I have your breakfast sent up?’ she asked. As soon as the chill air in the bedchamber cooled her cheeks she’d dress.
‘That would be nice. It was Darleston,’ Lyle said with a sigh. ‘I had his cock in my mouth and he tasted absolutely divine.’
Emma snatched an ornament off the mantel. Her fist clenched the slender figurine, as for a moment she was convinced that Lyle had deliberately intended to vex her. She stared at her hand, trying to comprehend the violence of her response. She wasn’t normally given to rash actions, but then neither was she invested in any person enough to experience pangs of jealousy over their affections. Emma closed her eyes and breathed slowly until the tension drained from her body and she was able to uncurl her fingers. Thank heavens Darleston would only be part of their lives for a short while. She glanced at Lyle and realised that, in his wistfulness, he was merely thinking aloud. It was hardly the first time he’d shared inappropriate thoughts or descriptions with her. When they were home alone, it even amused her.
* * *
The more thought Emma gave to the prospect of living even a short while with Lord Darleston in the same house, the more terrified she became. What if Lyle recognised her desire? How would it change their relationship?
Her hands shook so hard during breakfast that she gave up trying to crack the shell of her soft-boiled egg and left it and the rest of her food untouched. A walk ought to have made things better, but the heavens opened as she stood upon the entrance steps. Thick grey clouds promised a heavy, lengthy downpour, which left her stuck in the library, flitting ghost-like between the shelves seeking escape, when there was no place to escape to.
Lyle’s words echoed between her earholes as if her skull were devoid of matter. She’d been aware of several of her husband’s previous lovers. She’d known their names, their families and backgrounds. Never once had she felt threatened by their existence. Nor had she counted them as anything other than blessings. While Lyle was taking his pleasures elsewhere he wasn’t making demands upon her.
Her gaze again strayed through the open door into the billiards room, where the men stood around the table conducting what sounded very much like a plan of war. Her father’s voice rose above the others.
‘As soon as this infernal rain stops I’ll take you down to see him. I want you gentlemen to get a feel for his character before the event.’
‘Aye, but what about the Welshman? Will there be a chance to assess him before the fight?’
‘Of course. Of course. We’ll see what we can do.’ Her father guided Mr Bathhouse towards the rear of the room, leaving her with an unobstructed view of Lord Darleston holding a billiards cue. Since he’d been nursing it for a good twenty minutes without taking a shot, it seemed he merely held it to provide comfort.
She oughtn’t to have been looking, but her gaze kept straying from the printed words upon the page of her book to the frontfall of his breeches. She saw it not as it was but open, Lyle upon his knees, his mouth wrapped around the thick firm rod that lay beneath. Lyle had touched what she wanted, when she’d never wanted anything before. Not like this. She’d never wanted to press her fingertips to the warm flesh of another living soul. Not since – she shook her head – not since … She needed no reminder.
Darleston would be warm, not cold, the vibrancy of his pulse a flicker of heat running just below the skin. He’d taste of brandy and sin, and of all the wicked things in the world that one ought not to do. He was sin. Her sin. One big package of impiety, from the ends of his fiery locks to the sculpted perfection of his coat-tails, and just standing there waiting to be unwrapped. If God could have sent her a gift, then Darleston was surely it.
Emma dropped the book and twisted her fingers in her hands. Pure awareness of his presence needled her so much she had to scratch. The rasp of her nails felt impossibly good, but didn’t dissipate any of her irrational need. Some strange part of her that she could barely comprehend longed to stride over to him and comment on the firmness of his bottom. Truthfully, she wanted to say arse, but to hear such a crudity from her would turn her father milk-pale. Not that making a remark about his bottom would be much better.
If she offered to walk with Darleston as Lyle had done, and then fell on her knees in turn, would Darleston allow her to take his prick in the same way?
Was it possible to touch someone and to make them understand that you required no recompense, no like for like? She couldn’t bear hands upon her skin. Not even his. Not for a moment. But perhaps she could tolerate the movement of her hands over his body. After all, she’d be in control of that.
Damn, she had to stop looking at him. She jerked her gaze away, only for it to return a second later. She couldn’t help it. There was something about him that called to her. Something incomprehensible. Damn, she had to stop damning in her head. It was uncouth – and damnation – had Darleston even noticed her existence? Did he recall their conversation last night, or had their tête à tête been obliterated by memories of pleasure and her husband’s unfaithful mouth?
‘Emma – whatever’s the matter? You look as if you’ve been cooked.’ Amelia hurried over to her side.
Emma immediately stopped her scratching in order to ward off her sister’s approach. Amelia never could resist poking at her. The notion that her overzealous affection might be unwelcome seemed to pass her by. Not that she didn’t dearly love her sister, but, heavens, she did wish they wouldn’t fuss over her.
‘I’m quite fine. Just hives. Horsehair does always set me off.’ She scowled at the library furniture. ‘I’ve some lavender cream I can put on. It’ll soothe it.’
She left as quickly as she could without seeming to flee, painfully aware of Amelia’s gaze upon her back as she hurried towards the stairs. If her sister latched onto her irrational thoughts, it would be worse by far than Lyle finding out. Lyle understood discretion. Amelia understood nothing but her own need for entertainment.
‘Mrs Langley.’
Emma squeaked in alarm and clutched the banister. She leapt up the bottom few stairs before turning her head to see who called, although she already knew. His voice sent a dart of energy right through her midriff. Lord Darleston stood in the lobby. Emma remained stock still, fingers locked tight around the wooden rail, while her heart thumped against her ribcage.
‘Mrs Langley. The others are heading off to see Mr Johnstone. As I’m not so eager for that pleasure, I wondered if you’d show me the amphitheatre that is to be the stage for the bouts instead. I understand it’s located amongst the woodland.’
‘The amphitheatre?’ she gasped. She sounded choked even to herself.
‘Only if it wouldn’t cause you any trouble. I imagine I can find it myself if I’m pointed in the right direction. I realise it’s an imposition, it still being rather wet.’
Had the rain even properly stopped? More than likely this was a mere break in the clouds.
‘No, that’s fine. That’s not a problem. I’ll just fetch a shawl.’
Why should a little rain keep them indoors?
Why was she so excited over the prospect of wading through wet woodland with him?
‘Maybe you could see if that vagabond of a husband of yours has risen and would care to join us,’ Darleston hollered after her, affection evident in his voice.
‘Of
