were all empty.
Her shoes were gone.
For a few moments Amy couldn’t process the information her hands and eyes were relaying to her brain.
Now she was fighting for breath. She felt as though she might be sick, and she turned dizzily towards the bathroom. But the sensation passed and she swayed instead into the sitting room, where she sank onto the sofa and gave out a little wail. Then panic lent wings to her bleary feet and she shot up and raced back to the closet.
Take 2: My Hangover is Causing Hallucinations and My Shoes Will Be Here This Time.
They weren’t.
She had been robbed. It was the only explanation. Terrified, she lunged for the phone.
‘Justin?’ she sobbed into the receiver. ‘We’ve been burgled.’
There was silence on the other end of the line. Shock, probably.
‘Justin, are you there? Can you hear me?’
Then, at last, ‘I can hear you.’
‘My shoes are gone. Somebody’s taken them. Every single pair …’
‘I know.’
‘I’ve looked everywhere, but the boxes are all empty, and I’ve checked all round the flat and your stuff’s OK and it doesn’t seem like anything else has gone but I can’t be certain— What do you mean, you know?’
‘Abe, did you really think I wouldn’t find out?’
‘Pardon?’
‘I know everything.’
‘Wh … what do you mean?’
‘About your affair.’
‘My what?’
The phone reception wasn’t particularly brilliant. She must be hearing things. Amy pressed the receiver so close to her ear it hurt.
‘Remember Steve Roberts, my friend the arts journalist?’
‘Who?’
‘No, well, of course you wouldn’t, otherwise you might have been more careful last weekend at the Royal Opera House, mightn’t you? He saw everything, Abe.’
Now Amy really did feel that she was about to be sick.
‘You made quite a spectacle of yourself, by the sound of things.’
‘Oh, Justin, I—’
‘Don’t bother. Christ, you were seen groping the guy’s leg!’
‘What? Oh!’ With horror, Amy recalled her vigorous rubbing of Sergei’s thigh to get the wine off … ‘Yes, but no, but listen, that’s ridic—’
‘Save it, Abe. I rang Jesminder.’
Panic-stricken, Amy sank back onto the sofa. She may have told Justin that she was going to the pub with Jes that night, but she would never have dreamed of asking her friend to lie for her. Jes would have been baffled by a call from Justin, out of the blue.
‘She wasn’t half surprised to hear from me, given that she’d been out speed-dating that night, and not in the pub with you at all.’
‘I’m—’
‘Don’t worry, I covered for you. Made up some stupid story about a friend who was interested in going along and hung up. Then I went online and read all your emails.’
‘You did what?’
Now his anger was fizzing down the line. Amy didn’t know whether to be glad or sorry that they weren’t doing this face to face. Glad, probably.
‘How?’
Then she heard him sigh. ‘Took me, oh, a whole minute and a half to guess your password. Maybe two? I started with “Manolo” and worked my way through every flaming shoe designer you’d ever mentioned until I hit on “Gina”. Bingo.’
‘Oh. Very good.’
‘Sergei, huh? I really should have known after that evening he came round for dinner that there was more to it than friendship.’ He spat the last word as though it tasted unpleasant.
‘Yes, but—’
‘I thought I was a bit on the old side for you but obviously that’s the way you like ’em.’
Amy began to cry. ‘Justin, will you stop? I am not having an affair!’
‘Sure, Abe, sure,’ Justin sneered. ‘Your emails to Sergei really show that, don’t they?’ He launched into an impersonation of a Russian accent: ‘Oh, my dear, I cannot wait until Saturday … meet me in the usual place … I’ve been thinking about you … For heaven’s sake!’
‘Justin, stop!’
‘I want you out, Amy.’
‘Listen to me!’
‘No!’
‘Justin, please!’
‘Just get out of my life, Amy. I want you out of the apartment by tonight, is that clear? And I never want to see you again.’
‘Justin, are you going to let me explain?’ Amy sobbed.
‘Those emails are all the explanation I need. And to think, I sat at the table and ate dinner with you two! Honestly, Amy, was it all a lie? All that “Oh, I’ll never cheat on you, I’m not Natasha” bull?’
‘No!’ Amy wailed.
‘I don’t believe you.’
‘You have to, it’s true!’
‘I’m going now; I’ve got a gig to sort out. Don’t call back.’
‘Justin, wait!’
‘Goodbye, Amy.’
She thought he’d gone. She held her breath, waiting for the click on the other end of the line.
Instead, this:
‘Oh, and, Amy, your shoes?’
She had temporarily forgotten all about her shoes.
‘Y … yes?’
‘I sold them.’
What? It may have been a dodgy phone line, but had she just heard that correctly?
‘I sold the lot on eBay while you were
