closed up. I could tell he was pissed.
‘Maybe the weekend after next?’ I suggested, more to cheer him up than anything.
‘Yeah, yeah. I won’t hold my breath. It’s not haunted, you know. I know you said it freaks you out, but Jess isn’t there, I promise.’
‘I know. I’m sorry.’ I felt bad about lying to him about that.
‘I wish she did haunt it,’ he said, a pink line of milkshake framing his top lip.
‘Funny thing to wish,’ I said, still feeling awful. I reached out to thumb away the mark from his mouth.
‘I know. Sometimes you just need someone to talk to who’s not your parents, don’t you? Like a big sister.’
I reached out to him and pulled his hand towards me. I held it between both mine. ‘You can always talk to me.’
‘Yeah, I know,’ he said, with a smile. ‘So, you’ll come for lunch next Sunday then?’
I sank back in my chair. ‘Your mum always cooks everything in tons of lard.’
‘You can just have the veg, can’t you?’
‘Oh, cheers. I’d rather just be with you anyway, not all your family.’
‘It’s not all my family. It’s just my aunts and uncles. And we don’t have to stay with the olds all afternoon, do we? We can go into town, or across to the island, or something?’
That gave me actual chills, despite the warmth of the restaurant. ‘No, not the island.’
‘We could hire a boat like we used to.’
‘I don’t want to hire a boat like we used to.’
‘All right, all right.’ He threw down his half-eaten teacake and sat back.
‘There’s just no point, is there? There’s nothing to see. Just trees and a few old rocks.’
‘It doesn’t matter, does it? We can just go there for some alone time. We used to spend whole days there when we were kids.’
‘Yeah, well. We’re not kids any more, are we?’ Max’s face was still doing that scrunched-up thing. ‘I’ll come over for lunch soon, I promise.’
‘How about when the new car’s there? That weekend, yeah? Please? I’ll tell Mum to do your potatoes in Fry Light. She won’t mind.’
‘OK. I’ll change my training schedule that weekend.’
His face lightened at once, but I could feel my forearms heating up – my rash was coming on. It was always worse in summer. He reached across the table for my hand and just held on to it for the longest time. As my stress levels dropped, my body cooled, with a comforting sweep of goosebumps.
‘Anyway,’ he said, fiddling with something under the table and pulling out a small turquoise box and a large white envelope. ‘This is for you. Just to say I love you to Pluto and back.’ He handed them to me.
I couldn’t hold back my smile. ‘Not the Moon?’
‘Pluto’s further away, innit?’ He stuffed the second half of his teacake in his mouth and grinned crumbily at me.
I set down the envelope and opened the box. Inside, on a crushed velvet bed, was a silver chain with a solid silver teddy pendant in the middle. ‘Oh, it’s gorgeous.’
‘Cos I gave you a teddy bear on our first date.’ He took the necklace from the box, coming round to my side of the table. The original bear was still on the shelf above my bed – a little koala he’d brought back from Australia after one of his many holidays.
I felt the cold chain graze my neck, and the even colder metal of the teddy bear slide and come to rest at the base of my throat. Max did up the clasp. I looked down to see it and moved the teddy’s little arms and legs. The box said ‘Tiffany’.
‘This looks expensive, Max.’
‘It’s fine.’
‘Your dad gave you a loan, didn’t he?’ I said, unable to mask my disappointment.
‘Well, yeah – but when I start here next month, I can pay him back. It’s cool.’
Max was such a sponger where Neil was concerned. He never had to work for anything. He’d coasted through his GCSEs because Neil said he could just work for him at the garden centre. He was only doing A levels because I nagged him to. My dad said he could be so much more if he ‘applied himself’. The thing was, even when Max didn’t apply himself he got grades most kids would kill for. It was so annoying.
‘So it’s not actually from you, it’s from your dad, isn’t it?’ I said. ‘Same as your driving lessons, your car, our Glastonbury tickets…’
‘Do you like it?’ he said.
‘Yes,’ I said, touching the teddy bear – a mistake, as he spotted my scabby knuckles.
‘Christ, what happened to your hands?’
I toyed with telling him the truth, but then thought better of it. ‘I fell over on the track a few days ago.’
‘How did you manage to fall on the backs of your hands?’ He lifted up my other one and looked at it, gently tracing his fingertips over the scabs. ‘This one’s even worse.’
‘I tripped. I think my new spikes are too big.’ I flexed my fingers – the deep ache was still there, but if I didn’t concentrate on it too much, it didn’t matter. Quickly, I diverted his attention back to the necklace. ‘This is beautiful. Thank you.’
I opened the envelope. Inside was an oversized card, covered in pictures of us. He must have spent ages sticking them down, shaking on glitter. There were pictures of us on swings. Our school Nativity, with me as Mary, with a cushion up my dress and Max as the innkeeper, with a scribbly black beard. Selfies in Starbucks. Selfies outside the arena in Cardiff waiting to see The Regulators. Selfies on bonfire night in woolly hats and scarves. Snuggly Duddlies in our Christmas onesies. There was one photo he hadn’t cropped – it was a day we’d spent on the island with some other kids we used to hang around with – Zane, Corey and Fallon. We all had wet hair and chocolate or jam around our mouths, and we were all laughing.
‘God, look at us,’ I said. My throat grew sore.
‘Yeah. I didn’t want to cut that one up,’ said Max. ‘I love that picture.’
‘Me too,’ I said, clearing my throat. I never saw them any more. Even though we’d all gone to the same school, walked the same streets, breathed the same salty air, we were virtual strangers now. Zane had turned out to be the world’s biggest bully, we hadn’t seen hide nor hair of Fallon since the funeral, and though Corey still lived just down the road from me, we rarely spoke any more. Weird, wasn’t it? One day spending every second of the holidays together, the next barely acknowledging each other’s existence.
I opened the card. The message
