Stop! This isn’t the way that it is supposed to go. Weddings are supposed to be the happiest days of people’s lives. This is a disaster.
Scooping up my emergency wedding bag I follow the bride, whose sobbing can still be heard. I’ll do my best to sort this somehow, but I think it might take more than headache tablets and a sewing kit.
Sam has locked herself in the bathroom of the honeymoon suite.
‘Sam,’ I tap on the door, ‘it’s Robyn. Let me in, please.’
‘It’s no good.’ The bridesmaid shakes her head. ‘She won’t listen.’
But I am Miss Fix-it Extraordinaire. A superhero. Wedding Planner Woman. As well as knowing where to find the best antique lace or freshest flowers, I also have peace-keeping skills that would land me a job at the UN.
Luckily.
‘Sam, this is your special day,’ I say, through the door. ‘Yours and Adam’s. You are the bride. Everyone is looking at you, not your parents.’
There’s another sob.
‘The guests are taking their cue from you,’ I continue. ‘If you dry your eyes and come back down they’ll think it’s all blown over, I promise. Honey, it’s up to you: you can stay here and I’ll send the guests away, or you can dry your eyes and join poor Adam. He’s your husband now and he really needs you down there.’
‘Really?’ she says. Or at least I think she does. It’s hard to tell because her voice is so clotted with tears.
‘Really,’ I say firmly. ‘It’s your call, Sam.’ I cross my fingers and hold my breath.
There’s the sound of a key turning and the door swings open. Sam, bottom lip wobbling, make-up smeared all over her face, is perched on the edge of the bath.
‘I’m a mess,’ she hiccups. ‘My face is ruined.’
‘Nothing we can’t fix.’ I take her chin between my thumb and forefinger and gently wipe the tears away with a face wipe from my magic box of wedding-saving tricks. Once her face is clean I pull out my emergency make-up bag. ‘I’ll have you looking as good as new, I promise.’
Sam takes a shaky breath. ‘Thanks, Robyn. What would I have done without you today?’
‘All part of the service, hon,’ I say.
I squeeze tinted moisturiser onto a sponge and set to work. Thanks to Pat and his antics I’m an expert at restoring tear-stained cheeks to peachy glory.
After ten minutes Sam feels brave enough to venture back to the reception. Luckily everything seems to have calmed down. The DJ has arrived and is playing a selection of upbeat 80s tunes. Fortunately, the Ellis seniors are nowhere to be seen. Sam, every inch the dignified bride again, rejoins Adam with a tender kiss, while the caterers whiz around filling champagne flutes for the toast. Helping myself to one I gulp it gratefully, relief and alcohol hitting my bloodstream in equal measure.
Next time I need an adrenalin rush I’ll take up something more sedate than wedding planning, like bungee jumping or white-water rafting.
From across the room Patrick catches my eye, grins at me and raises that trademark eyebrow.
‘Jaysus!’ he mouths.
And I must admit, I couldn’t have put it better myself.
May
‘Welcome to Swing Heaven!
The place to be if you’re passionate about swing dancing!’
At last, I think, scrolling down the advertisement. My internet quest to locate a swing dancing course has certainly opened my eyes. I’ve not exactly led a sheltered life but some of the websites that popped up on my computer practically turned the monitor blue.
Maybe I was asking for trouble typing ‘swing’ into the search engine.
‘I want to Lindy Hop,’ I mutter, ‘not bed hop.’
Swing Heaven is a great way to keep fit. Come along and begin a love affair with the 1950s dance craze.
My love affair with the 1950s began ages ago. It’s more like an obsession.
I scan the details: the class takes place in an adult education centre only a few streets away from my favourite bespoke lace shop. Making a mental note to sign up the next time I’m in the area, I exit the advert and surf for a bit; anything to distract me from the fact that I’m a freelance wedding planner with no weddings in sight. So much for having my career sorted out by Christmas!
With mammoth self-control I log out without checking eBay. Once I land some really big clients I’ll bid away on vintage goods to my heart’s content. When Perfect Day is right up there with major players, like Hester Dunnaway’s Catch the Bouquet, I’ll treat myself to something really special. And I’ll be a major player by Christmas. Well, that’s the plan …
I shut down the computer and spin around in my wheelie chair, chewing thoughtfully on my pencil. Despite being friends with my mum, Hester hasn’t taken particularly well to my leaving her employment to set up my own wedding agency. Probably because now she has to do her own dirty work, like tracking down errant grooms who have disappeared in Magaluf; dragging a six foot four male by the elbow was the least fun I have ever had in a bar! Defecting Russian spies probably get a warmer reaction from the KGB than I do from Hester these days. Luckily she operates out of her plush office in Fulham while I’m working from my kitchen in Ladbroke Grove so our paths haven’t crossed much. But she’s let it be known to mutual contacts that I’m no threat to someone with her experience and connections. Unfortunately she seems to be right because so far only friends of friends and family have employed Perfect Day to arrange their weddings. The A-list celebrities have yet to call.
‘What I really need,’ I say aloud, ‘is a really high-profile wedding to put Perfect Day on the map.’
Of course there’s nobody to reply apart from Poppy, Gideon’s dog, and she is fast asleep under my desk. I’m not sure how it’s happened but since I began to work from home I’ve become an unofficial dog-sitter. Gideon and James work long hours so it’s become a daily routine to drop Poppy off with me when they set off for work. So as well as being Wedding Planner Woman, I’m also Doggy Day Care Girl! But I don’t mind. Gideon, the finance director of the high-class homeware company, Impressions, has been brilliant in helping me set up the business. I’ve picked his brains for months and he’s spent hours helping me with my business plan and accounts. Dog-sitting is the least I can do.
I haul myself out of my chair and fill the kettle. While it boils I lean on the window sill and watch the world outside. I love my flat in Ladbroke Grove. Gideon and James have the garden flat and I rent the top one from them. It’s expensive, but the hike up the four flights of stairs is more than compensated for by the roof terrace and views over the treetops towards Portobello Road and Notting Hill. I’ve yet to bump into Hugh Grant but a girl can live in hope, can’t she?
‘Come on,’ I say to Poppy, ‘Wake up. If you’re lucky you might even get a walk on the Heath.’
