was sexy at the party, I didn’t know it would be for the last time. I could’ve walked out of Bananarama with my fuchsia mini dress, gold fishnet tights, pink shoes from Ravel and black chiffon scarf tied in a bow round my hair, which had been back-combed with half a tub of gel; I had heavy arches of pink eye crayon and fuchsia frenzy lipstick.
Ivan came with his new band and his flatmate Rez. He brought me a Matchbox Mini with a red bow round it.
Jana came with her summer fling, Piedro, a morose Portuguese student with bad teeth. He’s not circumcised, said Jana. Things are a bit baggy down there. It creeps me out.
Rachel turned up on her own. She’d gone to St Andrews to do law. We still had our summer jobs at the Swan Hotel but we were drifting apart. She was in with a posh crowd and had changed the way she talked.
Richard from next door came with his Barbie-doll girlfriend, Clare, who worked in his dad’s carpet shop. She kept giving me cold looks as if she knew that he used to touch my breasts when I was helping him with his calculus.
Callum, who used to sniff glue under Balloch bridge, brought his girlfriend, Roquia, an Asian goth who kept running away from home. Callum was now a photographer with the local paper.
Dribs and drabs of hippies and punks turned up. I recognised some of them from school.
Rita had made Sean promise he wouldn’t drink and made me promise that I would confiscate whatever he did try to drink. His friend brought a quarter bottle of Pernod which he later threw up on the hall carpet. They spent the night shrinking empty crisp packets in the oven – you made badges by putting safety pins on the back of the miniature shrunken bags.
Jana and Piedro had sex in the greenhouse. Jana sat on some bulbs and came back into the house with mud on her white jeans. Shit, my good jeans are ruined, she said. D’you think this’ll come out? That guy Callum’s weird. He was watching us having sex. He had his head pressed up against the glass the whole time. And he had a rose between his teeth.
Don’t mind Callum, I said. He’s harmless. Weird but harmless. Are the bulbs okay? Rita will go mad if you’ve ruined them.
She grinned. I had to re-pot them but they’re fine.
Jana, I hope you’re joking! I said.
Later, I found Callum stoned, lying on top of the coats in Sean’s bedroom. Why did you watch my friends having sex in the greenhouse? I asked.
Och, I was just having a laugh, he said. I couldn’t really see much. It was all steamed up.
Jana said you had a rose between your teeth.
I stole it from next door, he said. It just tempted me. Do you mind?
You’re mad, I said. Where’s Roquia got to?
I think she’s in the huff with me for flirting with Rachel. She’s away chatting up your boyfriend to get me back. He’s a handsome boy, by the way. I could shag him myself. Here, d’you fancy a draw? He handed me a soggy joint.
No thanks. (You could never be sure what Callum was smoking. It was probably mixed with dung or something.) I’m away to mingle. Don’t be sick on the coats.
D’you fancy a snog before you go?
Behave yourself, I said.
Has anyone ever told you you’ve got a dancer’s legs?
When the party started to fizzle out, Ivan and his friends got their guitars out. Callum kept requesting Bohemian Rhapsody but they ignored him so he paraded around singing all the parts himself. It’s too operatic for you, he said. That’s your problem, boys. Too fucking operatic.
We got to bed about five and Ivan and I had sex, jammed together in my single bed. He said he’d miss me like hell when I went away. Me too, I said. He hummed my favourite Leonard Cohen song and I fell asleep. The next morning I was up by eleven, opening all the windows and cleaning up. The others would’ve slept all day if I hadn’t woken them.
Piedro had sleeping bag zip marks on his face and was mooching around the kitchen. Sean was pretending that he had a hang-over to act tough – he’d hardly drunk a thing – and said he couldn’t eat anything. He went into the garden to get some air and came back and said the hollyhocks were broken. I went into the front garden to check. It looked like someone had gone over them on a bike. I snapped off the broken flowers and tried to ruffle up the leaves to get rid of the flatness and tyre marks. I knew it was Callum.
Mum’ll go mad, I said. And you can still see a stain where your friend was sick in the hall. You’ll need to put more disinfectant on it.
It’s stinking, said Sean.
I’m glad I’m going away next week, I said. Mum’ll have her stony face for days after this.
I went upstairs to finish hoovering, and Piedro made omelettes for everyone. He wasn’t as glaikit as he looked.
We’d filled six bin bags with rubbish from the party. I hoped the squirrels wouldn’t get them. It was the only thing that made Nab angry, litter strewn in the garden when the squirrels chewed the bags. He was always shouting at them, You bloody rodents with no respect!
I loved the squirrels. I loved the way they’d skite up the trees and along branches and down again.
Diarrhoea the day before we left. Pain like sharp sticks. A heavy headache that hurt my eyes. You’ll be fine, said Rita. It’s just nerves. Drink lots of water so you don’t get dehydrated.
Ivan and Rita and Nab saw us off at Central Station. I was worried the diarrhoea would come back when I was on the train. Rita went off to John Menzies to get me some Pan Drops. Peppermint’s good for you, she said, it’ll settle your stomach. You sound like Granny, I said.
A Polaroid snap of the occasion: me clinging to Ivan. See you at Christmas. I love you. Nab like a wall round me with his polar bear hug. Rita pressing the Pan Drops into my hand. Remember we love you. Phone us when you get there. Ivan whispering in my ear, Don’t shit yourself on the train. My mother wiping a tear away as the train jolts out. Nab’s arm round her. Ivan making a face, trying not to show emotion in front of them.
I was homesick by Preston and wanted to go back. You can’t be serious, said Jana. We are going to have a ball over there, my girl. This time next week you’ll be asking yourself, Who is Ivan anyway?
I doubt it, I said. Did I tell you we’ve agreed that we can kiss other people while I’m away, as long as we tell each other about it?
Jana rolled her eyes.
Won’t you miss Piedro at all? I asked. Won’t you miss his omelettes?
She started to laugh and couldn’t stop. Speaking of Piedro, she said, snorting, how are your skitters?
Poor Piedro. He’ll be pining for you all next term. And since you asked, the skitters seem to have dried up for the time being.
Great, she said. Everything’s just hunky dory. Yes, we are going to have a ball, my girl. A veritable ball!
We
