Cathy
Lou was acting strange, but I didn’t feel in the right frame of mind to ask. I was still fuming. I had urged the others to walk on ahead so that they couldn’t hear my conversation with Anthony. He was being obnoxious, and he’d obviously been drinking and was in a loudly argumentative mood. I had hoped he would ring once or twice maybe in the middle of the week, since I had texted him to let him know we had arrived safely, but no. And he wasn’t just fussing and making sure I was comfortable – he wanted to know what we were doing, so I had spent the ten minutes itemising our plans, which hadn’t placated him. It had done the opposite, in fact.
‘Please don’t drink too much,’ he slurred in my ear. ‘I expect there are a lot of guys out there in groups, away from their wives and families.’
I sighed again steeling my patience. ‘I expect there are, love, but I’m here with the girls, so don’t worry. We are only eating. Besides, there aren’t going to be too many men looking to chat up sixty-year-old women.’
‘Men are men, Cath. They’ll prey on anything that …’
‘For goodness’ sake, Anthony, you’re beginning to sound like some possessive teenager. Now then. That’s enough. I won’t speak to you if you’re going to behave like a child.’ I ground my teeth hoping Lou and Angie hadn’t heard me raise my voice. His tone was terribly embarrassing. His suggestion, however, got me wondering. ‘And anyway, how often have you jollied off to far-flung places? Is it what you would do? Are you suggesting you prey on women?’ I asked, clawing my fingers into my neck.
‘Don’t be daft, Cath, of course not. I’ve watched men though. I know what they’re like.’
I rolled my eyes. ‘Well, let me assure you, I’ll jolly well stay clear of any letches. Now, I’m almost at the restaurant. Stop worrying and remember why I’m here. I’ll call you if I have any concerns, OK? Look after yourself, darling.’ I fumbled for the button quick. I wanted him to leave me in peace. Why was it always about him? I never pestered him when he was away.
Furious with him, I upped my pace to catch up with the girls. Yes, I expected him to call me to let me know he had arrived safely when he went away, but I trusted him, always. We were lucky that our bond remained close despite not having children. And even when us Flowers had been away before, say Greece, which was our favourite, ‘Shirley Valentine’ holiday we called it – minus the gorgeous Costas of course – Anthony always seemed fine. He had never acted like this, calling me and verbalising his insecurities. And, all the years we’ve been ballroom dancing together, a pastime we stumbled across whilst our friends stayed home caring for their children, there were times when we were instructed to tango, waltz or rumba with another partner and I had never known Anthony to show signs of jealousy.
I failed to understand why I was feeling guilty. He understood the purpose of the week was to concentrate my time on Ginny, and the skiing. He knows I’m worried about them both, but he hasn’t even asked. Not that there was much to tell him yet, but I would have thought that would be his first concern.
I couldn’t admit it to the Flowers, but I’d been petrified since day one. It was only when our darling Angie promised to get us physically and mentally prepared that I thought: Cathy Golding, you can do this! A bloody hard slog, but I managed, and no one was more surprised than me when I eventually conquered the dry slope. It was a truth universally acknowledged among us Flowers, that sport had never been my forte! ‘Floppy Doll,’ Ginny and Lou used to call me! I didn’t mind.
I knew five lessons on the dry slope would never prepare me for ice. Ice was enemy number one! Ever since I slipped in the playground when I was about ten and cracked my head open, I’ve feared ice. Knocking myself unconscious and being rushed to hospital was a huge drama and not one I would want to relive. Just walking in the resort and down that chalet path sent the adrenaline pumping, but I managed to hold it together – not that Anthony is bothered.
Wasn’t it ridiculous that we couldn’t admit our weaknesses to anyone, partners included? These past few months with Anthony, if I was honest, I couldn’t wait to get away from him. It sounded dreadful, but I was at a loss as to what to do. I loved him dearly, but I couldn’t honestly say that I liked him. God forgive! But I couldn’t admit that to him. Neither could I admit it to my friends. I would feel terribly disloyal to Anthony and he wouldn’t want anyone to interfere in our marriage.
I supposed I should confront him with it. It couldn’t continue. At least I had a husband alive to confront. Poor Ginny didn’t even have Mike’s shoulder to cry on when she was made redundant. Opening up about her redundancy earlier was a major step forward for her. Usually she’d just tell you what she was doing, rarely how she was feeling. You would think people coped better as they got older, but it seemed new challenges would spring up and surprise you. Anthony and ice were currently mine!
Reaching La Poste, lagging a little behind the girls, I was ready to scream and would have hugged that Stefano guy, if he had stayed still long enough, for getting us the wine so fast. That first glass lasted me all of two seconds. I handed the girls theirs and refilled mine.
Lou gave a roar as I put the bottle on the small table and spun round. ‘Steady on, ol’ girl,’ she said. ‘Is Anthony OK?’
‘Yes, fine, darling,’ I lied. Clearly she knew who I was talking to. ‘How’s Terry?’
‘Ditto, when I left anyway. Glad to be rid of me I think. Ha!’ she sniggered. Kim sidled up to us as Lou continued. ‘No, he’s got his returns he’s focusing on this week and a meeting with the architects. No doubt he’ll look at the weather and organise a round or two of golf.’
I smiled. ‘Good. At least he’s keeping busy.’ I glanced at Kim, noticing the beautiful colour of her pink lipstick and how it suited her. ‘How was Will when you left?’
‘Oh, ace! Thanks.’ She raised her eyebrows. ‘In fact, I don’t know why I’m saying that. He was ironing before he dropped me to the airport, which is a rare sight.’
Lou almost choked on her wine. ‘Good on him. And you, sweetie. You’ve got him well trained. Terry wouldn’t know an ironing board if it hit him in the face.’
Laughing, Kim shook her head. ‘Aww no, he’s working this week, so staying organised I expect. Our cleaner normally does it but she’s on holidays. What about Ant?’
‘I was just saying to Lou, he’s fine. A bit lost but he has his sudoku and his Netflix. Seems to enjoy watching series to reading books at the moment.’
‘I think men prefer TV,’ Lou replied, playing with long navy beads. ‘I can’t remember the last time Terry read a book.’
Kim sipped more wine. ‘If they’re anything like Will nowadays, they just want to get home and switch off from work. They forget our feet are tired too.’
‘Luckily for me, Anthony insists on treating me like a princess still, keeping me fed and watered all day while I write,’ I stated with an air of satisfaction.
‘Sounds a dream!’ Kim swooned wiping her brow with her hand. ‘I wish Will would retire, hon.’
I forced a smile. Oh, I was such a fraud. It wasn’t particularly comforting to hear my friends’ husbands were happy working when I knew Anthony was idle and bored. I was betraying myself. Maybe he was a bit hasty giving up his business so soon. Retirement doesn’t
