‘Kara, is that you?’
Damn, he’d heard her. She ignored the summons, and headed into the kitchen to bundle the soiled bedding into the washing machine.
Chris had littered the kitchen surfaces with items. He’d always been untidy. It was something both their mum and his live-in lover had complained about in the past. On this occasion, she was prepared to forgive it, given he didn’t know where anything went, and it gave her an excuse to postpone the confrontation an extra five minutes as she put everything away.
I know I only came here to housesit, but Liddell Island has become my home. Don’t screw that up for me, Chris. I’m happy. I’m really, goddamned happy.
OK – she was going to have to face this…face him.
Kara meandered her way around the stack of luggage in the hall to reach the living room, where to her relief she found Chris crashed out in the armchair with his open laptop balanced on his knee. Yay! Storm temporarily averted. He’d have a clearer head if they left this until morning.
‘I’m not actually asleep,’ Chris muttered as she turned away. ‘Come back in and let’s talk.’
Kara peered over her shoulder to find him adopting a more upright pose, though his head still lolled against the armchair back as if it was too heavy for his neck to support.
‘I dunno. Maybe I should let you get some rest. We can do this in the morning.’
Chris looked at her through the gaps between his fingers as he massaged the sleep from his eyes. His normally smooth jawline was currently softened by a line of golden fuzz, and his mouth kept on opening wide around successive yawns.
‘I don’t want to leave this and have it eating away at me all night. Get a drink or whatever you need and let’s get it over with.’
‘Talking, or pissing one another off some more?’
He closed the computer lid with a decisive snap. It seemed it was going to be the latter. She realised not all the grim lines etched into his face were down to tiredness, a lot of them were down to his current opinion of her.
‘Chris, you do realise whatever it is you’re going to say isn’t going to change anything, right?’ She settled uncomfortably on the sofa arm, legs spread wide, but her arms folded.
Rather than mirroring her pose, Chris set the laptop aside and leaned forward.
‘You could at least hear me out, or is it too difficult to hear the truth? For heaven’s sakes, Kara, what are you doing? A one-off with two guys I could just about get my head around. We’ve all had our slutty moments, but long-term? Have you considered what people will think and say about you? I mean, I understand that you needed to let rip when you got here, and it’s far away enough from Mum for you to be uninhibited, but don’t you think this is taking it a bit far?’
‘No. I think it’s perfect.’
‘You know it can’t work indefinitely?’
‘Actually, I don’t see why not.’ They’d survived nine months without any significant issues arising. It wasn’t like they were all riddled with jealousy and constantly checking up on one another. That and none of Liddell Island’s permanent residents had said a damn thing. At least, not to her. The only condemnation had come from her ex and the odd conservative tourist, like the woman on the beach.
‘What about marriage, children…’ Chris insisted, as if those things were inevitable and not optional. She’d already ruled out marriage after the fiasco with Gavin. Ric was set against tying the knot again, having already done it once, so the first of Chris’s arguments was void already. As for children – they practised birth control.
‘I don’t need either to be happy. The same goes for them. Having one another is enough.’
Actually, they hadn’t really discussed the long-term future. She had no idea if either of the guys wanted kids. The subject hadn’t arisen. In any case, they were prepared to take life a day at a time and live in the moment. That was what island life was like – quiet, even with the recent influx of tourists. Days slipped into one another, and weeks and months passed without the need for constant planning. It wasn’t like living in the city, where even going to grab a coffee had to be recorded in triplicate on numerous electronic devices and tweeted about afterwards.
‘Having one another…’ Chris forced a laugh. ‘That’s a good one. How exactly do you have one another? Are you there for each other when you get sick? Do you go for candlelit suppers and sit on the back row of the cinema snogging each other?’
‘Only teenagers do that.’
‘Oh, hang on,’ he continued, ‘I’ve already had a demonstration. What you mean is that you let them fuck you both at once. You know fucking isn’t the same as love, don’t you, Kara? The two don’t actually equate.’
‘They’re not mutually exclusive either,’ she shot back.
‘So it’s love? You’re in love with two men and you’re all equal? Yeah, right.’ He sat back as if he’d scored a point.
‘Yes, actually,’ she blurted, leaping to her feet. She began to pace. All right, so when you got down to the nitty-gritty not everything was perfectly balanced, but she and the guys were fine with that. Things weren’t skewed in a way that left anyone out. Zach favoured Ric over her, so what? No relationship was ever uniform. Couples didn’t always love one another equally.
‘They’re using you.’
She stilled.
‘What?’
‘They’re just avoiding climbing out of the closet.’
God, he was so full of himself. He’d only been on the island for an hour, and spent thirty seconds with her lovers, and already he was making judgement calls on their integrity.
Kara shook her head. ‘Oh, you are so full of shit, brother. First you accuse me of being a slut, then tearing a relationship apart, and now they’re using me because they’re frightened people might think they’re gay. Do you know what Ric does for a living? He’s a photographer. He takes explicit pictures of people having sex. He’s not worried about what people think.’
Ric was a little commitment-phobic, but he had absolutely no qualms about his sexuality.
‘Really, he doesn’t give a shit what anyone thinks. He doesn’t even think in your narrow terms of orientation. And Zach – Zach’s his model. He doesn’t care either. They’re shacked up together, for God’s sake.’
‘Hmm, they’re shacked up and you’re living here.’
‘You hired me to housesit. I’ve been house-sitting.’
She resumed pacing back and forth across the worn brown carpet. She had done some decorating since she’d been here, but had avoided making changes that involved significant expense. She didn’t have any money, and Chris was forever forgetting to wire it. What he had sent had covered a few tins of emulsion and some new curtains.
‘Now you’re home, you won’t need me for that any
