wobbling, her arms flailing like small propellers.
Dan dives. Like a rugby tackle, he lunges forward, holding out his hands to grab Penny’s legs, or her waist, anything, please God, other than thin air.
Nick
The first test, for better or for worse.
Nick gazes at the polite polished faces of his guests. A plastic bubble, he thinks. That’s how it feels; he can still smell the tang of roast beef and hear his new father-in-law’s heavily accented voice, but they’re muffled by his thoughts.
He tries to shake himself back to his wedding dinner. The dessert bowls have been cleared and the champagne flutes refilled. Friends and family have turned their chairs, they’re listening and smiling. He knows there’s eight tables, but he counts them, rehearsing each label: ‘St Mark’s’ for the school crowd, ‘Leeds’ for uni, ‘Swansea’ for the noisy Welsh, or ‘the coven’ as Lisa calls them …
His mind drifts to her prolific wedding lists and he smiles a small shaky smile. The handwritten plaques were her idea, pretty much everything else too. She was their clever wedding planner; centring every table with a potted flowering plant, rather than cut flowers, so that they’d last; lovingly decorating each invitation, each envelope; choosing the menu, the hymns and the flowers. Even the men’s suits, their patterned waistcoats and plain cravats.
But no one can plan everything.
A blip. That’s what Dan called it. ‘It’s only a blip, mate,’ he said when he came back from Will’s room. ‘Will has to go home with Penny, but don’t worry, leave everything with me.’
His heart thrashes. Dan caught Penny just in time. Only just in time! Moments later and she could’ve been dead. Bloody hell! A fucking vast blip in his regular safe life.
Feeling for Lisa’s fingers under the stiff tablecloth, he tunes into her father’s words. His hair is black and oiled and he speaks for some time: his birthplace of Swansea, which raises a loud cheer from his plethora of sisters; his meeting with Lisa’s mum at a church dance; moving to her home town of Prestatyn; having two burly boys before his beautiful baby daughter. He says Nick will find out, if he hasn’t already, that his girl is ‘a bossy little Miss, a bossy little Mrs now, but only in a good way, men need to be told’.
As the coven make another whoop, he squeezes his new wife’s hand. She turns towards him and her green eyes are shiny. He’s only known her for thirteen months, but he knows without a doubt she’s still grieving for her mum. He hopes Lisa and his own mum will become close, but senses a frostiness between them. ‘Your mum only had boys,’ Lisa says. ‘Of course she’s indulgent with you and Patrick, but I don’t think she knows how to relax. It’s different between mothers and daughters.’
He didn’t recognise Lisa’s description, but looking at his mum now, he can understand her mistake. Straight-backed and small, she looks timid and tense, but underneath she’s quite steely. Once Will and Penny had left, she took him aside. ‘It’s your day, love, yours and Lisa’s. No point dwelling on it, you need to put it behind you. Most people didn’t notice. Forget it and enjoy yourselves.’
Though he knew his mum’s words were partially a white lie, he found Lisa hiding in the ladies’ and repeated them. ‘It’s our day, Lisa. Hardly anyone saw. We’re going to put this behind us. Yes?’ Looking into her tearful face, willing her to agree.
It felt like the first test, for better or for worse.
The guests bang the tables as Dan stands for his speech. He takes off his jacket, rolls up his shirtsleeves and loosens his cravat. Pausing for a moment, he looks around the room, then lifts his dark eyebrows and clears his throat. ‘Mr and Mrs Quinn,’ he says. ‘… Senior. A few words to the wise before I start. Perhaps now would be a good time to leave …’
There’s laughter and a loud cheer. ‘Dish the dirt, Dan,’ a pal from university shouts.
That’s it, Nick thinks, trauma over. Please God, let that be it. Please put my regular and safe life back on track.
Yet still his heart races.
Jen
Jen picks up the ‘St Mark’s’ place card and studies it for a while. Though the music is blaring and people are milling and chatting near their table, she can’t hear anything except the clatter of her heart. It has been racing since looking up to see Penny’s pallid face at the window, and even self-medicating with champagne hasn’t helped. They’ve been joined by Dan from the top table and though usually calm, he’s agitated too, repeating himself like a record stuck in a groove. He’s been brilliant all day, hurtling with Will to deal with Penny, then taking on the role as the only best man at the meal with aplomb, but it’s as though the trauma has only recently set and is playing on a loop.
He’s shaking his dark head. ‘At a wedding of all places. I can’t believe Penny did that,’ he says again. Frowning, he turns to Geri. ‘She was humming when we got there, but after getting her to safety, she behaved as though everything was normal. Saying she had to dress and brush her hair, check her face in the mirror. Bizarre. Did she say anything to you in the church?’
‘No, I’ve already said, Dan, she seemed normal. Well, quiet, but she’s generally pretty quiet, isn’t she?’ Tapping a painted fingernail on her lips, Geri frowns. ‘God, it was only a few hours ago and it’s already hard to remember.’ Closing her eyes, she starts to describe Penny’s movements, but Jen drifts, the batter of her heart still loud in her ears. She tunes in again when Geri mentions Will’s name. ‘She was there when Will was fooling with your girls. It was funny to see them swallowed up by his wedding tails, then racing away. Poor Holly being lugged back under his arm like a sack of potatoes did make me laugh.’ For a moment she looks startled. ‘God, did I really laugh and say it was one of those joyous moments everyone remembers? I looked for Penny then and she was walking inside. Then, I don’t know … the confetti shot?’
‘Bloody unbelievable,’ Jen says, her thoughts popping out as words. ‘I wonder what was going on in her head.’
Turning to the dance floor, she absently watches her daughters. They didn’t see Penny at the window, thank God. At least she doesn’t think so. Geri guided Holly and Maria inside before anyone noticed and she was on the way to clean Anna’s shoes in the ladies’, so she was carrying her.
She sighs. One of life’s shocking turns; unexpected change in an instant. Her worries about Holly seem silly now. And besides, she looks fine. Her pretty face is flushed and she’s even laughing with Maria. Dancing and music; the two things they have in common.
The only two things.
Still finding it impossible to fully absorb what’s happened and shape how she feels, she glances at her watch. Bloody hell, look at the time! Enough theorising about Penny, it’s time now to focus. Pinning her hair behind her ears, she turns to Ian. ‘When should we take the girls up to the room?’ she asks. ‘It’s getting late.’
He
