I particularly like the fetching penis deely boppers and magic wands they've put on yours.”
Edie was horrified. Not the boppers.
Edie was shaking, her teeth chattering. Frantically she looked around her and peeked under the duvet.
No boppers. No chain.
She checked again just to make sure.
“Oh, you won’t see it.”
Jessica’s superior voice was beginning to grate on Edie’s already frazzled nerves.
“But believe me,” she rattled her chain spewing more pink glitter over the duvet, “it is much, much longer.”
Edie couldn't see the end of Jessica's chain; it stretched from the bed and through the closed door to the room.
And hers was longer?
“But we aren’t evil people, Jessica. We sent all those wedding gifts and some bloody expensive ones too. We gave up our weekends and went to all the hen parties and all the weddings, even the ones we knew weren’t going to last. We said all the right things. And we get this?” Edie pointed at the chain. “Tell me it isn’t true,” she implored.
“Empty gestures, Edie. When did we ever congratulate them from the heart? We shut ourselves off from their happiness and our own. We had withering hearts behind our withering put downs. You remember don’t you? All those conversations and bets on who would be divorced first. We said how stupid they all were for believing in fairytales. And how we knew better. Well at least they did believe. Because I’m stuck carrying this chain on my own. Alone. For eternity.”
The ghoul shook its chain and sniffed back tears.
Edie shivered at the misery that came off it in waves.
“But you have a chance, Edie. You can change.” The spirit eagerly leaned towards her as she spoke.
“But how?” asked Edie.
“You will be haunted,” Jessica the ghost said, “by three Spirits.”
She was going to be haunted by more ghosts? This wasn’t happening. She was going mad. Maybe she needed to take some time off. She hadn't had a holiday in years.
“Three Spirits?” she said.
Jessica nodded.
“And this is my chance?” she asked falteringly.
“Yes.”
“My only chance?”
“Yes.”
“No other way?”
“No, if you don’t do this…” the ghost paused and then gestured down towards her outfit. Edie shuddered; the peach shiny dress and the pink glitter encrusted chain made her feel ill.
“Expect the first tomorrow, when the bell tolls one.”
“Can’t I take them all at once? I mean three nights of interrupted sleep are going to play hell with my work schedule,” Edie hinted.
The spirit Jessica ignored her.
“Expect the second a week later at the same hour; and the third in a fortnight. Edie, please, for your own sake remember this.” The ghoul stood as she said this and wrapped her chain around her arm.
A set of fairy wings fluttered against a pair of devil's horns.
“I’ve got two weeks of this?” Edie’s voice rose an octave or two.
“Better two weeks now than an eternity later,” The ghoul retorted.
When it was put like that…
“Will I see you again?” Edie asked.
Did she want to see Jessica again? She hadn’t been overly keen on her when she was alive. But maybe she could have someone to talk things over with after the haunting? Edie was used to dealing with things alone, but this was huge.
“No, this was my one chance to right some of my wrongs. My one chance to save you from the same fate,” The spirit walked towards the window, heels tapping and chain scraping.
“Remember Edie, it’s all in the small print of the Ts and Cs. Let the love in.” The spirit paused. “I can’t believe the crap they’ve got me saying,” Jessica muttered as the sash window flung itself up and open of its own accord and she stepped out.
Edie threw back the covers and rushed to the window.
Hovering just over the sill, Jessica stared back at her.
“Remember!” she wailed and turning joined the throng of similarly clad women and morning-suited men who suddenly appeared. Glitter, fairy wings, handcuffs and dodgy hats filled the air.
“Remember!”
The ghoul rushed away from Edie and up over the rooftop of the mansion block opposite. And then she and the rest of the wedding crazed ghosts were gone.
“Madness,” Edie whispered. “Complete and utter madness. That chicken must have been off.”
But still she slammed the window shut and double-checked the locks. She leapt back into bed and pulled the duvet up to her chin. She absently picked at her manicure.
“It was just a dream, just a dream,” she repeated to herself, ignoring the glint of pink glitter that dusted the end of her bed.
She was still saying that under her breath as she marched through the reception area of the office the next morning. Edie ignored the receptionist cringing behind the large wood and chrome desk, she forgot to sling her usual scathing comment on the state of the poor woman’s dress or that she’d let the flower arrangement droop.
“It was just a dream,” she said softly while she waited for the lift.
Edie had already said it as she sat up in bed, as she showered, as she dressed, as she made breakfast and in a frothy white mumble as she brushed her teeth.
The lift arrived empty, for which she was thankful. She especially didn't want to deal with people this morning. She got in, jabbing the button for her floor.
As the doors were about to close a large be-suited arm, stopped them.
Damn it. She shifted to the side without looking up.
“It was just a dream,” she whispered to herself. “I must cut down on meat."
“I did that, did me the world of good but there were times I’d kill for a steak or a bacon sandwich,” a deep voice said in her left ear.
