it was also an attractive thing. It gave Max his competitiveness, and his drive. It made him the man he was, the man she loved.
‘Isn’t it unusual to have a male PA?’ she remarked, somewhat idly.
‘Unusual maybe. But wise, given the amount of time we spend overseas together.’
Tara blinked as the meaning behind Max’s words sank in. ‘Did you hire Pierce because he’s a man?’
‘You mean because I didn’t want to risk becoming involved with a female secretary?’
‘Yes.’
‘Absolutely. Been there, done that, and it was messy.’
‘How long ago?’
‘A good year or so before I met you.’
‘Did you sleep with her?’
Max pulled a face. ‘I wish you hadn’t asked me that.’
‘Did you sleep with her?’
‘Once or twice.’
‘Was it once, or twice?’
‘More than that, actually. Look, it was messy, as I said.’
‘Tell me about it.’
He sighed. ‘I’d rather not.’
‘I want to know. You know all about my past.’
‘Tara, you don’t have a past.’
‘Yes, I do. I might not have slept with guys but I made out with quite a few. I told you all about them that first night. I want to know, Max. Tell me.’
‘OK, but it isn’t pretty.’
‘Was she pretty?’
‘Pretty? No, Grace was not pretty. Not plain, either. Very slim. Nicely groomed. With red hair. Out of a bottle. She was already my personal assistant when Dad had his stroke. Up till then I’d taken care of the money side of things in the firm, here at home in Sydney. Suddenly, I had to go overseas. A lot. I took her with me. The man she was living with at the time didn’t like it and broke up with her. We’d never been involved before but all of a sudden, we were together every day of the week. We were both lonely, and stressed out. One night, over too many drinks, she made a pass at me and it just happened. It wasn’t love on my part. And she said it wasn’t on hers. It was more a matter of mutual convenience. I should have stopped it. I still feel guilty that I didn’t. Finally, when I tried to, she told me she was pregnant.’
Tara sucked in sharply.
‘She wasn’t,’ he went on. ‘It was just a ploy to get me to marry her. Frankly, I was suspicious right from the start. I’d always used condoms and there’d never been an accident, not like that one I had with you last year. When I insisted on accompanying her to a doctor to find out how far pregnant she was, she broke down and confessed she wasn’t at all.’
‘And if she had been, Max? What then? What would you have done?’
He shrugged. ‘I honestly don’t know. But she wasn’t, so I didn’t have to face that dilemma. Thank God. But it made me wary, I can tell you. Hence, Pierce.’
‘I see. And what happened to her?’
‘I’m pleased to say she went back home to the man she’d been living with before. I had a note from her some months later to say they were getting married, and this time she really was having a baby. I was happy for her because I suspect she thought she was past having a child. She wasn’t all that young, you see. She was forty by then.’
‘An older woman,’ Tara said with an edge to her voice. ‘And an experienced one, I’ll bet. Did you learn some of those kinky games from her, Max? Was that why you couldn’t stop? Because she never had to be persuaded to finish anything she started?’
‘Stop it, Tara,’ Max snapped. ‘Stop it right now. You have no reason to be jealous of Grace. I’m sorry my past is not as pure as yours but I won’t be cross-questioned on it. And I won’t apologise for it. I’m a mortal man. I’ve made mistakes in my life, but hopefully I have learned from them.’
Putting aside his breakfast tray, he stood up. ‘I think perhaps I should get going before you find something else to argue about. I can see you’re out of sorts this morning in more ways than one. When you do feel well enough to go home, for pity’s sake use the credit card I gave you to take a taxi this time. I noticed in the statements I receive that you never use the darned thing these days.’
‘Fine,’ she said, wanting him to just go so that she could cry.
His eyes narrowed on her. ‘I wish I knew what was going on in that pretty head of yours.’
‘Not much. Blonde-bimbo mistresses aren’t known for their brains.’
‘Tara…’
‘I know. I’m acting like a fool. Forgive me.’ Tears pricked at her eyes.
‘Oh, Tara…’ And he started walking towards her.
She knew, without his saying a word, that he was going to take her into his arms. If he did that, she was going to disintegrate and say even more stupid things.
‘Please don’t come near me,’ she said sharply. ‘I smell of sick.’
He stopped, his eyes tormented. ‘I don’t want to leave you on this note.’
‘You can make it up to me next weekend in Auckland, when I feel better.’
‘That’s a week away.’
‘Ring me from Hong Kong, then. But not tonight. Tonight I want to go to bed early and sleep. I’m wrecked.’
He smiled. ‘Same here. I’ll be sleeping on that plane. All right, I’ll ring you tomorrow night. Can I peck you on the forehead?’
‘If you must.’
‘Oh, I must,’ he said softly as his lips brushed over her forehead. ‘I must…’
Tara waited till he was definitely gone before she dissolved into some very noisy weeping.
TARA stared at the blue line, all her fears crystallised.
She was pregnant.
Stumbling back from the vanity basin, she sank down onto the toilet seat, her head dropping into her hands.
But somehow, she was beyond tears. She’d cried for ages after Max left. Cried and cried.
It had been close to two o’clock by the time she’d pulled herself together enough to get dressed and go downstairs to buy a pregnancy-testing kit from the chemist shop in the foyer.
