has just come to read the gas meter.
I put the bed mat on the lawn because I felt it couldn’t stand being on the line while still wet. Some of the stitching is very rotten. It’ll be an enormous task mending it, darling, but I’ll bring the bag of bits and it’ll be something to do while you are sitting.
Boot was sick again, but very neatly, and there was a little patch of fur in the middle so maybe the vet was right after all.
Sorry I didn’t tell you about the dentist. I thought you looked a bit bleak when I got home. Forgot. Sorry. Of course, I was late leaving and I couldn’t find my keys. (They were on top of the fridge.) Then I lost my handbag. (I’d put it down by the front door.) I didn’t have time to come up.
I was running down Fawley Road when I noticed something odd about my left leg. A certain stiffness about the knee. I slowed down a bit and walked briskly on, thinking bleakly about old age. It wasn’t till I was sitting on the tube that I noticed a dingy clump of cotton sticking out of my left trouser leg. I tried to pretend it was perfectly normal to pull a pair of knickers out of my trouser leg and push them into my handbag.
I once dropped my handbag on the tube whereupon it burst open and scattered a packet of Tampax all over the floor in front of a large class of small boys from that posh prep school in Hampstead.
Do you think we should manufacture a pocket on your pinny a little higher up? For the aid, I mean. When you sat down at lunch it was under the table. You’ll have to bring it out and lay it down, trying always to have the little round speaker bit facing upwards—or outwards if it is clipped on to your pinny, and I think above waist level. (‘Where is that?’ you cry.) Up the ’orspital they said you might hear swishing noises from some materials you wear, and some fabrics crackle.
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