until I came home from my club one night and my wife told me the new Vicar had called. She said, “He’s got beautiful yellow eyes and a harsh ugly voice and he’s not sure how to behave and I’m mad about him!” Well, my wife’s always had a soft spot for clergymen so I didn’t take her too seriously, but then next Sunday when he preached his first sermon I suddenly saw what all the fuss was about. I was used to dozing during the sermons, but this time I stayed awake all the way through – and in fact at the end I was sitting on the edge of my pew. Damn it, I can even remember the text! It was: “I am not come to call the righteous, but sinners to repentance”, and when he was hammering home his message his voice seemed to make the church vibrate and his eyes glowed like a cat’s. Extraordinary. Of course I saw at once he was going to go a long way.’
‘What did you think when you had the chance for a private conversation with him?’
‘I was surprised how shy he was – shy and awkward. He spoke all right; Oxford had ironed out any suburban accent, but he had the trick of either talking too much and too aggressively or else not talking at all. However that was just nervousness. Once my wife took him up and petted him and tried to marry him off he very quickly blossomed. All he needed was a bit of social self-confidence.’
‘Perhaps Oxford had given him a chip on his shoulder.’
‘More than likely, yes. The Varsity can be hard going for someone who doesn’t have the right background – well, I must admit to a bit of prejudice against him myself during the early days of our acquaintance, but then one day he spoke up to me; it was a criticism, a justifiable criticism too, I might add, and suddenly I thought: it took courage to say that. And I respected him for it. He was no sycophant. He was willing to accept a bit of patronage in the form of my wife’s kindness but he wasn’t going to let that stop him speaking the truth as he saw it. Very exceptional. A man of high moral principle. He’s deserved his great success.’
‘How very gratifying it must have been for your wife to see her protégé go all the way to the top of the Church of England!’
‘Yes, I always say she made a small but significant contribution to his career. He needed someone who would invite him to the right dinner parties and ensure he developed the essential poise his position required. Mrs Welbeck and Lady Markhampton also helped him in that way, but Evelyn was the one who did the most.’
‘Your wife’s just been telling me about Dr Jardine’s devoted band of Lovely Ladies – I must say, I’m deeply envious!’
The Earl laughed. ‘I have moments of envy myself! Do you know either Mrs Welbeck or Lady Markhampton?’
‘I’m sorry to say I don’t.’
‘They’re both charming. But to tell you the truth the Lovely Lady I really fancied in the old days was Loretta Staviski. No doubt my wife mentioned her. She’s arriving from America next weekend to stay with us, and I’m greatly looking forward to seeing her again.’
There was a silence. The river went on flowing and in the meadows the cows continued to graze. I looked at the Earl, who was still peering into the water for a glimpse of a fish; I looked back at the Countess who was still sketching by the herbaceous border, and at last I heard myself enquire in the most casual voice I could muster: ‘No, your wife didn’t mention her. Who is she?’
‘Who does not know that no clergyman, however hard-working and devoted, can maintain his spiritual influence if his domestic life be ill-ordered and unhappy?’
HERBERT HENSLEY HENSON
Bishop of Durham 1920–1939 The Bishoprick Papers
I
When I returned to Lady Starmouth I found her looking critically at her sketch. ‘I’m afraid this is no good,’ she murmured. ‘I seem to have lost my touch … How were the fish?’
‘According to your husband they’re all either asleep or dead.’ For a moment I remained motionless, watching her. Then I said casually, ‘Lady Starmouth, I hope you won’t think me impertinent, but may I ask why, when you were telling me about Dr Jardine’s Lovely Ladies, you failed to mention Professor Staviski?’
Lady Starmouth’s reaction was swift. ‘Loretta?’
‘Your husband’s just mentioned her. There were four of you, weren’t there? Not just three.’
‘Only for a short time, during the War.’ Lady Starmouth tore the sketch from the pad, crumpled the paper into a ball and put her pencil away in a wooden box. She said nothing else, and her silence was in such stark contrast to her earlier fluency that I felt obliged to say, ‘I’m sorry – obviously I’ve given you offence.’
‘My dear Dr Ashworth –’ Lady Starmouth spoke in the voice of one who finds herself in the most tiresome of dilemmas ‘– of course you haven’t given me offence! I’m merely annoyed with myself for not mentioning Loretta because, of course, it’s only natural that you should wonder why I left her out when I was prattling so freely about the Bishop’s past. However the truth’s very simple. I didn’t mention her because Alex hasn’t seen her since she returned to America in 1918 so she hardly qualifies now as one of his Lovely Ladies.’
‘She hasn’t visited England since then?’
There was another silence.
‘Forgive me, I’m being intolerably inquisitive –’
‘Pardonably inquisitive, you mean. Of course you’re wondering why I’m tying myself up in such knots.’ Suddenly and most unexpectedly she laughed. ‘Good heavens, anyone would think I had a guilty secret to hide whereas all I want to cover up is a little private embarrassment!’
‘Lady Starmouth, please don’t feel obliged to say another word! I’m only sorry that I –’
‘My dear young man, now you’re the one who’s behaving as if there’s a guilty secret to hide! I can see that the most sensible thing I can do is to enlighten you before you’re tempted to exercise a colourful imagination, but you must promise me you’ll be discreet. The story’s not scandalous, just sad, and I don’t want it repeated.’
‘I give you my word I shall hold everything you say in the strictest confidence.’
‘Very well, then let me say that Loretta has indeed returned to England for visits since the War, but she and Alex no longer have any communication with each other. I’m sorry to say that although Alex always treated her with absolute propriety Loretta fell in love with him and their platonic friendship went very disastrously wrong.’
II
‘Forgive me. Lady Starmouth,’ I said, ‘but in fact I’d been unable to resist wondering if Dr Jardine’s platonic friendships were just a little too good to be true. I still say that any clergyman who dabbles in close friendships with the opposite sex is playing with fire.’
‘Well, in this case I have to admit he got singed … Dr Ashworth, do sit down again – I find you disconcerting when you tower
