the few pennies of change in his pocket for comfort, and hurried on. He had a coat, and boots, money in his pocket, a bed to sleep on and coal in his scuttle, if he needed it. Why, he’d even treated himself to a chocolate ice at the cinema. A life of ease. But not at ease, never at ease. As he pushed on up the hill he found he was growing breathless – perhaps the unaccustomed laughter had been too much for him – and when he reached the purple-dark outlines of the church he sat down on the edge of a leaning gravestone to catch his wind. His breath was beginning to condense, like mists of ice powder that he remembered would settle round your beard and freeze your lips together, tearing the flesh if you tried to eat, if you had anything to eat. Then you could feel your eyeballs beginning to turn to frost so that they would not close, and your brain began to freeze so hard that you wondered if this was going to be the last moon you would ever see, but you knew that the ground was already too hard for them to bury you, so they would leave you under a thin scattering of rocks, for the foxes.
But this was England! Such things never happened here. The English wouldn’t allow it. Mr Chamberlain had promised. An Englishman’s promise. We could sleep soundly in our beds, burn our coal, enjoy our little luxuries of chocolate ice and cake, safe in the knowledge that we didn’t need to worry and that when we died of very old age they would bury us deep and the tears wouldn’t freeze even before they hit the ground. That’s how it would be, in England, at least. The Empire would insist on it.
He sat, desperately wanting the world to stand still, but even as he watched, the moon moved on. Dry leaves were caught by the gentle wind and scuttled in waves around his ankles, like the sound of sea breaking on shingle. As it had broken that day on the beach in Solovetsky.
Suddenly the tears were flowing again. He felt weak, and shamed by it, glad there was no one on the street to see him. But why did the opinion of others matter? His was a life alone, cut off from emotion, a life rebuilt only for himself – and why not, when there was no one else there for him? Not after little Moniek had gone. For half his time on this earth his only god had been survival. What happened in the rest of the world and to the rest of the world was for him a matter of complete inconsequence. Another man’s rations, his blanket, his work detail, sometimes even another man’s name, had on more than one occasion been the difference between death and tomorrow. It had all grown to be so simple, a world in which he would gladly exchange a man’s life for an hour of sunshine.
Yet now tears fell, uncontrollably. Tears for the life he had lost. And the lives that he knew would now be lost. The lives of those who had stared at him with those gaunt, awful eyes from the frames of the Pathé News film he had just seen, the fear in their faces made bright by the burning of the synagogues around them. He knew those faces, for he could see himself in every one. He wept, hoping the tears might douse the flames.
‘Another brandy, McCrieff.’ The proposal was placed with all the subtlety of a German ultimatum to a minor Middle-European enclave.
‘That’s most obliging of you. Just a wee one, if you insist, Sir Joseph. It’s been a splendid dinner.’
‘The first of many, we hope.’ Horace Wilson reappeared from behind the glow of his cigar.
‘That would indeed be pleasant. My club – the Caledonian – next time, if I may insist?’ An edge of uncertainty had slipped into the Scotsman’s voice – wouldn’t these great men find the Caledonian too gruesomely provincial for their tastes? He was uncertain of the tastes of fashionable Westminster; he felt the need to strengthen his hand. ‘Their kitchens may lack a little subtlety, of course, but the cellars are filled with some particularly fine single malts that I think might tempt you. Not that I’ve got anything against the French, you understand,’ he reassured them, draining his balloon, wishing alcohol hadn’t dulled his wits, ‘but I know where my loyalties lie.’
‘You fish, McCrieff?’
‘I could tie a fly before I could fasten my own shoelaces.’
‘Then I think we should arrange for you to join the Prime Minister and me when we next come up to the Dee. Probably at Easter. You could spare a day, could you?’
‘I’d be honoured, Sir Joseph, truly. But I’m aware that you’re all such busy men, I’d hate to think I might become a distraction.’
‘Ah, distractions, McCrieff, distractions. Life is so full of distractions. Wars, revolutions, scandal, strikes, floods – not to mention being forced to follow on behind the Australians. There are so many distractions in politics, so many things that are thrust upon you. Ah, but then there are the distractions you create.’
The Smoking Room of the Reform Club creaked with ancient red leather and history. It was a club created a century before for the singular purpose of celebrating emancipation. One Man, One Vote – or rather, one property, one vote, a twist of the rudder designed to steer a course between the distractions of revolution and repression that were bringing chaos to the rest of Europe.
‘But don’t you know, McCrieff, I’ve always regarded the greatest distraction in political life as being women. Don’t you agree, Horace?’
‘Women? Certainly. Did for Charles Stewart Parnell. Damn nearly did for Lloyd George, too. Should’ve done for him, if you ask my opinion.’
‘Might even do for this Government, if we let ’em.’
McCrieff’s brow puckered; he’d lost the thread. He readjusted his position in his armchair by the fire, sitting well back, listening to the leather creak, trying to convey to the others the illusion that he was entirely comfortable inside the maze of high politics. But women? Had Chamberlain got himself into difficulties on account of – no, ridiculous thought. Not Chamberlain, of all people. More likely the Archbishop than the Undertaker. Chamberlain just wasn’t the type. So where did women come into it?
‘Forgive me, gentlemen, but I’m not sure I entirely follow your –’
Ball cut him off ruthlessly. ‘What do you think of your local MP, McCrieff? The Duchess?’
McCrieff retreated from Ball’s stare and gazed into the fire. Their invitation had been so unexpected, so urgent in tone – was this what it was about? The Duchess of Atholl? And if so, which way did loyalty lean? Towards her? Or away? No matter how hard he stared he could find no answer in the fire, yet some edge in Ball’s tone told him that his answer mattered. He would have to tread with considerably more caution than he had dined. ‘As you are well aware, gentlemen, I am what I think it’s fair to describe as an influential member of the Kinross and West Perthshire constituency association. I also wish to become a Member of Parliament myself. I’m not sure it would be wise for me to go round criticizing those who I’d like to become my colleagues.’
‘You’d sit with Socialists?’
‘Of course not.’
‘But you’d sit with the Duchess? Support her causes?’
‘Well, she has a fair few of those, to be sure. Not all of them to my taste.’
‘Nor to the taste of others, McCrieff. Including the Prime Minister.’
‘Strange, so strange the causes she adopts,’ Wilson added. ‘Once heard her make a speech about female circumcision amongst the Kikuyu in Africa. Took up hours of parliamentary time on it, refused to give way. Quite extraordinary performance.’ He was shaking his head but not taking his eyes for a moment off McCrieff. ‘Not, of course, that as a civil servant I have any views on these matters, but personally and entirely privately …’
