along with her daft schemes when we were kids, so it’s quite fitting she’s returning the favour now.
When I don’t immediately answer, she continues, ‘We could get quite a few done before the reunion too! That’ll show Amanda, even though you obviously didn’t make the bucket list to impress her. You’re doing it for yourself and I think it’s bloody awesome. Hopefully you’ll see you’re capable of doing extraordinary things instead of selling yourself short. What do you say? Will you let me help you?’
The memory of Mum telling me I’m only capable of doing small things crosses my mind. The stab of pain in my heart makes my answer laughably simple.
‘Go on then.’ My voice trembles slightly, but my resolve doesn’t waver. ‘You’re on.’
The speed-dating event comes around a lot sooner than I’d like. I was perfectly fine with it when it was a week away, but now it’s here I’m wondering what the hell I’ve let myself in for. I continually remind myself I’m doing it not only to push myself out of my comfort zone, but also to potentially tick something off my bucket list. Let myself fall in love is by far the hardest, so the sooner I make a start on it the better. I’ve already ticked off do something that scares me by agreeing to go the reunion and made a start on conquering my body issues, so I’m on a bit of a roll. Hopefully that’ll continue tonight.
Before I inflict myself on some poor, unsuspecting strangers, I have a Carb Counters meeting to get through. I’m so nervous that I’m not even tempted by the prospect of a slice of cake in the Silver Spoon. I stand in the queue, palms sweating and my brain working overtime to produce a list of all the things that could go wrong at the speed-dating night. Emma’s skipped this meeting because she has to work, so I’m on my own. Much as I don’t envy her very stressful job as a legal secretary, I can’t help wishing I had work to keep me away from this meeting.
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