They went Thursday nights and every Christmas Eve. Terry and Anthony even wheeled Mike down to the pub last year – to think he was only a day away from entering the hospice. Lou shivered at the thought. Mike’s last day at home had been Christmas Day.
After a bite to eat and a much-needed hot cup of tea, she climbed the stairs to one of the spare bedrooms, Emma’s old bedroom, where a case lay partially full on the crimson carpet and clothes were scattered across Emma’s pink and purple duvet cover. Ski garments were neatly folded, whilst others awaited their fate.
‘So, who is travelling to Switzerland with me?’ Lou began to pair up some more outfits, wondering what was most suited to après-ski and what accessories to include. Opening a drawer containing several boxes of costume jewellery, she rummaged through for some navy and pearl beads that had matching earrings. With her new haircut she wanted earrings, but she had no idea which box they were in. She found a set of red beads with earrings, which she thought would go splendidly with her charcoal-grey cashmere, and she placed them on the bed. Tugging at the lid of the next box, her eyes brightened, and her heart gave a light flutter. She lifted a gold belcher chain with a half-sovereign and untangled it from a silver one. The gold one, her parents had given her for her eighteenth birthday. The silver chain, now tarnished, with the words ‘I Love You,’ also in silver, was from her ex, Jimmy Dixon, when she was twenty-one.
Lou bit her lip remembering her first love. They met at university in Sussex. Instantly smitten with each other, their chemistry had been strong. She smiled while picturing him then, his black curls flopped over the most gorgeous sultry brown eyes. He was two years older, drove a sporty Ford Capri, and treated her with the latest records, her first ever cassette player and album cassettes among other gifts.
They were inseparable at university and, once home, Jimmy had even proposed. But according to her parents, it was too soon. She should wait, they said, persuading her to concentrate on her banking career for a few years and encouraging her to travel, explore life. Knowing her mother had never had the same opportunities as herself, she considered it fair advice. And after much heartbreak, all she could do was forget him. That is, until he found her on Facebook a few years ago.
Lou heard the front door slam and, instantly blasted from her trance, threw the jewellery back into the box. Speedily, she searched the other boxes for the navy and white beads and placed them together with the red in a small drawstring bag before tucking them into the case.
‘Terry, hi. I’m upstairs finishing my packing,’ she shouted, grabbing a polo neck sweater from the bed and arranging it in her case.
She heard the loo flush in the downstairs cloakroom and the thump of Terry’s bare feet stomping on the carpet on the stairs. As she stood back up, the alcohol on his breath and his clothes wafted straight to her nostrils as he walked up beside her.
She met his lips and pecked them. ‘How was the pub?’
‘Mm, downbeat to begin with. Sad, without Mike, but we soon came to the conclusion that Mike wouldn’t want us moping. He was our social secretary – we couldn’t let him down – so we toasted his memory a few times. Poor sod. I do miss him.’
Lou rubbed her husband’s arm. Terry was still very attractive for a man of his age and she cared for him deeply, despite the chemistry between them never matching her and Jimmy’s. ‘I know, darling. Must be hard. How was Robbie? Did Anthony go?’
Terry shrugged, clasping her hand. ‘Both like me – still missing Mike and grateful we’re all still alive. What can you do? I just hope it doesn’t happen to us yet.’
‘I know – poor Ginny. I can’t imagine going through what she has. And I didn’t think Ant would go today if I’m honest. He’s been down. He seems to have missed Mike most.’
‘Nah, I don’t think it’s just Mike he’s missing. I think he’s getting bored. Maybe retirement makes you like that. Bit worrying, isn’t it?’
Lou squeezed Terry’s hand and kissed him briefly on the lips again. ‘Well, if and when we sell the business and retire next year, I hope we don’t get bored. I want to do a variety of things. As well as watching our children prosper and grandchildren grow up, I want to explore new activities, learn new skills, travel and go on adventures with you, and I intend to spend lots of time with my friends, so make sure you do too.’
He hugged her tight. ‘I love you so much, Lou Cavendish, and I hope we have many more years together, enjoying our retirement. At least we know we can work together after all these years, so I’m sure we can get through and enjoy our retirement together. So, don’t you go doing anything stupid like knocking yourself unconscious on the slopes. Let’s just hope nothing happens and we have a ball.’
As predictable and cautious as ever, she thought, pecking him on the lips. ‘Absolutely. I love you too, Terry.’
Ginny
Out of breath, but euphoric, I glanced at Mike sitting on a fluffy white cloud, watching me as I proudly planted the flag from the side of my rucksack into the mountain’s snow-capped pinnacle. ‘You didn’t think I would do it, did you?’ I told him expanding my chest.
‘Ginny, Ginny, you’re dribbling, sweetheart,’ a voice encroached on my senses as a force pushed me upright. It was Lou. My consciousness was returning. We were in the back of the hire car. Lou’s throaty, some might say seductive voice was giggling. ‘You must be dreaming of that man at the airport.’
‘I would be if he spoke to me in that sexy accent,’ Cathy added mimicking a French accent. I instantly imagined her little nostrils widening and thin lips pouting whilst her sharp blonde bob shimmied.
Forcing my eyes open, I saw Angie lean forward and her hand flip from the steering wheel to tap her backside.
‘Me too,’ she said. ‘He can sit on my luggage any day. He was hot!’
Typical of Angie. I grinned, then with a stretch, I roused myself, wiping saliva from the side of my mouth and realising the four of us were actually en-route to our ski trip. Sadly, I wasn’t with Mike at all. Letting my eyelids drop again, I yearned to return to the dream – to the top of that mountain – with Mike; where I wasn’t scared, and he was real. Very real. Those sweet eyes smiling. I wanted to yell to the world – Mike’s alive.
I rubbed my eyes and peered out of the window, marvelling at majestic snowy peaks. As a lover of maps, I figured we must be in the Swiss Rhône valley. I sized up the mountains dwarfing us on both sides.
‘How embarrassing.’ I groaned, trying to imagine what I must have looked like slumped in the chair, dribbling.
Lou was quick to defend me. ‘Don’t worry. You’re in good company. I used to do it all the time when I commuted to London.’ She stretched out her long legs and wriggled her socked feet to retrieve her designer snow boots from under the passenger seat. ‘We’re not far now, sweetheart. You might want to get your boots on too.’
‘Oh, right, yes.’ I sat up, remembering I was on a promise of fun, not just to my lovely friends, but also to my children. Thinking back to yesterday, Christmas Day, I remembered I’d promised myself and my children – Ross and Rachel – that I would embrace this week and use it as a pivot to move forward. They
