17. When the Night Meets the Morning Sun
18. Back in the Foetal Position
21. She Who Is Tired of London
25. Somebody That I Used to Know
27. Here’s What You Could’ve Won
‘Out-Breaks’ – Scenes From the Cutting-Room Floor
‘What does not kill me makes me stronger’
(Nietzsche)*
* just how many break ups did you have, Freddy?
The Rules of Break-up Club – ‘To our members, we’re the first emergency service’.
#1 – The first rule of Break-up Club is, you do not talk about Break-up Club.
#2 – The second rule of Break-up Club is, you do not talk about Break-up Club with your ex.
#3 – If this is your first night at Break-up Club, you will be expected to cry.
Uncontrollably.
#4 – Meetings take place once a week, every Sunday.
#5 – Each member must be prepared to perform Initiation (otherwise known as Brunch Duty). You shall deliver croissants and a smile to the residence of a new recruit on their First Weekend As A Singleton.
#6 – No Face-Stalking. Exes should be de-friended no later than 48 hours after a break-up. Phone numbers should be deleted or re-saved under the name ‘Don’t Answer’.
#7 – Members must be prepared to drop everything in the event of a Crisis Meeting. Common triggers range from a member relapsing with an ex, to an outbreak of F.I.H. (Facebook-Induced Hysteria).
#8 – Members must be willing to accept phone calls from co-members at any time of day or night, and talk them down from the bridge.
#9 – Hook-ups between co-members are strictly prohibited.
#10 – For their own protection, members must respect the N.G.Z. (No-Go Zones) imposed by a break-up. N.G.Z.s fall into three categories – Locational, Musical and Gifting. However, your ex does not have long-term sole custody
