understood. To Edward it wasn’t just blood in a test tube. That human blood was his only tie to another person – to a family, in a sense.
I shook my head. ‘It doesn’t say. I’m sorry.’
He turned to the chemistry set, looking through my beakers and vials of supplies. Science, math, literature – these were the things Edward was comfortable with, things easily learned from a book. He made a good show at social interaction, using lines and scenes from obscure plays no one knew, but I didn’t think it ever came naturally to him.
‘We can figure it out together,’ I said softly. ‘We’ll cure both of us. It’ll just take time.’
‘Time is something I don’t have much of, I’m afraid,’ he said. ‘The longer I’m with the Beast, the more alike we become. I can feel him bleeding into me, trying to take over. I can still delay the transformations, but I’m not sure for how much longer. He could only hold his form minutes at first, a half hour at most. Now he can hold it for two hours.’ His eyes met mine over the flickering burner flame, and again I thought about how much darker they looked. ‘In another month, maybe less, I’m afraid he’ll take over completely.’
My lips parted. This was why he seemed bigger to me, and darker, and stronger. The Beast was melding with him. ‘Edward …’
‘I can’t let it get to that, Juliet. He’ll terrorize everything. If he would let me take my own life, I would. I’ve tried a dozen times, but he prevents me.’ He paused. ‘Montgomery nearly killed me, once.’ He looked away from the flame. ‘You shouldn’t have stopped him.’
‘Don’t say that,’ I whispered.
His flickering eyes found mine. ‘You know it’s the only possible end for me. I was never meant to exist.’
‘But you do exist, Edward. We’ll find the missing ingredient, and we’ll get rid of the Beast.’ I realized how desperate my voice sounded. Desperate for him, or desperate for me, now that I had someone in my life who shared my secrets?
‘Juliet …,’ he muttered, and brushed the back of his hand against my cheek.
Warmth bloomed where he touched me. For an instant I leaned into it, as starved for human contact as he was, and wicked temptations whispered in my head before I could twist away in shock at my own response. I was lonely, that was all, especially for someone I could talk to freely.
He killed Alice, I reminded myself, thinking of my father’s sweet young maid. He could kill you, if you get too close.
‘How did you survive the fire?’ I asked, as though we could pretend that touch had never happened.
‘The Beast is strong. He heals fast. I came to and was able to crawl out before the barn collapsed, and then I salvaged what I could from the house. The letters, for one.’
‘I want to see these letters.’
He nodded. ‘I’ll go back to the brothel and collect them. I must return anyway for the chains I use to bind myself and some changes of clothes.’
I chewed on a fingernail, pacing. ‘I want to help you, Edward, truly, but not if …’ I swallowed, thinking of those drained bodies. ‘Not if you keep killing people.’
‘I’ll fetch the chains in the morning. He’s weaker early in the day. If he has the choice, he prefers to emerge at nighttime.’
‘And tonight? Can you promise me no one else will die tonight?’
A flash of Annie Benton’s face, Sir Danvers Carew, the red-haired thief girl.
Edward went to my worktable and searched through the vials, coming back with a heavy dose of sedative. ‘Give me this, then,’ he said.
‘That much could kill you.’
‘You underestimate how strong I’ve gotten. It’s only for one night. Tomorrow I’ll have the chains.’ He held it out to me, and I took it hesitantly. I’d gotten it from a veterinarian who had told me it was used to sedate animals for transportation. If it would stop a lion, it would stop Edward.
‘Give me your arm,’ I said. ‘You’ll fall asleep in ten minutes, twenty at most.’ He held it out to me and I inserted the needle into a vein, telling myself there was no choice, that I was doing this so we wouldn’t wake up to any more bloody headlines in the newspaper. I rolled his sleeve back down gently. ‘One more thing. Promise me you won’t see Lucy again. You’re putting her in danger by being around her.’
He nodded a little hesitantly. ‘I’ll send her a note.’
I felt the weight of the unfinished conversation and finally asked the question that kept circling in my thoughts.
‘What happened to Montgomery?’
There was the pain again, sharp and quick, in my side, as though when Montgomery had shoved the dinghy away with his boot, he’d kicked my heart instead. I recapped the syringe, biting the inside of my cheek.
Edward didn’t respond right away, and my mind filled with answers he wasn’t saying. Perhaps he’d killed Montgomery, or one of the beast-men had. Or Montgomery was still there, on the island, content never to see me again.
‘He’s alive,’ Edward said at last, but I could tell he was holding something back. ‘He hunted me for weeks on the island. I left him notes, trying to get him to give me a chance to explain … I thought maybe he could help me find a cure. But he was only interested in hunting me down, and I knew sooner or later he’d have his chance, and he wouldn’t win. The Beast is too strong. So I left, to come here and find a cure before my other half killed him.’
I toyed with one of the silver forks in the pile of stolen silverware, watching the glints from the lantern. He stepped closer, dropping his voice. ‘Forget him, Juliet. He abandoned you. He was keeping secrets from you.’
I glanced up from the fork. ‘Secrets?’
‘That he was helping your father, that he’d made some of the creatures himself, and worst of all …’ He stopped and looked away.
‘What secret?’ I asked. When he didn’t answer, I let the fork clatter to the floor and grabbed his suit lapel a little roughly. ‘What other secret was Montgomery keeping from me, Edward?’
‘It doesn’t matter. You loved him, and he left you. I’d never do that to you. I’d sooner cut off my own hand than do anything to cause you pain.’ My fingers were still coiled in the stiff fabric of his lapel, and he whispered, ‘If you’d only give me a chance …’
But I stepped back toward the cabinet, away from his promises and his offers. My breath was coming fast. The world was an upside-down place when Montgomery James was keeping secrets from me and Edward Prince telling me the truth.
But Edward was right – Montgomery had lied to me. He had left me.
I grabbed my coat before he could say another word, and said, ‘The professor will have half the city out looking for me. It’s so late … I must get back. I’ll leave Sharkey here with you; the drugs will put you to sleep in a few minutes, so lock the door behind me. If you aren’t too groggy tomorrow, go through Father’s journal – maybe you can make
