeed Ricky Ponting as captain of Australia. This follows Sri Lanka’s remarkable one-day international win against Australia in Melbourne yesterday, in which the Sri Lanka ninth-wicket pair added a record 132 and in so doing prolonged Australia’s losing run. Inevitably the bulk of the criticism has focussed on Clarke’s contribution as captain, and there are suggestions of a rift in the camp. Marcus North, who faces England tomorrow for Western Australia in the opening tour match, is being openly talked about as a more suitable candidate than Clarke. It is remarkable really, and must be destabilising the Australian team. Ponting’s leadership is effectively being spoken about in the past tense.
I have dinner with Peter Baxter – former producer of Test Match Special and a close friend. Sensibly, following an unhappy experience last
