Acts afraid of meeting new people, trying new things or exploring new places.
Refuses to leave the house.
Waits to get home to use the toilet.
Acts nervous when another child approaches.
Shows increased anger or resentment with no obvious cause.
Makes remarks about feeling lonely.
Has difficulty making friends.
Reluctant to defend himself when teased or criticised by others.
Shows a dramatic change in style of dress.
Has physical marks – bruises or cuts – which may have been inflicted by others or by himself.
What are the early warning signs for each age?
Primary school
Regressive behaviour, such as thumb-sucking, talking in a baby voice, clinginess, temper tantrums or bedwetting.
Leaves school with torn or disordered clothing and/or damaged books.
Has bruises, injuries, cuts and scratches that are not easily explained.
Says they ‘hate’ a particular person, but won’t elaborate on why.
Fewer play-dates or invitations.
Embarrassment about things, such as clothing, appearance or material possessions, which have never been a feature before.
Uses words that are age-inappropriate, and often with intent to hurt.
Becomes more violent against siblings, parents or friends, without real reason.
Secondary school
Does not bring classmates or peers home after school and seldom spends time in the homes of classmates.
May not have a single good friend to share free time with (play, shopping, sports and musical events, chatting on the phone).
Is seldom or never invited to parties and may not be interested in arranging parties (because he or she expects that nobody wants to come).
Does not participate in extracurricular activities such as school clubs.
Chooses an illogical route for going to and from school.
Loses interest in school work.
Appears unhappy, sad, depressed or shows unexpected mood shifts with irritability and sudden outbursts of temper.
Requests or steals extra money from family (to accommodate the demands of bullies).
Becomes obsessed with a mobile phone and reluctant to explain persistent calls or texts.
Becomes increasingly sensitive about or obsessed with physical features, weight, clothing, etc.
Begins to bully other family members for no obvious reason.
Becomes highly critical of activities and people she used to enjoy.
How do I know if my child is bullying others?
Most parents are horrified to discover that their child is bullying others, and can actively avoid acknowledging the signs. It’s important to be honest with yourself. Any of the following may suggest that your child is involved in bullying behaviour:
Your child is accused of bullying at school or elsewhere.
Has been in trouble for fighting (physical or emotional/verbal fighting is equally relevant).
Has an excuse or ‘reason’ for any reports of bullying such as: denial, playing it down – ‘I was just messing around’; blame – ‘he started it’; or defence – ‘he was looking for trouble’; or ‘he went completely mad on us’.
Turns the tables and says that someone else has been bullying her, when there is clear
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