going to snap your fingers and get it for me?” Helen retorted, sorry she’d ever opened her big mouth.
“We could,” Dana Sue said. “In fact, if you would just open your eyes and see what’s staring you right in the face, you could have it all.”
Helen sighed. She’d seen this one coming a mile away. “Erik, I assume.”
“Well, of course, Erik,” Dana Sue said. “He’s smart. He’s gorgeous. And he’s hot for you.”
Maddie stared at her with obvious surprise. “Really? How did I miss that?”
“You’ve had other things on your mind,” Dana Sue said to Maddie. “You missed the kiss.”
“What kiss?” Maddie asked, clearly fascinated.
“Long story,” Dana Sue said. “Trust me, though it made me go home and throw myself at Ronnie.”
Helen moaned. “I am not having this conversation with you. And stop matchmaking. Erik and I are friends,” she said, then corrected herself. “Not even friends. We’re acquaintances.”
“Sweetie, if a man kisses you like that, you’re more than acquainted,” Dana Sue replied. “You’re about ten minutes away from falling into bed together.”
“Grace Wharton says Erik is a confirmed bachelor,” Helen countered.
“Nonsense,” Dana Sue said dismissively. “Just because she doesn’t have a line on his social life doesn’t mean he doesn’t have one.”
“If he has one, then what makes you think he has any interest in someone new?” Helen asked. “You can’t have it both ways. I think it would be best if you get over the whole idea of trying to shove Erik and me together. I know that’s why you’ve been coming up with all those excuses to have me pitch in at the restaurant. It’s not because you discovered I have hidden culinary talent.”
Dana Sue’s face was the picture of innocence. “We’ve been swamped every single time you’ve helped out, and you know it.”
“Then how come you never asked Maddie to pitch in? She actually knows how to cook. So does Ronnie, for that matter. You used to ask him.”
“Yes, why haven’t you asked me?” Maddie demanded.
“Because you’ve been pregnant off and on for most of the past two years,” Dana Sue answered. “You shouldn’t be on your feet. As for Ronnie, what little spare time he has now that his hardware store has taken off, he needs to spend with Annie.”
“Yeah, right,” Helen said skeptically. “Face it, Dana Sue. I know what you’re up to and I’m telling you right now to cut it out.”
“But I think—” Dana Sue began.
“Don’t think. Go home to your husband and drag him off to bed. Maybe if you’re not feeling sex-deprived, you’ll stop worrying about my love life.”
“Trust me, not an issue,” Dana Sue said, her cheeks flushed. “You’re my friend. I want you to be as happy as I am.”
“Me, too,” Maddie said.
“Then, please, just lay off about Erik and about me having a baby. I’ll work this out for myself when the time is right.”
“We just don’t want you to wake up when you hit fifty and realize that you have all these huge regrets,” Maddie said. “The saddest question of all is ‘What if…?’”
“You mean like what if I’d never mentioned to the two of you that I thought I wanted a baby?” Helen said testily.
Maddie frowned at her. “No, I mean like what if I’d realized how much I wanted one before it was too late. You can’t go back, then, Helen.”
The aching emptiness deep inside Helen, the ache she’d been trying so hard lately to pretend wasn’t there, came back with a vengeance.
“Believe me, I know that,” she said quietly. “It’s not something I’m ever likely to forget, which is why I’m under so much pressure. I know I can’t take forever to make this decision.”
“Then get those lists of yours and let’s talk about all the pros and cons,” Dana Sue prodded.
“But…” Helen began, only to sigh when both woman regarded her with unyielding expressions. “Okay, fine. I’ll get the lists.”
She grabbed her briefcase and fished through it ’til she found the legal pad she’d reserved for just this particular topic. Page after page had been covered with her notes, including everything she’d been told by the obstetricians she’d consulted. Though she was filled with reservations about this entire conversation, she handed her notes to Maddie, whose eyes widened as she flipped through the pages.
“You could write a Ph.D. thesis with this much research,” Maddie said.
“I thought it was critical to be well-informed,” Helen replied defensively.
Dana Sue looked over Maddie’s shoulder. “You consulted medical textbooks?” she asked incredulously.
“Well, of course, I did,” Helen replied. “You don’t think I’d rely on only two sources for something this important, do you?”
Dana Sue sat back down. “I think you’re overthinking this whole thing. That’s the problem. It comes down to this, Helen. Do you want to have a child of your own or don’t you?”
“It’s not that simple,” Helen protested. “I can’t just wave a magic wand and be pregnant.”
Dana Sue regarded her with a wicked grin. “Well, the right guy could.”
Maddie swallowed a laugh. “Dana Sue!”
“Well, isn’t that really the bottom line?” Dana Sue retorted.
“No!” Helen said. “I have to know with every fiber of my being that I want this, that I can make the kind of changes in my life that having a baby will require. You were both a lot younger when you got pregnant for the first time. You were married. It was the natural order of things, the right time in your lives. Now, especially for someone who’s spent her life so far married to her career, it’s not that easy. Heck, Maddie, even you wrestled with the decision to have another baby when you and Cal got married, and you had him to support your decision.”
“True,” Maddie conceded. “But I’m still trying to pin down what has you worried. Is it a fear that you’re incapable of devoting the time required to raising a child? Are you concerned just about the process of getting pregnant— natural versus artificial insemination? Are you wondering what will happen to your child if something happens to you? Or are you just afraid that you don’t want this enough to disrupt your life? If that last one is it, then you’re right to worry. This is not something to undertake unless you’re totally committed to it.”
Dana Sue reached over and took her hand. “You do know that we’ll both be around to support you every single step of the way, don’t you? You and this baby will have a big extended family. If you hit any kind of rough
