being so vital when he was in grade school, but the world was a hell of a lot different place when he was ten.
“Dad?” Kelly pressed. “What about a movie?”
“Sure,” he agreed easily enough. Why not? He’d been short-tempered all week, due mainly to the fact he was dealing with his feelings for Catherine. Kelly deserved a reward for putting up with his sour mood.
As for what was happening—or better said, what was not happening—between him and Catherine, Royce had rarely spent a more uncomfortable week. He couldn’t walk into the office without being aware of her. Her presence was like a time bomb silently ticking in the corner of the room. Every now and again their eyes would meet and he’d be left to watch the emotions race across the landscape of her dark brown eyes. With everyone around them in the office, there hadn’t been a problem. It was the evening run that tested his soul.
Every afternoon Royce told himself he wouldn’t run. Every afternoon, like precision clockwork, he was at the track, waiting for Catherine to arrive. They ran together, without speaking, without sharing, without looking at each other.
It was uncanny the comfort he found circling the track with the petite lieutenant commander at his side. The track was neutral ground, safe territory for them both. Those all-too-short minutes with Catherine were the reason he got out of bed in the morning, the reason he made it through the day.
When she smiled at him, Royce swore her eyes scored his heart. In the evenings when they’d finished jogging, Catherine would thank him for the workout and then silently return to her car. The moment she was out of sight, Royce was left feeling bereft. He hadn’t realized what poor company a disciplined life-style could make, and what poorer company the long, lonely nights in an empty bed could be. The desolation was as powerful as a blow to his gut.
The evenings were another matter. He almost feared sleep because the moment he slipped into unconsciousness, Catherine filled his mind. She was soft and warm, and so real that all he had to do was reach out and draw her to his side. Royce would never have guessed his mind would play such cruel tricks on him. He was having trouble enough keeping Catherine at a distance, emotionally and physically. In sleep, his mind welcomed her, tormenting him with dreams he couldn’t control. Dreams of Catherine running toward him on the beach, holding her arms out to him. Catherine feminine and soft in his embrace. Catherine laughing. Royce swore he never heard a sound more beautiful in all his life.
If there was anything to be grateful for, and it was damn little, it was the fact the dreams had never developed into anything even remotely physical between them.
In the mornings, Royce woke annoyed with himself, annoyed at Catherine for refusing to leave him alone and irritated with the world. With all the strength of his will, which was admittedly formidable, Royce pushed all thoughts of the lieutenant commander from his mind.
For as long as Catherine was under his command, all Royce could indulge himself in were involuntary dreams. He refused to allow himself the pleasure of recapturing the fantasy of him and Catherine alone together in quiet moments. Unhurried moments. With no demands. No deadlines. Moments when his heart and his soul were at rest.
Life could be a cruel hoax, Royce sharply reminded himself. He’d been taught that time and time again. He wasn’t about to lose everything that was important to him over a woman, even if she did have eyes that looked straight through him.
The mall was crowded, but then it generally was on weekends, especially now that folks were gearing up for Christmas. Royce allowed Kelly to drag him into the J. C. Penney store. But that was only the beginning of the ordeal. The jacket she was so keen on had sold out in her size. The helpful salesclerk had phoned three other stores and there wasn’t a single one available. Even the catalog had sold out.
“I’m sorry, sweetheart,” Royce told her. She was bitterly disappointed and trying hard not to show it.
“Do you want to look around for a different coat?” Surely there was a father-of-the-year award for him in this offer. They’d spent nearly an hour on this wild-goose chase already, and Royce’s patience had worn paper thin.
Kelly sat on the wooden bench outside the department store, her head bent low. Royce was about to repeat the question when she shrugged.
“How about something to drink?” Royce was half an hour overdue for a cup of coffee.
Kelly nodded eagerly. She stood and slipped her small hand into his. She didn’t do that often, and Royce guessed she did so now needing his reassurance.
Royce bought her a Pepsi and himself a cup of fresh, hot coffee while Kelly scouted out a place for them to sit. Since it was close to noon, the tables were mostly occupied. They found one and sat down in the white wire chairs.
“Dad,” Kelly whispered excitedly, “look at that pretty lady over there.”
Hell, as far as Royce could see, the entire mall was filled with pretty ladies. “Where?”
“The one in the pink-and-green-and-blue jacket. Over there.” Knowing it was impolite to point, Kelly wiggled her index finger back and forth in the general direction of where she wanted him to look. “Look, she’s sorta walking toward us. Hurry and look before she turns away.”
As he’d mused earlier, life could be filled with cruel hoaxes, and it was about to play another one on him now. Before he even realized what he was doing, Royce was on his feet. “Hello, Catherine.”
“Royce.” Her dark eyes were bright with surprise as well, and frankly, she didn’t look any more pleased than he felt.
“How are you?” he heard himself ask stiffly.
“Fine.”
“Dad.” Impatiently, Kelly tugged on the hem of his leather jacket. “I like her coat…a whole lot.”
Royce watched as Catherine’s eyes momentarily left his and landed on Kelly. Once again surprise registered in the dark depths, but was quickly replaced by a gentleness and warmth that tightened strong cords around his heart. He’d never mentioned his daughter, and it was apparent she hadn’t known he’d been married. Maybe she thought he was married still.
“This is my daughter, Kelly,” Royce said, his voice low and throaty.
“Hello, Kelly. I’m Catherine.” She dragged her eyes away from him and held out her hand to his daughter. “Your dad and I work together.” She said this, Royce was convinced, as a reminder to them both. Hell, he didn’t need it.
“Your jacket is real pretty,” Kelly said quietly. She continued to tug on Royce’s sleeve until he was convinced she’d pulled the armhole down to his elbow.
“What Kelly would like to know is where you bought it,” Royce inserted dryly.
“And if they have kid sizes?” the ten-year-old asked excitedly.
“I got it right here in the mall, in Jacobson’s.”
“Dad,” Kelly said, pushing aside her drink, “let’s go look, okay?”
Royce glanced longingly at his coffee. He’d barely had time to take a single sip. Kelly was looking at him as if to say Jacobson’s was sure to sell out in the next ten minutes if they didn’t get there.
“I don’t know
