smile. Perhaps it comes out wrong, as Lacey takes a step back.
‘You look different,’ she says. ‘Have you cut your hair?’ I shake my head. ‘Lost weight?’ ‘Uhm-no.’ ‘New dress?’ ‘No.’
‘Well, there’s something about you.’ She gives me a critical look. ‘I like it,’ she pronounces. ‘Whatever you’re doing, keep doing it!’ And she saunters into the house.
Lacey claims to be a little bit psychic. Perhaps she is.
As I unbuckle Annie, I see Clint get out of his car. As I lock the van, he’s reaching Lacey’s front door.
Jesus Christ, was he unbuckling his belt with one hand while reaching for the door knob with the other?
I need to get my mind out of the gutter.
‘Mom!’ Eddie wails. ‘Open the door! It’s so cold!’
The kids snack, then disappear into various corners of the house, except for Annie, who sits in my lap as I make pasta. Alex makes it home just as I’m slopping it into bowls on the table; the children squeal with delight, and then fight over who gets to sit next to him. He offers to do bedtime if they stop fighting, and they suppress it, a little.
I do a half-ass job cleaning the kitchen – good mother. A morally ambiguous wife. A horrid housekeeper. And then, to the sound of my husband running our children’s bath, I pop open the laptop. And this time I take the initiative.
Because I am clearly insane.
—I’ve rethought the visuals. I’ve never seen you in a tie. Use your belt. It’ll have to come off anyway.
And of course he’s there.
No, the only time I’ve ever used a tie on you, we borrowed it. Remember?
And leather is more fun.
—Indeed.
How long will I have you?
—I guess that depends on when you untie me.
I’ll try not to be greedy. // Try // I make no promises.
Now tell me. In detail. What you did last night.
—I don’t know how to start.
Begin at the beginning, insatiable you. And take me through every filthy detail.
—No. I think I’ll just tell you Alex had gouge marks all the way down his back at the end.
Lucky man. Unless he doesn’t enjoy the scratches.
—And you? Did you aim at the lace and watch it trickle down?
I had you tied up (thinking ahead…though your wrists were behind your back), working your mouth, laced breasts jutting forward from having your wrists bound. Then when I was ready, I stroked the last few moments, freeing your mouth. I wanted you to word-fuck me to the end.
Then I aimed.
A hot beautiful messy sight.
—You were always much better at this than I.
Love making you wet
(presumptive)
—(right)
hungry
—yes
ready to devour you
—trembling
are you ready to be put to work?
—no
no? wet and trembling sounds ready to me
—still need something
Tell me. What do you need?
—something to nudge me over the edge
—a hand in just the right place, a tongue on just the right spot
a firm handprint on your lovely skin
—perhaps
—just enough pressure
just enough to motivate
an encouraging spank
not being punished.
(yet)
—Fuck. Has it been 10 years since we’ve seen each other?
more, perhaps
a long interval
—I’m astounded you can still do this to me.
Amazing how fast to rekindle, yes.
—primeval
I’ve never stopped wanting you.
I always thought we were sexual equals.
—I like that.
We are a twisted pair.
—twisted?
In the best way – woven together in some primal way. We match.
Tell me you want me.
—So much. You?
I want to feel your hair in my hands as I take you from behind.
I want to unleash you, drive you mad. Fuck you until you lose your words, all your self-restraint.
—Fuck. So primal. I still remember the way you smell, you know. I didn’t think I did, but in this moment, it is all around me.
It’s what you need to nudge you over the edge.
Now get on your knees.
Open your mouth.
—oh
Thrust your tongue out so I can fuck your mouth deeper.
—yes…
further
—you’re bigger than I remember
