to worry. I won’t say a bleeding thing; you have my word.’
And she’d been true to it. At first he’d kept her under his radar. Keeping close to her, making sure she didn’t start talking, but then before long he’d found it was him who’d done the talking. Confiding in her, telling her about Harley when Maggie had been banged up. She’d tried to tell him to do the right thing but he hadn’t wanted to listen. ‘Johnny, you need to sort out your kid. You can’t have that sponge Gina look after her. For fuck’s sake, you promised Maggie.’
‘I said I didn’t want to talk about it.’
‘Yeah you might not want to but you have to.’
He’d got mad then and said things he’d regretted.
‘Don’t fucking push it, Saucers. When I want advice of a frigging whore, I’ll ask for it. Until then, unlike your cunt, keep it shut.’
Saucers had looked devastated. She’d been right in what she’d said but over the year he’d managed to push her words and the hurt in her eyes – as well as his promise to Maggie – out of his head, though she hadn’t held it against him and continued to be friends. Worse still, he’d pushed Harley out of it as well, getting on with what he did best; being Johnny Taylor. And that had all been fine until Saucers had reminded him that Maggie was coming home.
Johnny smiled at Saucers as she brought her chair next to him, breaking his thoughts. Without asking she cadged a cigarette out of the box of Camel lying on the table.
‘To tell you the truth, I don’t know what to do, Saucers.’
‘You could try talking to her.’
Before he could answer, Johnny saw the tall handsome figure of Tommy Donaldson walking towards them. He felt Saucers tap him on his knee frantically, as if she was the only one aware of the looming presence of Tommy standing less than a meter away.
Johnny carried on smoking his cigarette as he locked eyes with Tommy; not wanting to break away, careful not to show any weakness. He saw Tommy smile, a dark cold smirk.
‘How’s Daddy?’
Johnny leapt up, knocking Saucers out of the way as she tried to grab his jacket to hold him back. The two men faced up to each other with Tommy standing slightly smaller at six foot two, though standing just as tall and menacing in stature. They ignored the worried glances of the passers-by and stood motionless, each waiting for the other to make a move.
‘What’s the problem Johnny? Don’t want to take me? Too afraid you’ll end up like your old man?’
Johnny curled up his lip in scorn.
‘No, Tommy you’ve got me mixed up with yourself mate. I’m not the one who’s afraid. You don’t see me pissing myself in a corner when I hear my old man’s voice.’
Tommy’s face blanched. The humiliation crossed his face and Johnny could’ve kicked himself. He was fuming with Tommy for taking the rib out of his father being stabbed, but that didn’t mean he could throw that in his face. Maggie had told him in confidence when they were having a heart-to-heart. Now like a chump and certainly not for the first time, he’d just broken her trust. He could see Tommy was still reeling from what he’d said and as he was about to say something else, he heard a familiar voice behind him.
‘Why don’t you just shut your mouth, Johnny?’
Johnny swivelled round to see Maggie Donaldson’s beautiful face distorted with anger. She turned away from him and called to her brother as she saw him start to walk away.
‘Tommy … wait. Tommy I want to talk to you … please.’
Johnny saw the hurt appear in Maggie’s eyes as Tommy ignored her and disappeared into the Soho night, leaving Maggie to vent her anger on him.
‘Maggie, Jesus, it’s good to see you. I … I was going to call but … ’
He trailed off, knowing whatever came out of his mouth would sound hollow. He glanced at Saucers for some help who only smiled weakly at both of them, before diplomatically hurrying off down Old Compton Street.
Clearing his throat, Johnny tried again, wanting to apologise for what he’d said to Tommy. ‘Listen babe, what I said to Tommy, I wasn’t thinking. You know I didn’t mean anything by it.’
‘Story of your life, Johnny. Always saying stuff you don’t mean. Like saying you’d make sure Harley was alright, but you never meant anything by that either did you? Answer me this. Have you even seen her once since she’s been with Gina?’
Johnny put his head down, not wanting to admit he hadn’t, but not wanting to tell a blatant lie either which he knew Maggie would’ve known was untrue. So he’d stayed silent.
‘I take it from the look on your face you haven’t. Then you wouldn’t know what a state she’s in. She looks a mess, Johnny. What were you thinking, giving her to Gina to look after?’
‘She’s okay though, ain’t she?’
His words sent Maggie into an angry hissing rant.
‘Okay? No she ain’t okay. How could she be with Gina? Would you want to be stuck with her? Jesus, a fart can’t escape from Gina Daniels quick enough. But if you mean, is she alive? Well yeah she is, but okay she ain’t. I needed you to help her. She needed you to. I will never forgive you for this.’
‘Listen, I don’t want to talk here.’
Johnny looked round nervously but Maggie was beyond caring at that point. ‘What are you afraid of, Johnny? Someone seeing us together and they rumble your secret life? Then your perfect world comes crashing in on you?’
‘It’s not just my neck on the block if anyone finds out is it Maggie? It’s Harley’s too.’
‘Don’t you dare, Johnny. Don’t you dare pretend you’re concerned about her.’
Johnny’s face darkened and he grabbed her arm as she turned to walk away. ‘Think you’re so flipping perfect don’t you Maggie? Like butter wouldn’t melt, the way you look down your nose at me. Well if you’re so much better than the rest of us, why didn’t you keep that big mouth of yours closed? Keep that temper of yours in check. But oh no, you couldn’t do that could you? You had to prove a point and lay one out on a copper. So stop judging me, Maggie. Ask yourself instead why you didn’t have more self-control. If you love our daughter as much as you say you do, why did you find yourself doing bird for a year?’
His words cut. She knew what Johnny was saying was true. Here she was going round being all high and mighty but she was to blame for all this. When Maggie had been in Highpoint she’d opened her eyes every morning, seeing the metal bars on the windows and she’d asked herself the same question: why?
‘I hate you Johnny Taylor, you know that?’
He pulled her then, towards Whispers nightclub, looking around anxiously as he did so. Wanting to make sure nobody saw them.
Johnny took her down by the side of the club and firmly – but without hurting her – pushed Maggie against the cold red brick of the wall. Leaning on it with his hands on either side of her he stood
