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HarperCollins Children’s Books An imprint of HarperCollinsPublishers Ltd. 1 London Bridge Street London SE1 9GF
First published in Great Britain by HarperCollins Children’s Books 2000
Text copyright © Jean Ure 2000
Illustrations copyright © Karen Donnelly 2000
The author and illustrators assert the moral right to be identified as the author and illustrators of this work
A catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library
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Source ISBN: 9780006751502
Ebook Edition © NOVEMBER 2012 ISBN: 9780007439690 Version: 2016-12-02
For Henrietta (We made each other laugh) and for my friend Mark Alexander (also known as Ranny Arbuckle …)
Contents
B stands for boob and also for breast
K is for knockers and Knickers
P is for pimples, in other words, spots
Q is a letter that’s followed by U
About the Publisher
Some people keep diaries: I am going to keep an alphabet! I am going to do two letters a week, starting from Monday. (The beginning of the spring term.) For every letter, I am going to write a poem. Some of them may be quite rude; it depends how I’m feeling. In between the poems I shall write down chunks of everyday life. My life! All the things that are happening to me, and especially with girls. If by the time I reach Z I still have not done it, I shall most probably go out and shoot myself.
Or drown myself, as I don’t have a gun.
Or swallow fifty-eight bottles of aspirin, or hurl myself
