I said that I would ask Katie, though to be honest I didn’t really think we wanted anything about horses, I mean it wasn’t a horsy mag, and I definitely didn’t think I wanted Lily interfering.
“Well, just let me know,” said Lily. “I could do you a really good article about riding boots.”
She looked at Mum quite boldly as she said this. Mum snapped, “I don’t wish to hear another word! If you want to go down to Francine’s again at Easter, my girl, you had just better watch your step!”
So after that, Lily started being all polite. Unnaturally polite. Like everything was please and thank you and could I possibly. And always with this big bright beam to show how charming she was being. Sickening, really.
One day she came home from school and said that Debbie’s dad was going to take Debbie into town on Saturday and they were going to go on the London Eye and Debbie had asked Lily if she’d like to go with them.
“Of course I said I’d have to ask my mum,” gushed Lily, beaming away as hard as she could.
“You can go on the Eye,” said Mum. “I have no objections to that.”
“Oh, how darling!” cried Lily.
Mum gave her this long look, then slowly shook her head.
“She could come, if she wanted,” said Lily. “I don’t s’ppose Debbie would mind.”
“Violet? Would you like to?” said Mum.
I would have done, quite. But I just knew that Lily was only saying it to get in Mum’s good books. She didn’t really want me.
“Just say,” said Lily. “You’ve only got to say.”
“‘S all right,” I said. “I’ve got things to do.”
“Violet? Are you sure?” said Mum.
“I’ve got to write a short story,” I said.
“Oh! Well.” Lily tossed her head. “If you’d rather write a short story —”
“I’ve got to,” I said. “I promised Katie.”
I went upstairs to my bedroom, thinking that I would do it straight away, but I couldn’t even get started! I kept thinking how I could have written a story about someone going on the London Eye, and wishing that I’d said I’d go. It would have been something to tell Katie! I am so stupid at times. I really annoy myself.
Dear Violet,
I have answered all your problems! I have done some pictures to go with them.
I thought that we could also, maybe, have some funny articles. But only if you feel like doing them. If you are not too busy with all your homework! I told Mum about your homework. She said, “And a good thing too!” She really approves of your school! Ours doesn’t really have homework too much, but I do lots of things with Mum, such as working out problems and reading books together. We do that quite often.
Hey, guess what? I have been invited to THREE PARTIES! Two are people in my class and one is a girl that lives over the road. I am really excited and wondering what to wear. Mum says we will go into town at the weekend and buy something. She has promised that I will get to choose! I said, “Can I choose whatever I like?” She said, “Anything so long as it is decent.” That means anything! ‘cos I wouldn’t want not to be decent, would you?
What I would really really REALLY like is this fab top I saw someone wearing, white with gold fringes, and these really swanky jeans with a sparkly belt. Oh, and some zip-up trainers! Pink ones. That is what I would REALLY like. I will tell you if I get them!!!
Must dash.
Oodles of love!
xxx Katie
PTO FOR PROBLEM PAGE.
[ANSWERS]
Dear Norah,
Do not despair! The solution is simple. FIND YOURSELF A PIN. A quick sharp JAB will soon deflate your sister’s head. Good luck!
Dear Scaredy Cat,
There are several things you can try. First off you could avoid going out on days when there is sunshine, then there would not be any shadow for you to be scared of. However, this may not always be convenient. How about suddenly spinning round and shouting “Boo!” very loudly and fiercely? That would see it off!
Alternatively you could try saying “Hi!” It might turn out to be friendly. You never know!
Dear Mouse,
Learn some kind of social skill. For instance you could:
Walk on your hands. But do make sure you are wearing clean knickers without any holes!
Juggle with plates. Though maybe oranges would be safer, just to begin with.
Belch in time to God Save the Queen. This would soon get people’s attention!
Try any of these and before you know it everyone will be desperate to talk to you!
Dear Katie,
I thought your answers to my problems were really funny! I love the idea of belching in time to God Save the Queen. I have tried doing it but I can’t belch! Lily can. She does it all the time and says it is quite easy. She has tried to teach me but all I do is gulp down air and make myself ill. Lily says I am useless. She says I have no social skills at all.
When are your parties that you are going to? I don’t know whether Lily and me will have a party this year. Last year when we had one Lily got hyper and threw Ribena all over the wall and trod on a glass and smashed the banisters. How she smashed the banisters, she was pretending to ride a horse. She was going “Giddyap, giddyap,” and kicking at the banister rails. Mum and Dad were just so furious with her! Mum said she was a vandal and Dad said she ought to live in a hole at the bottom of the garden. So I don’t know whether we will have one this year. But I want to hear all about your ones!
My news is that I am going to go on the London Eye. I think this will be quite exciting! I am going with a friend from school called Debbie. Her dad is taking us. I just hope I don’t get sick, which is what I usually do. Like one time when Dad took us on a Giant Octopus where you sat in this little pod thing at the end of a long arm, and the arm went up in the air like a big wheel and at the same time the little pod thing whizzed round and round incredibly fast. It made me feel sick as sick! I just couldn’t wait to get off. And then when I did, you’ll never guess what… I instantly threw up
